A
female
age
,
*art broken
writes:My husband of 50 resently got this sick mind of watching the music DVD of "Cameltoe" over and over everytime im at work. On our pc at home i found on the history that he was watching it just after he woke up (he was working nigh shift)at 10H25 and then 4x after, I never knew about this Cameltoe, he always say something about cameltoe, and when i do ask him where he got that name from and what it is he told me that it is and old name for a woman's "parra". but i never hear him say that cameltoe word, till i found the music video on our pc. since that day im so disapointed in him, and sex is like a nightmare, i constantly think that he is thinking of that girls showing of the wet cameltoe's and i feel very sad and heartbroken that my husband is a sick minded man, it is always young girls and he even try to say im lying about my finding on the pc so i show him the copy i made of it and all time time he is spending watching this nonsense. I feel realy betrayed, and dont know what to do wih this man. I dont mind watching porno with him, but why did he throw all the porno we had away, and then watching it like a skelm at home why im at word. What is going on with him. Please help im falling apart
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male
reader, twinlab99  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 That's disgusting, I can't believe he would do that! Repulsive!! I'm at a loss for words!!!
What was the name of the website that video was on again?
A
female
reader, eu4ia365 +, writes (30 June 2010):
This is definately a tough one. I too am dealing with the same thing. My husband tells me it is his business and that it has nothing to do with me. We still have sex but I feel that he has learned to look at women as only a means of gratification from watching the porn. He does not put forth an effort into seeking sex from me because he knows he has something right there at his fingertips to satisfy him if I don't. He hides it he lies. I now how much you are hurting right now but it is damn near impossible for men to understand why this hurts us. I sought counseling and have done soooooo much reading on the internet about this issue. It seems that some women don't care, some men will actually speak up and say it is wrong. Well, here is my best advice....he is hiding it because he knows you will get mad. As a partner you feel your feelings need to be acknowledged and respected. Why doesn't he just stop???? It seems that easy doesn't it. Do your homework about how porn stimulates the brain and why they keep going back for more even when they try to stop themselves. Tell your husband matter of factly how you feel without emotion or being angry. Tell him what you would like him to do. If he loves you he will compromise. Maybe you should ask him if he could only do it x times per week after you have turned down sex, and yada yada. If you are anything like me....masterbation is fine....porn is not! It is not healthy for a relationship if it is causing the other partner feelings of pain. He wants to watch it without you because you may not (and you don't)approve of what he is looking at. Men also like the fact that they can sneak around and do something without you knowing. It is like cheating without cheating. They have all these other women to gratify their sexual fantasies while you are left feeling inadequate, frustrated, angry, hurt, disgusted, and all these things will cause MANY problems in your relationship. I have tried for 3 years to get my husband to understand with no avail. Bottom line, if he doesn't see anything wrong with it and does not want to stop because he knows you are hurting, then you are in a very tough situation. Please convince yourself it has nothing to do with you or the relationship you two have. They look at it as two different things. Hope this helps
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 You might have to face facts , porn is here to stay even if there was no computer porn; The most powerful form of porn is in the brain...and you;ll never be able to control what a man thinks although most women want to have that control(in my experience anyway) either go with the flow or wonder what the heck his fantasy really is.
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A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Well - very harsh answer from a man there - but in the basics what he is saying is probably fair, but you are obviously shocked and insecure by this. Sooooo I would say, he is feeling guilty about doing this stuff and thats why he wants to watch in private, also some men get more of a kick if they think they are hiding something from their woman - its their little guilty pleasure. I know to us girls, who don't always have the same need for the same amount of this stuff, it can seem a little strange and make you feel you'r enot enough, but its nothing to do with you really. I know men who are married you young, beautiful wives, and they stil do the same thing. So don't take it personally, try to be more relaxed about it - unless you think its an addiction, and then maybe he does have a problem - but if its not then you can't change him, and better its out in the open and shared or to hell with it all, accept or reject I guess. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Pull yourself together woman, it is exactly your response which causes him to watch porn in private. It's what every guy and a lot of women do - watch porn. Get used to it, grow up, be mature and stop acting like a naive virgin teenager. It's only porn - fantasy, not reality. It's you he's with, not those girls, they are just curiosity value for him.
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