A
male
age
41-50,
*z707
writes:I'm a 25 y/o man in the army and currently deployed to Iraq for a year. I've been here for six months and my wife has told me she dosen't love me anymore. She said she feels that she needs space to be alone and on her own so she can be independent, self supporting, and to find herself as she says. She is only 20 years old and we were married this last september shortly before I left. She has told me that she dosen't think it's fair to judge how she feels till I get home, and now It's also 4 weeks till I go on my 2 week vaction home and she dosen't even want to wait to see me before she wants me gone. In the time I have been here she has tried to leave me twice before this but with in a couple days she e-mails me about how sorry she is and how she wants to be with me. Though I also discovered an e-mail to one of her friends where she was confessing her feelings for someone she met in a class but says those feelings passed and wrote it off as a crush, which I can understand with me being gone. I don't know what to think about this, if she is being sincere about wanting to be alone, or just giving me a load to shut me up while she goes and finds someone else. I need advice on what to do in a situation like this.
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male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (1 March 2009):
 It's very hard on our spouses, when deployed on Operations, if this is your first time apart it's going to be especially difficult and you will both have doubts, worries and insecurities.
The only thing I can suggest is that you speak to your welfare officer or Pardre about the situation, and talk to your wife while you are on R&R. Ask her to speak to the welfare officer back at your home base so he is aware of the situation. I have found that if there is a third party involved, a lot of misunderstandings can be resolved.
Don't give up all hope yet, I think most soldiers go through this, and it doesn't always end badly.
Have a safe tour, keep your head down and chin up!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): I think it's more than obvious you two rushed into a marriage before thinking about it like mature adults. You get married right before you leave, it sounds like the same old crap that many Soldiers and their sweet hearts do (no offense).
This happens way too often. You two need to have a serious talk. She's obviously questioning your relationship. I think she is too immature to handle a marriage especially with her husband deployed. That is not healthy at all.
If she can't decide what she wants, I wouldn't trust her to be faithful. I'd say leave her and try to find a more mature woman. But for God's sake, don't be an ass hole and just get a woman so you can have "easy pussy" to come home to after being deployed. Be a man.
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