A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel so insecure like never b4. Please help. Before I met this guy I was confident. I met him 2 years ago on a chatline. We instantly connected. It took us a while to finally meet n person because he was emotionally and verbal abusive to me. So I would always hold back, bt deep down I loved him. Finally he comes to visit and 1 day after he leave he calls me cursing me out saying to never call him again. He was upset about things that actually happened b4 he drove to me. This came from left field. He would always get mad at me for holding grudges and say how that isn't right yet now he's doing it. I don't no what went wrong. I'm torn and miserable and I no I need to get over him. It seem like this heartbreak wouldn't have been so bad if I would of never met him or had sex with him. He said he's " talking" to someone new and that hurts me so bad. Lik after 2 months ur already moved on after expressing ur love for me for 2 years. I js want to b over this guy and this situation. It seems like he always wanted to put me down physically and emotional. What did I do? Y all of a sudden after we hang out he doesnt want me? When I ask he mentions everything that went wrong b4 he came so it has to b something else. He knew what i looked lik because we would skype so I don't think it could of been that he didn't lik the way I looked bt idk. I can't stop crying. I can't seem to shak him off. I never felt this kind of Heart break before. I look at myself totally different now as if I'm not good enough for anyone. I use to love myself. Y do I have all these new emotions. Maybe he planned this and wanted to hurt me on purpose however he would beg me to hang out and let's meet and visit and would always say things will change once we meet. Please help me. 90 percent of me feels like it's my fault cz i new he was an asshole from the beginning bt never would I ever thought he would hurt me like this. I cant think straight sometimes I can't eat all I do is cry.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): It sounds to me like you both got what you wanted from this.
He wanted a nice girl to use. And you wanted a bad-boy to use you.
If you don't like it then do something different next time.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Of course he would hurt you like that. He was an arsehat before you even met in real life, he was an arsehat in chat, and an arsehat when you first met. There was nothing there to indicate he would be any different at any time.
Learn what you can from the experience, spend the next month or so determining what it was about him that attracted you so that you know next time those emotions come a knocking you will be able to resist any temptations or urges to fall in love with the wrong guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): he's a jerk, and he's highly unstable. there's no way that anything good can come out of getting involved with someone like that. I think he gets a sense of power from hurting other people and having control over them.you'll be OK, don't worry, just give it time. stop trying to make sense of his behavior because there is no sense to it since he's so unstable. I think you fell in love with a false persona, there never existed such a person he was only pretending in the beginning and then his true colors showed but you refused to see those as true colors because you were already hooked on what you thought he was. now's the time to admit the reality which is that he's always been a jerk, there's nothing to say that you loved him deep down because you were in love with a fantasy that didn't exist.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (23 February 2012):
 HI
As horrible as this is im afraid he used you for sex, now he got it his moved on to the next poor girl, your not the first or the last girl who has fallen for this kind of guy. His a complete arsehole who gives good men a bad name, put this down to experience, please dont beat yourself up over this, the heart feels what it wants to feel, you were obviously in a vunerable state when you fell for him. Forget the jerk his not worth the oxygen you breath hun .
Mandy xx
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