A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last night my partner really made me feel like a terrible person.We have had a lot of stress since we moved back in together, his son, money, lack of job (on his part) his mother being an alcoholic, my own chronic illness. He has seemed to just get on with it, whereas it has brought me down and made me miserable as after a month of living together again (we lived together before and he ended it) i feel like our relationship is under hurrendous strain. I also feel like im the only one who feels it cos although he says he does he just sits in front of his computer playing games all day, and smokes a lot of weed.I don't smoke it, i tend to when im not working not do a lot as money is tight, if there is a new bill in i stress a little but doesn't anyone whos on low income??? I am trying my best to support us both, and better myself by finding a graduate job (i have just finished my degree) whereas he doesnt really appear to be doing much about his situation.he said I am miserable, self loathing and it brings him down, and repeatedly says that any problems in our relationship are my fault, as he doesnt do anything to put our relationship under strain! I am to blame for everything... so I asked him why the hell he was still with me in that case, and it was because we are good sometimes (im sure he may as well have said because YOU are).It's him criticising so much thats making me miserable I am emotional and depressed sometimes but im trying my best to cope with a difficult situation without much support. what should I do?
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female
reader, karen1989 +, writes (4 July 2010):
 sounds a bit like hes living off of you to be honest, don't let him! if hes not prepared to get a job (or even try) kick him to the curb. you sound like a strong person don't let him bring you down. good luck x
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 July 2010):
 If you haven't considered divorce maybe you might think it over. You must take care of yourself first then consider others. it soundslike you're on the brink of a breakdown and need rest. Your situation as you describe it appearsto be in a downward spiral. at least seek proffesional help ASAP.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): U are strong and confident, don't let that lowlife feed off of u, draining your energies. U can do so much better, treat yourself to what u deserve. Dump his sorry ass on the curb and don't look back. Wish u all the best of luck! :)
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A
male
reader, RyanS +, writes (1 July 2010):
 "he just sits in front of his computer playing games all day, and smokes a lot of weed."In my life experience, its not possible to correct people who don't want a better future and people who are lazy. You seem like a careful and hard working person. Is it possible to leave him and find a better guy? There are loads better guys available for a young woman like you. Just exit the scene.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 July 2010):
I'd just leave him. You've just done a degree, and you're searching for a job. This is your moment to get away form the man who is dragging you down. It's not the other way around here. He's blaming you for everything. Well, sorry, but he's placed himself where he is. You'll end up paying for him and his son, while he does little with his life ad continues to blame you for his own mistakes and choices. This is not something you need in your life, especially now that you have the chance to get away for yourself. Just leave him.
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