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I am 15 and want to have a baby!

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 March 2009) 16 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I want to keep having sex....i was 14 when i started to and now 15 and want a baby. I really want to have one but my mom don't want me to i wanna fellow my own desires

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A male reader, Dalmatian United States +, writes (2 March 2009):

Are you mentally ready to go thru a long and painful labor or a C-section birth which is major surgery and requires

lots and lots of stitches ? At age 15 a normal size baby

has to fit through a small vagina. Too painful for me to even

think about. You will be prepaired for sure, but in the future, then it will seem and be much less difficult. Good Luck !

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009):

Please wait! i know it's hard (trust me!!) but having a baby too early could end up causing major health issues with you and the child and you may not even make it through the birth (the younger you are the higher the chances of dying in child birth) So if you care enough about your future and your future children please wait! How do you think your child will feel if he/she found out mommy died in child birth because she wanted a baby "now".

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009):

Your too young and selfish to have a child. You only think about what you want, you don't care about anyone else. Your mother dosen't want the hassle of having to support your baby and have it in her house. You can't work, you have no money, babies can't live on air. Your desires, your wants, YOU, YOU, YOU.... Babies need mothers who know how to put other people first and sacrifice things. Who wants a poor, broke, selfish child, who hasn't even finished school to look after them.

If your so ready, go out and get work and a house, and then you won't have to ask your mothers permission. You can't even look after yourself yet, let alone a child, nope, you'll just expect your mother to do it, just like she dose everything else for you.

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A female reader, wonderingcat United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2009):

wonderingcat agony auntThere are several good responses already in the past two weeks. Please click and read these links:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/14-pregnant-dont-want-to-tell-my-mum.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/15-and-wanting-a-baby.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-15-and-my-mum-thinks-im-a.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-my-boyfriend-and-i-keep-our-baby.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pros---cons-for-adoption--.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/abortion-or-adoption17-and-torn-.html

and many more ...

just do a small search on this site using key words like "teen pregnancy" or "15 pregnant" and you will find lots of information here ... both positive and negative comments.

Please please please reconsider before you make any decision to have a baby.

Like I mentioned before in previous postings, if you feel a need to fill a "void" in your life, to hold and care for a baby, you can always volunteer in day care centers, or children's ward in a hospital, or a community center for children for special needs, and so forth and so on. That way, not only will you be fulfilling your needs to "mother" children, but you will also be helping others. Furthermore, you do NOT have the financial headaches nor burden in raising one of your own: you get to go home and have fun yourself and go to bed without having to wake up every two hours, etc etc etc !

Take care, and for once, please try to think like an adult.

Cat

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2009):

DrPsych agony auntI agree with the other posts in that you are too young, should live a bit and get some financial security first. However, if you really desire a baby at your age what I would like to ask (or for you to ask yourself) is what is going on with you and your family that is making you very unhappy? A lot of teenage girls wanting babies do this because they want someone to love them and there is usually something telling in their background. If you are feeling bad, talk to your school counsellor.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009):

Having a child should be for a time when you are ready to give up your needs for someone else's. Many women go through phases around your age when they want children; however, you need to have the child for the right reasons, not because you want one. You want one for very selfish reasons right now. You do not have much to offer a child. You are not even old enough to drive it to the doctor's. If you have a job, it is likely a minimum wage job. You have no education. Wait until you build a foundation in life, then have a child for the right reasons, and I am sure you will be a great mom. In the meantime, maybe you can volunteer at a day care center.

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A female reader, PHATandSWEET United States +, writes (1 March 2009):

Hello sweetie,

I am not trying to knock you at all. But first and foremost you are to young to be having sex. But if that is something that you feel that you need to be doing. Then go ahead but really think first about your choices. One I hope that you aren't sleeping with alot of boys and if you are please have them wear protection. Because there are more things out here to worry about then having a baby there are things that you can't get rid of when you are tired of it. Also I am 34 years old and and single mother and it is very hard for me to care for my daughter at this age. So wonder what it would be like for you at 15. Also you have to remember that young fathers don't stay around. Don't rush into things live your life and stay true to your self Because even though you have your family in your the only one who knows what;s best for you is you. Make the best of it take it from one who didn't

take care

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009):

You are absulute getting crazy are you? You have no idea what you are saying and thinking. Get out of that thinking baby. face it YOU ARE STILL YOUNG" that crazy thinking happen already not only to you, it happen to all woman just like me. but i never let this emotion and hormones win me, because I DONT WANNA BE THE LOSER IN THE END. Now" grab your stuff and go to your friends, watch movies go disco and have fun on your self. BE NICE TO YOUR SELF" thats the best advice i can tell you.. XXXX

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntRead this post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pregnant-alone---scared.html This poor lady is in her 40s can you immagine dealing with the same issues as a teenager?

