A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend wants me to try new things involving foreplay. He doesn't want to have to tell me what to do because he gets the feeling like he is training me and that is just wrong. I'm fairly inexperienced and I don't know much about what stimulates guys. We do basic foreplay but he wants me to mix it up a bit. Anyone have any ideas that could help me?
View related questions:
foreplay Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): He's missing the point... the most important thing we can do for a lover is to tell them how to pleasure us! Sharing is vital. Now, if he's saying that a major turn on is for you to be more proactive and daring then that's OK...
Learn to be more vocal, talk frank (dirty!), ask to be taken... learn to drive him crazy... show yourself off, tease him, stroke him lightly... w/o grabbing him (no friction) till he begs to he jacked off. Play with yourself in front of him and don't let him touch you...
Learn to go down on him... use your breath... soft cloth... feathers on his cock. Read him dirty stories (Literotic.com)...
A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Just be inventive. Instead of asking what to do, just do something, and ask or see if he likes it. It sounds to me like he just wants you to be comfortable. Mix it up your way. There is no script, and anyone who tells you to rent porn for the script has the wrong idea -
Best, KAma
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Talk to him about this next time you are about to be intimate. Tell him that him telling you what he likes is not him teaching you. It is you getting to know more about him. Intimacy is never a text book experience. It is personal. What you learn about him is personal between the two of you, and an intimate experience. Not a class-room experience.
I understand your boyfriend though, it feels awkward to have to tell what you want and like. He probably feels turned off by having to tell you, and maybe his own sexuality is embarrassing to him. Some people just don't like talking when being intimate, as they feel it ruins it. Talking can sometimes turn a romantic setting into a scientific setting. Which is not romantic in any way.
Therefor, if you can, try to talk to him about this and hopefully he can embrace talking and communication as a part of the intimate experience as well. For example you could lay fully clothed and just talk about things, and create a closeness that way. If he absolutely do not want to talk, experiment and listen to the sounds me makes. Watch his body language. That is also a good way to learn. Let your hands go exploring.
...............................
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (30 June 2010):
Yea or rent some porn movies! hey watch them together.
...............................
A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (29 June 2010):
Hi,
Have you talked to your friends about this..they may have some ideas.
Different guys like different things that turns them on.
You could always buy/hire love making dvds and see what works or alternatively do you guys watch porn together? You could always ask him what he likes if you do.
Good luck!! and remember be safe and enjoy!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not that he is uncaring, he just wants me to make more of an initiative like him. He does a lot and tries new things for me, but I am not very imaginative and I can't seem to find any useful info. Thats why I am asking for some help. Some ideas or links to ideas would be great.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 If you can, get a copy of the Kama Sutra or read abut Tantric sex via the internet..you'll get a lesson on pleasure.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): Your boyfriend doesn't sound very caring if he's demanding something from you that he knows you have little experience in and refuses to help you. He should be more sympathetic to your position because the way he's going about it now is only going to make you feel insecure when the problem isn't you at all. Maybe he doesn't realize what he's doing is only going to make you less willing to try new things.
Try turning it into a sexy game and see if he bites. Tell him it turns you on when he shows you what to do. Or experiment and tell him to let you know when you've hit the right spot. Then you can switch it up and reverse the roles so that's he's experiemting or you're the one in control showing him where to go. It'll bring you closer and make you both more confident while you learn new things about eachother. Remember that every man and woman is different in what feels good and turns them on and that noone can help you understand his desires better than him.
...............................
|
