A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,basically a few weeks ago my ex boyfriend from 4 years ago asked me if he could come stay with me for a few days during his time off work. Knowing exactly what he's like with planning stuff and then never getting round to doing it, I agreed that we could meet up and that it'd be nice to see each other after so long - we always had great chemistry and a fantastic, stable relationship. He claims he still isn't over me, so I figured it's worth a shot. However I didn't know how serious he would be about it, I thought it'd just be one of those things that you say you're going to do then never get round to doing it, and when I realised he was deadly serious, I started to panic and thought it wouldn't be wise to have him come to stay for a few days after we hadn't seen each other for about 3 years. I suggested meeting up first to see how things went after so long apart as either of us could have regretted it and have to put up with the other for a few days, but he got so angry with me about how I'd changed my mind and that he wanted to do things the way he wanted. I thought surely if he was that bothered about seeing me then he would do anything to come meet up with me even just for the day first and THEN later stay if things went well? His excuse was that staying over would mean he could see me for longer, and when I suggested otherwise he was furious. He wanted everything to go by his rules, for him to come down on the weekend he stated and at his times. Am I being unreasonable with my suggestion? I wouldn't feel comfortable because, even though we were together for a long time, neither of us had been very intimate with each other and I feel that if he did stay he'd see me like that, in a very personal way, and I just don't feel ready for him to see me like that yet after so long apart. I feel like after my suggestion I've lost all hope of any reconciliation with him in the future.Any help with this would be much appreciated :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 November 2012):
 He wants free board and some sex thrown in on the side. If he wanted to rekindle your romantic relationship he would approach this differently, he would know a few dates, maybe flowers, some romantic words etc, would be needed.
Its your place, your life, your rules. I would not be allowing this bozo try and bully you into doing something you dont want to do if I were you.
Tell him no, its not on. No explainations are required, no reasons, you owe him nothing.
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