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2009):

You are going through puberty and your hormones have just gone off like a car bomb. It's no wonder you are having these crazy urges.

I know it feels like you NEED to have sex and have a baby, but please please please trust me when I say that ALL girls react like this to hormones.

Why do you think we go crzy once a month? Even as adults it's hard to handle them.

Your mum is right, this is just your hormones going crazy and you should NOT act on them in ANY way. Any chemical that can make your body double or tripple in size and grow breasts has got to have some side effects, right?

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntWell follow your own desires when you are legally old enough!

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A female reader, MochaLady7 United States +, writes (1 March 2009):

I completely agree with everyone who posted. You are 15 years old. You are still a baby yourself. You don't need to have a child right now. There is so much in life that you still need to accomplish, like graduating high school and going to college. You should be hanging out with your friends. Enjoy being a teenager. PLEASE... have a baby is a huge responisiblity!!

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (1 March 2009):

tux agony auntI think you need to rethink your desire to have a baby. You may think you are ready, but you are not. You need to grow up and get yourself settled before you decide to have this baby. Having a baby may sound great, but once your pregnant things will change and you may not want it anymore. Heck, my wife is pregnant now and i'm not quite sure if i'm ready and we are 30/31. So please step back and re-assess your wants..

Also, you might want to check out a pretty good article written here recently.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-thought-i-wanted-a-baby-but-i.html

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A female reader, Confined United States +, writes (1 March 2009):

Well your 15 like me and I don't want a baby but I see were your coming from I want to be a young mom to but not now 20 or 19 is wen I want to but a baby is a huge responsability school and fun what about a job chances are you can't support a baby but if you can't wait have a baby for school go siber and job wise mcdonalds or something fun Is down the tubes dnt expect your mom to do everything for you that's not how it works think plan don't get prego and then relize you dnt want it oh but if you do have a baby jeremy for a boy and daina for a girl

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (1 March 2009):

jessica04 agony auntPlease do not have a baby while you are so young. There is little you can do to support a child on your own. I know you think you can just run out and get a part time job, but that would hardly pay the cost of day care for the baby, let alone, diapers, food, stroller, baby wipes, clothes, medicine, doctor visits and booster shots, emergency med bills, prenatal care (when you're pregnant), postnatal care (all of the babies check ups and yours).

All of that responsibility would fall to your parents, and that's not very fair. If you want a baby, then get an education first so you and you alone can afford your child. Don't leave the responsibility to your parents. What are you going to do if you have a baby and you mom decides to kick you out?

Part of the responsibility of having a child is having life experience to pass on to your child. You are still a kid yourself. Go out into the world and experience all that you can so that you will have more life lessons to teach your future children.

I know this isn't the answer you want, but I really, truly believe that if you have a baby now you will regret this decision for the rest of your life. I am not saying you would not love that baby, but I know you will wish you had waited.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009):

Answer the following:

1) Do you have any money to prepare for the baby?

2) Do you make enough money to sustain the needs and wants of the baby?

3) Do you have the knowledge in taking care of a baby?

4) Do you have a place where you can raise this baby?

5) How much consistent money do you think you will need to raise a baby?

6) How are you going to go to school and take care of the baby at the same time?

7) How do you expect a company to hire you if you have no formulated education, no skills, no experience?

8) Where are you going to raise it?

9) Are you aware of the amount of work it takes to raise one?

10) What do you see yourself doing 10 years from now?

11) What will you do if your baby is sick?

12) What will you do if your baby need regular check-ups?

13) What will you do if your baby keeps you awake all night?

14) What will you do if you're stressed because of all the sleepless nights, the lack of money, the lack of work, the copious amount of school work you have?

15) What will you do if you can't find work in this crappy economy?

Are you going to just hand your baby over to your parents and expect them to take care of it while you do whatever you want, and come back to it whenever you want?

Think about those for starters.

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