A
male
age
30-35,
*hbro3
writes:For the past year my best friend and I have been getting closer. We have decided to have sex for the first time this Friday, so in two days. Is there any advice somebody can give on what to do and what not do? This is my first time but not hers. So I am inexperienced. Any advice at all would be great. Thanks
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male
reader, eocalla +, writes (19 February 2009):
Well, skill in bed is something that really has to be learned through hands on experience. Its rather difficult to explain or try to absorb the information via the internet.
I guess since she has more experience you should let her lead you through it. That would be the best way to go.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): Sex isn't just about being physically ready, it's about being mentally and emotionally ready as well. A teenager isn't any of that. I know youre going to tell me that you are because that's how a teenager thinks, they think that they are ready for this or that. But in reality youre not ready, you have no idea what this is going to do to you or your friend. What if this happens and it ruins the relationship that you have. A teenager doesn't have the ability to deal with these kinds of things and situations. Sex isn't just about showing that you love "someone" It's about showing love to that someone, that someone special. Anyways I'm sure I didn't change your mind, but at least:Make sure you use a condom!!!
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A
male
reader, hhbro3 +, writes (19 February 2009):
hhbro3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 thank you for all of that. it helps a lot. she is on birth control and i have condoms. the reason we picked friday is because we will be home alone with plenty of time to decide if this really is the right choice. this is no bet or deal, im in love with this girl. we've been through so much itd take me forever to type about it all. she lost her 5 year old brother back in september, she helped me through my brother being deployed and almost not coming back, i helped her through a miscarriage. she and i have both discussed this for a very long time with each other and thought about it for days upon days now. we decided that we want to show each other that we are in love with one another and that this could/would be one of the best ways to show and prove it. thank you for your input, it pretty much covered it all. thanks to j12toes too.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Okay, Jay12toes, I hear your call here. This is what I can come up with for someone who is still underage about to have sex for the first time with a friend.
I hope that you're not doing this on some kind of bet or to settle a dare, but because you deeply and truly love and trust and respect this person. That because you have made the momentous decision to proceed that you already have researched the risks and what happens and what kind of precautions to take. That you two have discussed why you have chosen to change your relationship forever. That you have thought this through very carefully, and have considered all the consequences, good and bad, that you will have to face after things are over.
You of course already know that this is not something that you go around announcing to people unless she has agreed that it's okay to discuss it.
Generally, I think the first time is awkward and tense for just about everybody. I would venture to say that while it can be very memorable, it can also be something that you'd rather have a 'do-over' on; so be prepared to be disappointed. People who are in love and committed to each other generally can handle a less than perfect experience because they trust and respect one another, and know that they are working toward a common goal of mutual pleasure and happiness.
Setting a specific date and time may be helpful, but it can also be a problem if someone wants to bow out; it is difficult to do gracefully. So be sure that the reason for selecting Friday as THE date and THE time is a really compelling one. Personally, I find specific dates like this to be a bit like watching one of those home makeover shows: it's something that helps the production team budget for the show and it might make for interesting viewing, but it usually results in a room that looks like drunken orangutans have painted and hung the drapery. In other words, it's substandard and for no other reason than someone decided on a foolish timeline.
Anyway, I'm getting off the topic here. Right, here we go...
Then, because you have done your research and you know and love and trust one another, you have all the time in the world. You don't have to worry about impressing her with how studly you are, because she knows the most important thing is that you love her. She doesn't have to worry about you hurting her, because she knows that you will take things very slowly and put her pleasure above yours, because you love her so much. You both have taken precautions against getting pregnant, but in the unlikely yet possible event that she does somehow conceive, you know what to do because you have already discussed it. (That's part of the thinking through all the consequences.)
I'm just kind of curious why you chose this Friday as being the date. Is it because you two love each other so much that you can't wait, or someone's parents are out of town so you have the chance to try?
So you trust each other and have discussed all the consequences and have made decisions about those and you've done your research and you have protection, well, then you now have nothing to worry about. You can relax and enjoy the journey, the exploration and because of the love you two share, it will be special for both of you, even if it is not a 'perfect' evening.
If you've read this far, then you realize that I have been elaborating and emphasizing points to an extreme because I think you are getting out ahead of yourself. 13-15? You still have so much to learn about the world and life and yourself and women and love and sex too... I would hate for you to do something that you'd look back on with regret.
Condoms, patience, respect, love, good communication. That's a good start.
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (19 February 2009):
 i dont think you guys are being very helpful, i understand you concern but he wants sex advise. i dont think he should go through with it either but if i had some advice i would share it. everyone knows to ware a condom, thats not what hes nervice about.
the best advice i could give you is to have her be on top since she already knows what shes doing, i would help you out more then that, but im a virgin so.... i got nothin.
to tell the truth i was hopeing for real advice on this question so that i would know what to do when the time came.
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A
male
reader, eocalla +, writes (19 February 2009):
First of all you need to know that sex can ruin friendships. After you two get it on you might become emotionally attached to her. How would you feel if you had deep feelings for this girl and then she moved on and started having sex with someone else. If you value your friendship you should think twice about going through with this. I have fouled many friendships by initiating sex with my female friends. You MUST wear a condom! STD's suck and they're becoming more and more common.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Dude im 18 and have never had sex, why do you guys find it so necessary to have sex so early so much can go wrong and possibly mess up your life or make it so much harder then it has to be. Yeah i want to and it makes me sexually frustrated as hell, but at least i don't have to worry about the possibilities for now. You really need to think this over before you do it.
If you decide to do it makes sure to not be a fool and wrap your tool
For bad things can come to foos who don't, and your really don't want Mister T to come beat you up do you, lol.
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (18 February 2009):
 1. ummm think before you do this
2. make sure you're ready for sex
3. use a freakin condom-lol
4. know what can go wrong, condom can split
could get std or sti...could get her pregnant
5. and know that if you guys continue to have sex
she's gonna have to get on birthcontrol- having
sex is really complicated
6. think it over again
7. have funn!!! if you decide to go on with it,
it would be better if you didn't and waited a
couple more years for sex, but its your
decision
Gudd luck bro, hope you have funn'
and..."don't be silly, wrap your willy"-lmfao!1
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 DON'T DO IT!!!!
And if you really can't control your teenage urges USE a CONDOM and read the instructions and practice with a few first!
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