A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is difficult for me to accept because I have always consider myself a hot person, very confident, and very comfortable with my physique, but in the past year my confidence level has gone done a notch. I'm married and I am sexual and I want sex a lot, but my husband now seems like he is no longer interested in me. I try to stay away from routine and I like to be spontaneous but recently his desire for me has dropped.I know his manhood is not the problem because as I'm getting and trying to get him in the mood his package goes up, but soon after he turns around and avoids me. I don't know if I'm doing anything wrong but he will not try to open up and talk to me, all he ever says is that I always want sex. I try to put two and two together but I can't figure it out, I work and I make good money so I can't see him financially stressed.He is in excellent shape and always goes to his routine check ups and everything is medically okay.I wish I knew I don't want to think it could be another women because that would give me a low blow to my ego. I don't want to think that my marriage has come to an end.I tried talking to him but he won't communicate with me, does anyone have any idea on how I can fix this situation.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I have two thoughts; 1. feelings of guilt(who knows why- it doesn't mean another women) 2.Low testostorone(see a doc if he will). Whateveryou do do not look at it as your problem- you probably did nothing wrong so chill. That guilt thing could be something as simple as" I'm a failure at work, I got passed over for that promotion,ergo how can I be worthy of such a beautiful wife?"It doesn't take much for our "manhood' to be questioned by our self. We(men) are pretty vulnerable to slly stuff like that example to kind of take us "down" so to speak. Good luck. R.
A
male
reader, bournedout +, writes (8 May 2010):
You should consider marriage counseling. There are likely other issues, as the other answers have pointed out. It does not mean you are not still attractive.
It may also be a sort of power play. Men are so used to being the ones led around by their hormones that when we find the woman wanting it more, we take advantage of it! No, it is not nice...not nice at all. But he may feel like his ego is under pressure (do you make more than him?) For all you know, he may have received some snide comment from a friend about you being the one who "wears the pants." A good counselor can tease this out of him.
When a man's ego is strong, his libido is strong.
I hope for your sake he is not cheating on you. I tend to doubt that, but I might just be naive.
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A
female
reader, _lola_  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 Hi!My opinion is emasculation!You say YOUR getting him in the mood and YOU'VE got a good job! What about him? Now don't get me wrong I'm all for ladies on top but maybe if you gave him a chance to come to you, give him a chance to assert his machismo, maybe you'd be running as sweet as a nut! While us ladies like to be seduced in other ways then getting our arses tweaked and asked "if we fancy a go" I'm pretty sure even the softest lad going wants to throw his macho weight around at some stage! I say leave the bold thing alone for awhile, bang on a pretty dress and ask him to open a few jars!best of luck xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is not a computer geek and the only thing he does on the computer is harvest his farm, this online game he plays. I don't think he knows how to remove the cookies, and I'm a little more computer literate than him, so I don't think he would use our computer for anything bad, since he knows I would probably catch him.
Most of the time he is home when I'm home, we go together, and if he was to cheating on me it would have to be when he is in the office. I have met most of his co-workers and they are so lovely, I just don't know.
I want to have a communication with him and his response to me all the time is you just want to have sex, I don't have the energy, If I give him a break from sex, his behavior still doesn't change he will just avoids me.
I just don't know but thank you for your advise.
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A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 Well, I can't help but agree with the first 2 posts here. And to be honest, your post reminds me too of the pain. Based on my experience, my relationship with my bf started to become problematic when a change such as yours started existing. My bf would just turn his back after sex and at first I thought that was just his position of sleeping. After a month of doing this, I just checked what he was doing while his back was turned and I saw he was secretly texting. Turns out he was cheating on me. Now, he is my ex.I am not saying that for sure your husband is cheating on you but he COULD be. You need to gather more evidence but don't be too obsessed about it. Just be vigilant to his actions and don't accuse him or it will worsen the situation. The best thing would be for you to prepare yourself in case you learn about a third party. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): He is definitely attracted to someone else.check your browser history.Install a keylogger.Most of them can be caught out on the computer.Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): This is difficult being, I dont know him or you, the way you interact daily, nor if this is a "new" issue.
If this behaviour has been in your past, ie: going on for years .. then you have accepted it, and he sees nothing wrong with it. If this is new behaviour ie: this started about a month ago, but before we would have sex daily ... then there is obviously an issue. Im going to advise you based on the ie: 2. This is new behaviour and you dont know why. As I read your post, I was like ... hmmm... theres someone else. But there may not be .. but there definelty is something on his mind that is distracting him from you. To ease your mind, I would ( because you said you are finacialy OK ) hire a private eye, and have him followed, if there is no other woman .. and the PI will find something quite quickly .. then his issue is going to be deeply personal .. you will have to wait for him to feel comfortable about talking to you. Now on the other hand, you are only human too , and desire your husband .. you need to express this to him .. but do it with kid gloves, as no one knows what is behind this change, and you dont want to come across selfish in his time of need.
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