A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm gonna be 18 soon and like a lot of other girls my age I really want a baby....I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and I know it doesn't sound like a long time but I know he's the one..we live together were together everyday and I love him more than anything in this world...he tells me he wants me forever and we talk about having a baby but everytime we disscuss it I always come to the conclusion that I want to wait...I know I'm too young but it's soo hard he's 5 years older so I feel like I'm holding him back from his life....I know if I were to get pregnant my family would not approve and I really think that's my biggest obstacle....I just feel stuck what should I do????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): I was in the same emotional state as you back in november and i decided to get pregnant (i had one month before turning 18). i do not regret it! i love feeling the baby move and feeling that connection only a mother can feel. don't let what a lot of these people are saying get to you! i always new i wanted to be a young mom! my husband is 8 years older than me and I have read that the age of the male has an effect on the genetic disorders your child could possibly have. if you are mature enough to be with a man who is older than you than you are probably like me and are beyond your age in emotions and sensibility. do what your heart wants (as corny as that sounds) it's the only real thing anyone can rely on!Good luck and best wishes!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): I don't think you're stupid, I just don't think you see how good you have it right now. You're about to go to school, you have a decent boyfriend and you have your freedom: all of the people around you who are having babies envy your life right now. Please slow down! You may not believe it, but these are the best years of your life! You're not even 18, so you can't vote, buy cigarettes or drink legally, but you want a baby? LOL! Spend some time with a young mom and see what her day-to-day life is like and you will see that it is not all that glamourous. It takes more than a good job to raise a kid and babies are a strain on long-term relationships--relationships that have lasted longer than a year. If you think this guy is the one, there is no need to rush anything. Spend the next few years finishing school and enjoying being a couple before you bring a baby into the world. Once you see that the relationship is something you want for life, THEN get married THEN have a baby.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 I think you got the wrong end of the stick by the Jessicarabbits answer, she wasn't referring to your boyfriend having a job, but you, do you have a job or a university education. It's all well and good thinking you are going to be a great Mum, but when your boyfriend looses his job due to the credit crunch or when you need more money, for a new car, house etc, can you provide too.
I feel Jessicarabbits answer was fair and honest and as I said before, your mind is made up, why ask the question unless you have real doubts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow if you're gonna talk like this please then don't give advice...if you would read you would know the answers...my boyfriend has a good job and I'm going to cullinary school so what
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): I don't know why these kids come here and ask for advice when all they want to do is argue. If you want a baby, have one. If you don't, don't. That's what being an adult is all about- making decisions and living with the consequences.Just my two cents: if you are saying you "feel incomplete" without a baby, and you're only 18, I think you have a lot of growing up to do. Thinking your boyfriend is awesome and having a "maternal" instinct are not the only requirements for parents.Do you have a stable, well-paying job? A degree or some skill that's in demand in the workplace? A house? Have you researched good schools in your area? Will you be able to pay for college later? Have you read ANY parenting or child psychology books? If you care about what kind of life your child will have, hold off until you are older.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand that but I just want you all to know that I'm not one of those stupid girls who doesn't have anything and just wants to bring a baby in this world for the he'll of it...I have a lot of nieces and nephews and I am soo good with them..I have very strong motherly instinct..I always know what to do for them and I have great patience with them...it feels like everyone around me is having a baby and I feel soo strongly that that is what I missing I feel incomplete...so once again I appriciate all the advice and I accept it all keep them coming LOL
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand that but I just want you all to know that I'm not one of those stupid girls who doesn't have anything and just wants to bring a baby in this world for the he'll of it...I have a lot of nieces and nephews and I am soo good with them..I have very strong motherly instinct..I always know what to do for them and I have great patience with them...it feels like everyone around me is having a baby and I feel soo strongly that that is what I missing I feel incomplete...so once again I appriciate all the advice and I accept it all keep them coming LOL
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (28 February 2009):
We probably have got it all wrong, but if there wasn't doubts in your mind why ask for our advise, you've had some good honest answers here.
Think long and very hard before bringing a new life in to the world!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appriciate the advice but you guys have got it all wrong....he's not trying to force me to have a baby this is all me....he told me he"a behind me whatever I do....he just knows that in the future or now that he wants me to have his baby....he's getting a new job at the end of the month and we are moving out on our own....I'm gonna be down school soon so it just feels like everything is right...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 February 2009):
As far as I can tell, he has said all this stuff about wanting to be with you etc... and yet there is no ring on your finger.
As Jessica quite rightly says, anyone can SAY they love you and want to have a ffamily with you forever - talk is cheap.
Once you have had your dream wedding and looked amazing in your dress (since a baby will not have ruined your body yet) THEN you can talk about bringing a screaming bundle of life into the world. How will you pay for it? At 18, you've hardly established yourself in your career, saved up a housing deposit, got a nest egg together etc etc etc.
It may sound old fashioned but it gives you BOTH legal protection and statistics show that kids who are brought up by married parents have a much better chance in life.
Plus, as soon as you get married, TRUST men when I say your parents will start expecting / demanding grandchildren.
Good Luck!! xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): You're still young!!!
I'm 18 and I do not want a kid until I'm sure I'm absolutely sure can settle down.
Right now, I want to actually have FUN with my life, party, experience life to the fullest and not have to worry about taking care of a child.
I want to have a CAREER before I have a baby so I can know that the baby will be cared for and be raised the best it could be.
Think about what you will miss in life.
Are you financially ready?
Are you mentally ready?
If you had a baby now, could you raise it to be its best?
Think about everything before you decide.
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A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 Talk is cheap, babies are forever. Keep waiting and make sure you have your life settled and on track before you bring a baby into it. You owe everything you can possibly give to your child, so make sure you are in a position to give the most possible.
If he truly loves you and means what he says, then he will have no problem waiting for you to be a little older and more capable of supporting a family.
I know just how you feel. I want a baby so badly, but I'm still in school and have no job prospects at the moment, at least nothing that could support a baby. I've been with my BF for a year, and I know we would have the most beautiful baby ever, but I need to wait. It's hard, but it's what needs to be done.
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