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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I can't orgasm. Plain and simple. We've tried everything.Oral, intercourse, fingering, vibrators, lube, anal. He even bought the mother of all vibrators. The stupid thing wouldn't go in. I was wet ready to go. So we poured a ton of lube on it. Still couldn't get the freaking huge vibrator to go in.I need suggestion.How can he make me orgasm? At this point (after a year of trying things) he's annoyed and so am I. Help It's like anything that can go wrong does. I get close and either the phone rings or a neighbor yells loudly. He buys a massive vibrator that the girl at the store told us will definately work (in detail.. her favorite) and I start my period the next day. Everything we try either doesn't work or gets interupted. I want details of how to make someone orgasm.
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fingering, orgasm, period, vibrator Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the great advice. My boyfriend and I have both read all the answers to this post and hopefully it'll happen. Thanks again.
A
female
reader, Emjo  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 When the tingly feeling comes try getting him to tap your clit lightly rather than rubbing it, sometimes that coaxes the orgasm out and makes it last a little longer x
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Re: Masturbation, "It feels good but I dislike it." Please expand on this a bit. Honestly, if you can't give yourself one there's no way in Hades that he's going to be able to do it for you. That's the crux of it. And Q is right, this isn't a military campaign, this is meant to be mutually pleasurable. Jamming a vibrator into a scared and upset woman in anger and frustration is 100% guaranteed to prevent orgasms.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): Tried anticipation? Like getting him to really tease you till you want him so badly??
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): neither was i until i went months without an 'O.' q is right...forget the o, and enjoy making love, if it happens ok, but if it doesnt enjoy it anyway. Enjoy the closeness, the touch, skin on skin, kissing, stroking his face, his smell. Forget the O! Take the pressure off. You two arent having fun. And when sex isnt fun, its hard work. So stop with the sex, and get back to making love. Its a mental thing, and your mind will help you thru this. If you spend the whole time thinking, Oh no, is it gonna happen, it wont. But if you spend the whole time thinking about how much you love him, and how good it feels, then it might. And if it dont you still had a great time. And between you and me...your bf getting mad is totally inappropriate. Mal
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionQ- lol I'm not jumping up in down like a porn-o. I don't jump at all it's the movement of sliding towards and away from him, if that made sense. We’ll try your position you recommended.
MarriedLady- Truthfully I'm not into masturbation, at all. I never have been. I've tried vibrators myself and if I'm alone, yeah it feels good but I dislike it. If he's in the room and it's him using the vibrator it feel good, just can't orgasm. He is “doing it for me” I just can't finish it. My whole body will tingle like it's asleep and the pressure builds and builds until …nothing. I either can’t stand him touching me anymore or it just fades away.
I think this is really begining to affect our relationship. He’s spending all this money buying me things that just don’t work and I can’t help it. Yes there is a ton of pressure, there has been for a long time now. I don’t know how to make the pressure go away. I feel like it’s my fault that I can’t orgasm and I’m really afraid he’ll just get fed up with it. Last time we tried to do anything I couldn’t get the stupid vibrator to go in and after trying repeatedly to make it fit he got frustrated and just left the room. I’m very very upset over this issue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): thats a lot of pressure to put on yourself...knowing he is going to be mad if you dont reach orgasm would make it nearly impossible to reach. as the queen of the non masturbators...i suggest that you buy a medium sized vibrator. dont give us that "its boring when i think of what he can do"...he isnt doing it. I was having this same problem, broke down and got a vibrator with a little help from my best girlfriend who was braver than me, lol...and literally spent hours trying to figure out what worked. It was well worth the time spent, learning to relax, learning what works, its the best thing i could have done. mal
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionQ thanks for the advice. I've tried that before and it did work really well until I bent his penis in half and it came out with him yelling.
I like that position but I'm afraid to move to much or he'll come out. It's happened a few times, only once with the yelling. Is there a way to keep him in better? I don't think I'm moving That much but it still happens.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEverything that was suggested has been tried. Masturbation, vibrators, clit, erotic stories. We've tried every position imaginable, we have a book. I'm not that into masturbation really, it's just beyond boring when I know what he can do to me instead. You all are right that I'm very stressed out. He's very stressed and angry also.
I'm starting to worry that it might be an emotional issue that I can't orgasm. He said that when he cums he is thinking of me and all we've done together, non-sexually. Where as I literally can't think about anything. Am I supposed to be thinking about him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): Use a vibrator on your clit. Also if you want him to be ableto do it tingly then I'm quite sure you need to be able to do it yourself first
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): From your post it comes across clear that you are stressed and frustrated and probably putting a lot of pressure on yourself and your body to orgasm. Nothing is going to happen that way, the female orgasm is a very complicated thing. It starts in the brain long before your body is ever involved. If you are constantly stressed and frustrated and worrying about making yourself orgasm and trying to make it happen then it's not going to. You need to relax first of all and just enjoy the whole experience, whether it's your hands or his hands, his mouth, whatever sensations you are feelings. Try to take as many distractions out as you can, shut off all phones, maybe even the tv, get some music playing maybe even loud enough that you can't hear anything outside, lock the doors, light some candles or dim the lights and just spend a few hours with yourself or with him and do everything but try to have an orgasm. If you don't masturbate I suggest you start because YOU need to know what touches and strokes your body needs to get you off, then once you can get yourself off show him what you did. It's not something that happens right away it can take a long time. But it all has to start by getting your head in the right place, if you're thinking of other things it won't happen. Maybe try reading a naughty story there are lots of erotic stories online and girls are usually more intellectual than visual so this is our form of porn most of the time.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 July 2010):
 Relax young lady, If readingthe Karma Sutra alone and using your own hans won't work then he certainly can't help you. I know most women don't like porn but you might be one of the few that do so lube up and watch some porn. good Luck. R.
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male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (2 July 2010):
Hi,
It sounds like you need to relax....perhaps you can go away for a w/e?...maybe a change of scenery will help.
Instead if trying to irgasm...try to enjoy yr love making..and things will happen. If you are stressed out and egar to orgasm...this could effect him.
I guess you know bout the 2 diff types of orgasm a woman can have right?
Have you tried doggy sytle?..this is easier for him to try to hit yr G-spot..and he will have greater penetration.
Good Luck and try to relax
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 July 2010):
Your clitoris has been stimulated, or has all the focus been on the inside of your vagina?
You probably are now so stressed about this that your brain is causing the problem. Remember that your clitoris is the seat of your sexual pleasure, not the inside of your vagina. Take the focus of intercourse as the be all and end all of your sexual encounters.
I'd also suggest that you take him out of the equation and do some solo work with a small vibrator applied to the clitoral area and some good muscle tone in your thighs, buttocks and pelvis. Put in some ear plugs, unplug the phone, close all the windows and just relax and explore yourself with no end goal. Once you figure it out, then you can show him how you did it.
Your orgasm isn't actually his to give you, it's yours to learn how to give yourself. Maybe think of it that way and that will help you both.
Good luck.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/cant-orgasm-heres-help-for-women
http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
http://men.webmd.com/guide/sex-fact-fiction
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