A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is really weird for me to say or ask about so please bear with me. I'm 20 and have a boyfriend the same age, I've been with him for like 2 months. We never had sex and I told him I'm not ready, I'm a virgin he is not. We just make out, he always tries to put his hands down my panties and I always stop him and, push his hand though but that never worked he just keeps trying and trying. I never gave him a reason, until yesterday, I told him about something that happened in my childhood - regarding a perv in the street, no details needed to be known - and that it still affects me. He hugged me and all, then again tried it more saying I have to get over it by facing it or something like that. That was the first time I take my pants off. Usually we just took our shirts off, he took his undies off too while on top of me and I think he was trying to - get in me - , pushed my panties down again, told him not to and what not and then told him just stop. He did after the 5th time I said it or so.. Was that him just thinking it was ok with me or not even caring? Sorry for the blubbering if you didn't get something ask me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): i'm sorry but your guy is super horny & not that sensitive and you should not be taking your top off & your panties off unless you want sex - bad combination. you also have a HUGE communication gap which you have to bridge. keep control of him or bad things will happen.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): thanks all for ur replies .
the thing is when we are like justhanging out he is like normal ! funny and we talk about what is bothering him so it makes me feel like he does want a relationship not just a physical thing . or i could be wrong it is just when i look at him he doesnt strike me as that kind of person , he did once say i was weird and a hypocrite ... about him fingering me cause i believe it is ok but i wont et him do it , the thing is i believe nothing is wrong with ur boyfriend touching you it is just that me as a person is not ready ..
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 If you keep doing what you're doing you're going to get raped by this boy.
You have to either:
1 - Draw a clear line. Tell him what you are willing to do and the moment he goes over it, stand up, say 'thats not ok' and walk away. Don't hesitate for even a second. Don't touch him again for at least a few hours. He'll moan and try all sorts of things, don't fall for it. Be very clear, very firm, and completely consistent.
1 - Break off any sexual connection with him. It sounds like he might lack respect for you and your wishes, although from your post I couldn't say that for sure. It may be that to him you are giving mixed signals, and he is just horny. But if you try 1 above and it doesn't work, you need to consider breaking up, because otherwise he's very possibly eventually going to force you.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 Leave him, he obviously doesn't understand or respect you and all he is after is sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): Your BF is just horny. Guys that age need to express their love or lust physically. I think he was just in the zone of needing to be with you physically. Talk to him again when your shirt isn't off.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 Okay, this guy has a hearing problem. So you need to help him with that. "NO!" means no. I think it's possible he also has a compassion problem, in that he can't understand your point of view, he can only push forward. Some guys believe that it's up to the girl to say "Stop!"; that they don't have to bother controlling themselves. The girl will do it for them, is this type of guy's way of thinking. I expect that's the kind of guy you have here.
Personally, if you're not ready for sex, don't put yourself in a position with him where it becomes you fighting him off. I think I would back off being alone with him for the time being, and just tell him that you need more time to get to know him as a person.
My guess is that he's not going to be happy with this and will press for more. You are going to have to draw the line, firmly and with no room for doubt. "I AM NOT READY FOR THIS. I don't want you to put your hands in my panties, I don't want to have to fight you off each time, I don't want to have to stop you every time. I don't want you anywhere near my genitals. I AM NOT READY. I will let you know when I am ready. If you don't understand this, we will have to reconsider dating."
I predict he will dismiss this as you being coy and you will have to continue fighting him off. You might need to find a guy with better hearing.
Good luck.
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