A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Prior to meeting my girlfriend a year and a half ago, she met this supposedly “happily married” man at a church social function. According to my girlfriend, he apparently calls her from time-to-time to say “hi,” and will always inquire about any help with “handy-man” projects around her house. I’ve never met this man and I’m a alarmed that he’s way too willing to offer his serves to fix things around my girlfriend’s place for free. I have explained to her my concerns that he may not be as innocent as she thinks and that he may be looking to start an affair, but she denies this saying that he is a practicing Christian with a wife and family and that I am overreacting and being controlling. Is she right or do I have a reason to believe this guy isn’t so innocent and may be trying to come onto her? Thanks in advance for your advice!
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 January 2012):
 Random people do help people with no thought for repayment. Not everybody is out to get everybody else. The OP has not given enough information to make a judgment based on the facts.
He has no reason to believe the man offering assistance is happily married or otherwise.
His girlfriend met the other man 18 months ago, but he doesn't say how often the phone calls are, simply that the man rings from time to time ... this could be every few weeks to every few months, or maybe every 6 months.
Mr Handyman's religion isnt any indication either, some Christians follow the teachings of Christ (as this man may do) and some abuse their religion for their own gain.
I have had random people helping me out on occassion, and there have been times when I have assisted people I don't know who appeared to need help.
I would be more concerned about why the girlfriend hasn't told Mr Handyman she now has a boyfriend who is more than willing and capable of helping out if something needs fixing ... unless she doesn't of course.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): "he is a practicing Christian with a wife and family"
So, why doesn't he have enough to do around his own house?
Sounds like a player, and she sounds like someone who likes the attention.
"girlfriend hasn't bothered to tell him she is no longer single and won't let me meet him"
This doesn't add up. Frankly, sounds like he's someone she's having an affair with.
Of course, Christians with families never do this...right?
Find yourself another girlfriend, or find a good counselor.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 January 2012):
 You could be right, or not.
Some people are naturally very willing to help, and they do. Some people love to help others out, but that doesn't mean they won't do special favors for a special someone.
His being a Christian with a wife and family is irrelevant. It would suggest that a Christian with a wife and a family is just incapable of cheating on his wife, and I trust my mere saying it makes things clear enough for people to notice that is just not so. Sometimes Mr. Christian resists everything except temptation. Sometimes, women take a liking to practicing Christians with wives and families, just for the thrill of making them go wrong.
You know, sometimes women use guys who are very willing to help. Those small jobs do cost money, you have to be there, et cetera; are you sure she isn't abusing Mr. Handyman's good heart?
Once upon a time, a friend of mine was abusing my good heart and the husband had the exact same suspicions about me. He was kind of right, you know? But he was wrong about the person he had to keep his eyes on. It was his girl who wanted something and was always demanding favors so I'd be there. Mr. Jealous complained all the time (in private), except for the time when he had a flat tire, noticed he didn't have a spare, and left off in a taxi. He told his wife to find help; maybe the Little Devil would be willing to help, just one more time?
I suggest you take care of repairs at her home. See how everyone reacts. You really need to know what is going on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): I think you are right. If I were his wife I'd have an issue with him volunteering his services around your girlfriend's home. Aunty Bim Bim seems disillusioned into thinking that random people do things for free/ out of good will.... NOTHING is free , and if hes offering to be a handyman, he's expecting something in return.
However, since your girlfriend has that view, you need to back off and tell her that was just how you felt about it, and then let it go. Even if he is trying to come onto her, it takes two to tango~ and if shes the type of girl to indulge him, then perhaps she isnt the girl for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should add that my girlfriend hasn't bothered to tell him she is no longer single and won't let me meet him. Almost seems like she's scared if I he knows about me, he may stop offering to fix things. On the other hand, he could be a nice guy offering a single woman with limited means some help.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (29 January 2012):
Personally I feel that if his intentions were to curry good favour in order to get a bit of lurvin' on the side he would have made the moves by now.
Is there anything apart from your belief nobody does good deeds without an underlying reason to make you suspicious of the guy? You have never met him, please tell me why yo felt the need to say he is supposedly "happily married".
Get out of here .... seems to me you are imposing your own morals and ethics onto a complete stranger.
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