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Two years after breaking up we are still having sex!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Sex, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 November 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, *ashay writes:

I am In Love with my ex of five years we only been broke up for two and he has a girlfriend and I have been having sex with him cause I love him alott when he leaves me I am sick to my stomach I can't even sleep. I ask him if e loves her and he says no but I no he Loves me and I know he doesn't It hurts I need to know how to be okay with me letting go of the Love I have for him I don't know what to say or do

View related questions: broke up, has a girlfriend, my ex

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A female reader, danni123 United Kingdom +, writes (18 November 2012):

hi there in this situation you need to end it with him and move on and stop hoping that some day u will be with him, its been 2 years now and nothing has happend apart from the two of you having sex, of course your gonna feel terrible everytime he leaves you because your still in love with him and u think everytime u have sex he might wnt u back, im afraid not u do need to realise that there is another woman involed and although he says he loves u at the end of the day he goes back to her and not u if that makes sense, your wasting your time with him if he loves u then he would be with u wouldnt he? move on and find someone else hope this helps take care x

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 November 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYou need to cut all contact with him. HE isn't loving you back, he is JUST using you as a slab of meat on the side.

If he is STILL with his new GF, I'm betting he DOES love her, but if he told you YES, I love you you might cut him off and he can't have that. He LIKED having you available for sex. And as LONG as you keep doing this to yourself.. you will NOT move on and you will NOT find the love that you deserve.

So BLOCK his number, un-friend him on Facebook and what not, do not talk or text or have ANY contact with him. You can if you think you can handle it, tell him that you can't play his game no more and for him to NEVER call/text/come by any more.

What he is DOING is wrong. It not right for him to USE you and cheat on his GF. But what you are doing is WRONG too. You are letting this guy take full advantage of you and you are sleeping with a GUY you KNOW has a GF, that isn't right. Even if he was your BF for a while. Don't be THAT girl.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (10 November 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntLashay, you have to be tough with yourself, just dont be available, don't answer his texts, block his number, block him on facebook and other social network sites, don't answer the door and most of all, don't just lay back and present yourself to him.

Two years since you broke up, this cheating swine of a man doesn't care two pinches of goat's dung for your feelings or for his girlfriends, he will use you both up until you are just empty shells, and then move on to the next one.

Be strong with yourself, everytime you start slipping remind yourself you deserve better than this. In fact, write it down on a few slips of paper, and always have one handy to pull out and read when ever he tries to contact you, write "Lashay, you deserve better than this crap" and just try to keep busy.

Somebody once told me it takes three weeks to break a bad habit, well as an ex smoker I know it took a lot longer than that, but to be sure, after three weeks it wasnt quite so bad, and after three months although the longing was still there it wasnt too bad either.

So, slowly but surely, just wean yourself off this bad habit of yours, remind yourself every day he is a waste of your emotions, and you deserve better.

Only you can do this, but we are all here to give support and encouragement if you feel you need it.

Good luck!

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A female reader, Lautrec United States +, writes (10 November 2012):

I was in a similar position as yours a year ago. I slept with my ex and he acted like he was going to get back with me, but then broke off contact completely. We didn't talk and a year later, we're together albeit some communication issues.

My advice to you is to just stop talking to him for now. He could mean what he's saying and need some time to make a decision about what to do next. Alternatively, he could unfortunately be playing both you and his girlfriend in an attempt to have his cake and eat it too. Give him some time without contact and see what happens. Time is the best way to tell if he's serious or if his actions really do speak louder than words. Unfortunately, he probably doesn't have any plans to break up with his girlfriend to be with you, but honestly, if he does, you shouldn't want him anyway because it's just known that when someone breaks up with their SO for you, history is more likely to repeat and you could find yourself in the same position as his girlfriend would be if he broke up with her.

Anyway, wait it out a bit and see what happens. Best of luck!

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