A
female
age
26-29,
*hels123
writes: hi, i am chelsea... well i went to my friends house and i met her cousin jake. we had been talking for the past month on myspace but we really hadnt met. he seemed very sweet and he used to txt me everyday first. well we talked about the day i was gonna go over to his house because i am very good friends with his cousin and when i got there, i met him and we hung out downstairs in his room and he was my first kiss and we started making out then french kissed and then he wanted to go into his bedroom but i was scared because i was a virgin but i really wanted him to like me..he told me we could have a friends with benifits relationship and i didnt know what it meant but i went along. we went half way but i just couldnt do it. he doesnt txt me anymre first but i stil am very in love with this boy, how do i get him to like me and want to have a realtionship with me...help i need advice!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): Well first, it sounds like he is one of those, "if you dont put out then i dont want anything to do with you" kind of boys. Beleive me, i have been in your situation. Im 15. And losing my virginity was the worst mistake that i could have made. because first, the boys sometimes dont like using condoms, which is how i got pregnant. And second, you may think that you want to lose it to be cool or whatever. but abstinence is the coolest thing you can do . i have had experience and i am trying the best i can to teach yougn girls to think first. Not having sex with this boy is the smartest choice you made. I undertand you may be in love with him, but if he is going to treat you that way, then he doesnt deserve yyou. You need to find someone who wants to be with you , for you. and not care if you are a virgin or wont have sex with them. Im always here if yah wanna talk.
A
female
reader, chels123 +, writes (26 June 2010):
chels123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question to Ampersand, i love your advice,thats the kinda advice i wanted. u have really helped me understand and have confidence in myself. thank you so much
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): Better advice? You got some pretty good advice from everyone below. As far as how to deal with juvenile behaviour you encounter in high school... well sorry but you are just going to have to grin and bear it. If you turn it into a joke back on yourself and make fun of your self first then you take away their ammo. If the immature self centered school yard imbeciles in high school see that they are getting under your skin, then they will be relentless. If you put on a front that shows you can take it and it "ain't no big thaaang" then eventually it will blow over.
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A
female
reader, chels123 +, writes (25 June 2010):
chels123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i want better advice because your not the one who gets made fun at school and stuff for making this stupid mistake,all i wanted was someone to love me and guess what,i screwed up,i just wanna know how to make everything all better again. can i not get advice on that!
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A
female
reader, kitty-cat=] +, writes (25 June 2010):
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png) first of all i know you think your in love, but your not. i know thats not at all what you want to hear but its true. you think i don't understand and i don't know how you feel about him. you can't see yourself with anyone else and he is your one true love. hes not. your infatuated by him. you barely know him and if he said he wants a friends with benefits relationship, that means he wants to have sex without having to call you his girlfriend. this is a game to him. he isn't thinking of love at all, he just wants sex. i know this is hard but be very picky with the guys you date, don't settle and don't fall for anyone too fast. you'll just end up hurt.hope this helps :)
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 Friends with benefits means that he gets to have sex with you when he wants, but gets to ignore you the rest of the time.
This is going to be really horrible for you.
There's nothing you can do to make him love you. He may pretend to to get sex. But that's it.
But... it sounds like you don't want to hear that. Perhaps you'll be back here soon asking for help on how to get over being dumped having just being used for sex?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): ha! you dont need better advice, you just want different advice!! you want us to say something that makes everything better but we said what needs to be said so take it or leave it! I dont mean to be harsh but...
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A
female
reader, chels123 +, writes (25 June 2010):
chels123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u all but i need better advice
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): Keep listening to your instincts. If having sex with that guy didn't feel right deep down to your soul, then he was not the guy. He wanted to use you for sex. You came across as needy and he preyed on your vulnerability.You are experiencing puppy love. Its a new guy, you kissed, and got all melty and crap. It will pass.Forget about him and move on. Do not chase him like a slut. You are better than that.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Dear Ms Chelsea, Be glad very glad you're still a virgin. You only have that once and it should be cherished until the wedding night. Here's why from a guy's perspective; If he realizes on that first night that you've been with another man he will forever wonder if he is better than or worse than the other guy. We are just that insecure and there's no getting around it. So be happy that it didn't "work out' and thank your lucky stars it went the way it did. You are on the learning curve. Stay alert and life will give you much joy. R
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Sorry, but the reason he has stopped texting you is because he was only in it for sex. He made that very clear when he talked about being friends with benefits - even if you didn't realize at the time what he meant.
Also, you're very young to be getting into a sexual situation with any boy. Don't know how old he is, but if you had had sex with him, he could have gotten into trouble for having sex with a minor. Besides, when you do have sex for the first time, you certainly don't want it to be with someone like him!
You should really try and give up any thought of being in love with him, and trying to get him to like you. He isn't worth it.
Better to wait a few years (don't know your age) until you meet a boy who will like and value you for who you are, not just see you as a sex object........
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