A
female
age
36-40,
*eflecti0n
writes:Firstly, I understand nobody's perfect. Within each and every one of us lies a chemical imbalance of some sort. Mine is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This is caused by my Attention deficit Disorder. ( ADHD) I recently learned this from my Psychiatrist. THANKFULLY, I'm married to an incredible man. Because those mentioned disorders, I believe are ruining my relationship. I'm prescribed medication to manage but have discontinued use. I often make inconsiderate decisions, Can be very cruel, selfish, and hallow. My husband dislikes me taking medicine for my issues. We fight, are very distant, and unhappy. HELP. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 November 2012):
 ADHD does NOT CAUSE GAD..however they can exist together.
YOU need medications to give you the stuff that "god forgot"
IF you read my article on Co-dependency you will see that a partner not wanting their spouse to get better or get help through medication is a form of keeping you sick and keeping you co-dependent on him.
what is his reasoning.... if he's just generally against medications that's not a good thing.
IF you have sexual issues or other issues with the meds then you need to find meds that work.
but not taking the medications you need just to please your spouse is not very healthy behavior. It's codependency at it's finest.
I have ADHD... one of the more severe cases. Sadly medications never helped my ADHD and the other co-morbid issues I have, I don't respond well to meds.... ativan knocks me out, most anti-depressants result in sexual dysfunction...
most pyschotropic drugs have side effects and you have to weigh which is worse, having GAD or being depressed or the side effects of the meds.
truth be told, if you need the meds, if they help more than they hurt and your husband does not want you taking them for his own selfish reasons, then your husband is not a good supportive loving man, he's selfish.
ADHD folks are lousy at relationships... it's part of the ADHD..
I strongly urge you to follow your doctors orders and when you are ready you will end the marriage that is not healthy for you or learn to stand up for you needs.
if you were a diabetic and needed insulin would you not take it because your husband did not want you to?
why is mental health treated so differently?
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 So what are you like when you ARE taking the medications? And P.S. there are ways to take it when he doesn't know it. Just stash it in your bathroom out of sight and each morning when you brush your teeth, take your meds. Don't advertise it, don't make a big deal out of it. It the meds keep you sane, keep you normal and rational then you need to be on them. Your husband should not discourage this if it helps you be a better person. He probably longs to be with someone who's normal. He sees your medication as "high maintenance". Plus you probably spend too much time talking about it, focusing on it, making it your label in life and he's sick of dealing with that. Just take your meds and live a normal life. You don't have to tell everyone you meet that you have these problems. Descretion is valuable. I suggest you make it as invisible as possible and then you'll both be able to live a normal life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): I agree with the other aunts specially LonelyTwo, someone what you need is not medication. For example, there was this child that was diagnosed with ADHD and what happened is that certain food coloring/too much sugar caused his behavior, after clean diet he is doing great. Another kid as diagnosed as being on the Autism spectrum and on reality he was allergy to gluten , after a non gluten diet he grew up to be an excellent man, and goes to a top college.
Look at other alternatives for what you have, my bf had serious depression. His meds made him happy sure, but they are not better than coke or marihuana,they made him feel happy or focused. He gt off the meds that clouded his real self and got into the gym, and started to eat clean. His "depression" was gone. Drugs are just that, drugs.
Your husband is not a doctor, but you are far too young for these medicines. People are selfish, shalooow and annoying naturally. If you are not taking medicine, think to yourself
"If I was on his place how would I feel??" My own brother has Autism, and has not been medicated once, we have used this approach as well. Putting yourself on other's places. He graduated from his MAsters, has a wife and two beautiful children.
Be sure to consult your doctor, or research other alternatives online,rather than faking a behavior with meds. You can also try to go out togethe ron vacation jsut you two, or spend some quality time. Sit with him, and tell him you will try to do you best, but he has to calmly let you know when you are doing soemthing that is hurtful. For example "saying something mean" he can calm say "when you do this it is mean" and you will take note and avoid that. You can certainly modify your behavior, after a while you will understand what is right and wrong for you.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (3 November 2012):
 (he=your husband)
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (3 November 2012):
I really don't think it's his business whether you take anti-anxiety meds or not. Maybe he believes in the stigma of mental health issues or medication to control their symptoms, but that doesn't mean you have to adopt his view, too. If you feel better on them, and your doctor agrees you should stay on them, then don't listen to what he says.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 November 2012):
 I agree with the other ladies, go see your doctor. You husband is NOT a doctor and therefore should tell you what medication to take or not to take.
It could be the dose or even the brand that isn't working for you, hence, why you need to see your doctor.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 November 2012):
I would also recommend that you go back to your doctor and change medication if possible. I do agree with Aunty Bimbim that your husband can't be making medical decisions for you - if you need medication, you need it and that's it.
But, that said, your husband won't realistically want to accept the side effects of your medication for the rest of his life. If your medication is having the side effects of changing your personality for the worst, no one can really blame your husband for not being happy with it.
See if your doctor can change medication for you, and it would be worth your husband coming with you so he can understand more about your condition.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (3 November 2012):
 If you believe your medication is not working for you talk to your doctor.
But it sounds to me your husband just doesn't beleive in the medication you need, is that correct? If it is the case, again, talk to your doctor, and then take your husband to your doctor so he can be told by an expert why the medication is necessary. Your husband should not be making these major decisions about YOUR health.
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