A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would like to get advice on something family and money related. I have a job working full time with a decent salary. My family has a small business which they are struggling with. They have asked me for money several times in the last 2 years. I want to help them because they have always been there for me growing up. But I have student loans that I need to pay off. And I am also trying to save money aside for an emergency fund. Every time I get some money set aside, my family will take a part of it and it is making it very difficult to save or pay off my loans. What can I do? Thanks in advance.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 October 2012):
 what do you mean they take it? You mean you GIVE IT TO THEM.
JUST SAY NO. it's not your place to support other healthy adults...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, it's the original poster here. Thanks for all your answers.This is my parents business. And I do think that the management is not right. I know they are trying to get out of the business, but it just doesn't seem to be working. I have asked them what is wrong before and they just say that the business is struggling. I cannot say no to my parents, they have never denied me and my siblings anything growing up. But at the same time, I don't want to do it out of guilt and definitely not blindly. I am trying to ensure that I am able to handle myself financially, and I do not want to end up in a bad situation because of these decisions. I feel torn, but I will talk to them soon and make them sit down with me to give details about exactly what is going on. I'm just not sure how/if I can help but I will have to try.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 October 2012):
 It's always important to keep separate family and business...
IF you don't have funds available to invest in your family's business, then you have to take the same position that you would take if anyone ELSE asked you to invest with them.....
IF you DO invest with a family business.... it's critical that you make a "business" decision.... complete with all the real, LEGAL paperwork necessary (a "note"!) to delineate exactly what you contributed and what are the obligations of those receiving it.... and when/how you are to be repaid..... Incidentally, if you DON'T have such paperwork, you will be at-risk if you try - later - to include this as a "bad debt" in some subsequent tax return. The IRS doesn't recognize it that you "lent" Mom and Pop a few bucks and they stiffed you on paying it back!!!!!
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, mdmaddox11 +, writes (25 October 2012):
I think that you should approch them and try to help them figure out why they are losing money. THere may be some answers there that you didnt think of...e.g unnecessary expenses.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 October 2012):
 If your family's business is viable they should approach a lending institution. You don't say what the family relationship is, parents, sibling or cousins, nieces etc, nor what the business is.
I can imagine how difficult it must be to say no to parents or brothers and sisters, but you have debts that must take priority, and lending money to family is rarely a good idea.
Next time they approach you just say "I can't help you". Don't use the word sorry, and if they start implying or straight out relating your financial position to you, just repear the above "I can't help you".
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): Do they repay you? If not, be completely honest & tell them you wish you could help but you have loans you need to repay. It really isn't fair to put you in that situation. What would happen if you had something unexpected happen, you are being responsible in knowing you need a little extra on the side.
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