A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me best mate is a woman. I've been in love with her since Year 9. She is getting married in six months. She frequently tells me she's getting cold feet about it all and I try to reassure her that she picked the right guy. But in my heart, I know I am the right guy for her. I did have a chance with her, once upon a time, but I fucking blew it! I am a bloody coward, but how do I let her know about my feelings without her going mad about it all? Should I just keep it all in and watch her marry a guy who doesn't know her like I do? A guy who won't treat like a queen like I would? I would give anything to be the man she exchanges vows with, be the man that fathers her children. I would give anything to go back in time just three years and just tell her I love her when I had the chance! I am not interested in any other woman; this woman. This amazing, intelligent, beautiful woman is the only one I think about. And she's marrying another man. Only two things are reassuring me about this whole thing: she's getting cold feet about it and her sister tells me not only does her sister but me best mate think she's making a mistake. Just earlier today, she told me she's been thinking about cancelling the wedding because she doesn't thinks he chose the right guy. Should I keep me mouth shut and hope for it all to fall in me favour? Or accelerate the process and tell how I feel? I am so confused and I need some advice! Thank you to anyone who can help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): Thank you to both responders! I feel more confident in the fact that she might actually call this wedding off. I know that sounds very selfish of me, but I can't help it. I'm not telling her how I feel until after the fact and even then, I'm going to ease into it. I do not want to lose her in any respect imaginable but I did have a chat with her sister and she's going to try and talk some sense into her. Her sister is slowly becoming my hero, lol. I know for a fact that she would not be happy with this man and I'm way more than willing to spend the rest of my life catering to her every need and want. That makes me sound like a "pussy" or whipped but I don't care. I love this woman and will spend every day proving that to her.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 You need to let her know how you feel. I think she KNOWS already that she's making a terrible mistake and is just going along with everything, going with the wave so to speak. The very fact she's telling you she's getting cold feet could be a hint to you that she has deeper feelings for you than you thought.
Even if you don't get together, you can't let her make a mistake that will ruin her (and the groom to be's) life! TELL HER how you feel!!! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from doing so.
~Eve~
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (28 February 2009):
 It may be too soon for you to say "Don't marry him, marry me" if she decides to call off the wedding with this guy, do you honestly think getting in to another deeply committed relationship will be the foremost thought in her mind?
Hopefully her sister will be able to talk some sense into her, but I feel if you do it, it could ruin your friendship.
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