A
male
age
36-40,
*edneck1
writes:so me and my ex have broken up for about 2 1/2 months now, we still talk and are friends, we were going to start dating in about a month and give us another try (we were together for about 3 years), but today she came to my house to tell me that she is pregnant with someone elses baby, i know the guy. I havent liked him since i first met him. He tried to get her to cheat on me, which im sure she didnt. Not only is she pregnant she is 8 weeks pregnant, so she started sleeping with this guy right after we broke up. She says they argue, he talks to alot of other girls in a flirty way and he doesnt like that we talk. I dont know how to feel i still love her, but at the same time i dont think this is recoverable. on a side not i have met another girl who seems to be the only one who has been able to make me smile at all through all this. She is beautiful and ambitious and has an adorable son. she is alot like me and we like alot of the same things. I think she is amazing and i really like her, there are a few complications that would make a relationship a bit tough but nothing to major. I need advice on if i should just move on with someone who makes me happy right now, who thinks im amazing, and just be friends with my ex or how i should feel about this whole tihng. Im mad, upset, confused, hurt, relieved, everything and i dont know what to do about it. I bought a ring, i was sure we were going to be together forever, she said she wanted to get married to me and have a life. Then out of nowhere, she says she hasnt loved me for months and that she was just hoping the feeling would come back, she still says im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy. I thought it was supposed to be her, but maybe its supposed to be this new girl. Im ready to move on and be happy again. plz all help is appreciated.
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ambition, broke up, flirt, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Beautifulboy +, writes (9 November 2012):
you werent easy to move on from because she had to immeadiately physicaly connect with another guy a couple times just to get you off of her mind.. sounds to me like she dosent love herself. her being pregnant is a blessinh for you. if you want to be happy an have no pain, i saw you start to get to know this other girl an take things slow BUT definately take things. atart to make her the reason you wake up and smile. and absolutely NO CONTACT i repeat NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CONTACT with your ex. NONE. not even a "hey, how was your month?". if your in contact you will never fully 100% move on. take it from some1 who just recently got over there ex for 2 years from 3months of no contact starting 3 months ago. dont ever give into contact with your ex. trust me. give this girl a shot an look for everything in her thats the opposite of your ex to make sure you get hurt. go be happy my friend with some1 who says your amazing!! but remember "NO CONTACT"
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (2 November 2012):
Indeed, sometimes we thought we really knew someone but then that person pulls a 180. Do not blame yourself or think less of yourself for her mistakes and shortcomings or. She did what she wanted to do, which did not work out. You on the other hand, suffered, endured and have a very good future ahead of you. What has happened, forever will be in the past so let's move on now to brighter and better things. No use in only thinking about the bad times, when there are good times too.
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A
male
reader, redneck1 +, writes (1 November 2012):
redneck1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the advice everyone it really helped. Just to make things clear it seemed like i confused people i wanted us to try and start dating again before i knew about her pregnancy. since i have heard that, i know that me and her are through. what im confused about is how i should feel about it. I know she screwed up, she cant have me back, and im gonna move on from her, what hurt the most is the fact it seemed like i was so easy to move on from, and that she could do that so quickly, thats what hurt. Thank you again for all the advice if anyone has anything else to say for words of encouragement, or more advice its always welcome.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2012): Your ex is not for you! I definitely would not be going back to that. She's been stringing you along and that's not very nice. You've found another girl who will most likely treat you way better than your ex did... so why not go for it? But! Do not go in too fast.. take things slow. You say you're ready to move on, so move on. C:! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 November 2012):
 You EX is NOT the one for you, that is for sure. She has just been stringing you along as "friends" in case the other guy didn't work out.
Let her go, she made her own bed (and got knocked up with a guy she been dating for 5 minutes) and make your own happiness. YOU do not OWE your ex to give it another go. You however, DO owe yourself to try and find a girl who can be that special someone for YOU.
Just go REALLY slow with this new girl. She doesn't deserve to be a rebound.
Good luck.
I'd like to add that you might want to consider cutting the contact with the ex if you plan on dating/seeing someone new. A clingy ex GF who doesn't know WHAT or WHO she wants is not the kind of baggage most girls want to deal with. It's just DRAMA waiting to happen.
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A
male
reader, Xearo +, writes (1 November 2012):
You've found a new girl and that is great! Take your time to get to know her and enjoy the relationship as much as you can.
I think your ex has really dug a hole for herself. I think she did cheat on you but that is just my suspicion. It doesn't matter at this point. It would be best to just move on. The thing is that you were going to try to make another attempt with her? I think you really need to sort yourself out then and take some time off from everything. I'm not saying to disconnect from everything but you are really young and you are faced with some serious life troubles here. With a clear head, maybe things will then be clearer to you. It's simple advice I know but it is often the simplest techniques that help us the most.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2012): "Maybe my ex just isn't the one?"If she's your ex because she dumped you for another guy and she's now knocked up with that other guy's kid, then she DEFINITELY isn't the one. "She is beautiful and ambitious and has an adorable son. she is alot like me and we like alot of the same things."She is cunning and calculating and treacherous and viperous, she already had an out-of-wedlock knock-up kid for whom she needed to find a sap to use as a meal ticket, and she couldn't be any less like you even if she had a dick of her own and you still had the dick she has on a leash. "He tried to get her to cheat on me, which im sure she didnt. Not only is she pregnant she is 8 weeks pregnant, so she started sleeping with this guy right after we broke up."She tried to get him to have sex with her behind your back when you were still a "couple," which I'm sure she did, which is why she hopped into bed with him the second after she dumped you, because that's EXACTLY why she dumped you, so she could hop into bed with him ALL the time instead of SOME of the time. "Then out of nowhere, she says she hasnt loved me for months and that she was just hoping the feeling would come back, she still says im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy."The guy who knocked her up must have dumped her the instant she told him she was knocked up (he's no fool), and since she obviously knows that she has your dick on a leash and your balls in a jar, whom else's affections would she come back to exploit as good ol', ever reliable, desperation back-up Plan B? Sorry, OP, but very, very difficult to feel any sympathy for a guy who remains so resolutely clueless and oblivious in the face of such stark, harsh, cold, unvarnished reality. Only advice I can offer is STOP THINKING WITH YOUR DICK and START THINKING WITH YOUR BRAIN because SHE'S thinking with HER cunning, calculating, pathologically evil little mind knowing you are thinking with your dick.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 November 2012):
 Time to wake up and take a good long look here. She already has a child, she broke up with you 10 weeks ago, you were planning to get together again in about a month (?? eh) and she is 8 weeks pregnant. But not to worry, you have already met a girl who can make you smile through all this who makes you happy.
Hulloooooo! There is no cosmic law stating persons over a certain age MUST be in a relationship. It has been a mere 10 weeks since the most major breakup of your life, or that is the way you wrote it, and you were so in love you were talking about getting back together with her in about a month. (That still doesn't make much sense).
So, what is wrong with taking some time out of relationships to self reflect for a while, work out what went wrong with the one that just fell apart, and what your part may have been in it's demise. Self relflect and work out what you might need to do to ensure the next relationship wont fall in a heap. And then, once you have taken the time to ensure there is no baggage from the last relationship (which aint the case in your case) start considering a new relationship. People dont fall out of love and in love with new people in only 10 weeks. That isn't love, thats either lust or living in a world that has been liberally sprinkled with fairy dust.
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