A
female
age
30-35,
*uddlybear
writes:this morning my boyfriend told me he doesnt really feel much when we have sex, he hardly holds an erection as it is but when its hard its like a rock.. he told me the penetration feels weird and i dont think thats a good thing? hes never been able to cum during sex but easily does multiple times during oral or masturbation. He says he thinks its because ive had a baby a year ago, but ive never had any problems like this with my previous boyfriend (babys dad)he loved our sex and his penis was smaller? surly he'd be able to feel it?! help!
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 It's not you, he's got a sensation problem. Thes guys that tend to seek alternative answers to their problem just slay me. making love to a woman has little or nothing to do with their "tightness" or "loosness". The goal is to provide her with pleasure not the other way around. His focus should be to make you have the best orgasm possible.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 Maybe he should loosen his grip on his penis when he masturbates. He might be over-stimulating himself resulting in less sensitivity.
You have also had a baby too. I can suggest looking up kegel excercises online. They help to tighten your muscles down there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): Your guy has a problem in manintaining an erection. Sadly it happens. But he should not be blaming you. That is mean. Millions of women have babies all over the world and go on to have enjoyable sexual relations with their partner before and after the birth of baby.
Your Guy has a problem
Be kind to him.
But he may need some therapy to help him maintain an erection and continue to enjoy sex. It must be seriously upsetting to him.
It's not you. It's him.
Suggest that he consider searching for a suitable therapist for himself. Maybe even interview several before he makes his choice. I would suggest a male therapist. A man might better understand how horrible it feels to your guy to not be able to maintain an erection and complete the lovemaking for the mutual satisfaction of both of you.
www.Therapytribe.com
In the interim take the pressure off him and concentrate on other foreplay options that don't require him to try, and fail, again, to maintain an erection.
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