A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married without children and i have a lover. we have been seeing each other for 4 years now and for the the first year we were only friends.I am not happy with my husband but i dont want to leave him as he is a handsome guy and it ends thereSex with my husband is not very good, we do not communicate much, he is always busy with his work or hobbies and leave me alone at home.I have started to create a family relationship with that guy's sister and family since i usually go there and now he wants to have his own life with his own girlfriend and i am afraid to lose his family.In fact i don't have any family except these people.i dont know if i stop sex with him will i be able to go to his house and spend good times with his family or this will hurt me to see him with his new gf...when we met he had a gf and i was ok but he left her and i am used to having him for myself... i know this is selfish.i dont know what to do as i have to let go but i will lose everyone.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 October 2012):
 So you've been cheating on your husband for over half of your marriage? It may have been your first time but that was 4 long, full of cheating, years ago. And all you are worried about is your relationship with your ex-lover's FAMILY? Don't you think your priorities a slightly askew?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did not really mean i am with my husband because he is handsome and only that.We have been together for 7 years now. life was always me doing everything in the house as i was the one earning more.He was always busy with his friends and was sometimes cheating on me. i never cheated on him before this is my first time and i was feeling lonely so i was confiding in a friend who was then my colleague and after a year we started to date.In fact my mother left me with my grandma when i was 9 months old and my dad was always drunk since she left and my uncle always beating me up for any reason.When i turned 18 i left the house to go to my mum's place but she did not accept me as she had her own life so i took a job and rented a place. after some years i continued my studies which i am near to finish.i have always been lonely. Even when i married my husband his parents never liked me because i am not as pretty as i should be for their son (Indian Family according importance to skin colour)When i met my BF'S sister she just lost her mum herself so we started to be very close. i never had a sister and she needed someone older to rely on. her dad and stepmother really like me and no one knows that there is something going on with their son. we see each other intimately maybe only 2 times a month but i am with his family every week.I dont want to lose that. I mean i can accept losing him but i care for his family and i need them in my life or i will breakdown.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 October 2012):
Just curious, how long were you married before you started cheating on your husband?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Staying in an unhappy relationship because the other person is good looking seems to lack depth and meaning to me.
As for your boyfriend's family I am afraid his new girlfriend will take precedence and if they are put into a position where they need to make a choice, you wont be it!
Its time for you to come out of the twilight zone and build a life for yourself based on honesty and being real with yourself and other people.
Think about all aspects of your life as it currently is, and then imagine you are on your death bed looking back to today, what would you change, what would you do differently, how fulfilled do you feel when you look back to the woman you were then.
If you believe you will have no regrets then change nothing, stay in an unhappy marriage, don't get out and make friends of your own, have affairs that require nothing of you. Its your life and your choice.
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