A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 18 and im seeing a 27 yr. old, i lied to him about my age and said i was 20, but were really starting to click and hes going to ask me to be his girlfriend soon because hes REALLY into me. I want to tell him before we get any more serious because i do like him alot, and im not sure if hes going to be okay with that, or not want to date at all. My biggest issue is not that hes uneasy with the age diffetence, but the fact i lied in the first place, i dont know if he will trust me anymore. what do i do!! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 December 2012):
 :) Glad to hear he wasn't too upset about your age, and now you can have an honest relationship with one another.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOur relationship Is doing well!! We just recently celebrated our 1 year anniversary
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo i told him, he asked why, i provided the truthful explanation, he said thank you for telling him, and that hes going to call me after work. I dont think he took it too bad, but im not sure what hes going to say when he calls me, but i am assured that, its still a great possiblity were still going to date, but i will still have to prove myself even more than before, but id rather have to do that then loose him for good. I also included in the message " i understand if your not willing to continue seeing each other and/or if you hate me and dont want to talk at all, but if you arent too upset i would still like to be friends with u if nothing more"
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): I actually had a very similar situation. I lied to my boyfriend when we first met when we were in high school and said I was 16 when I was 14 because he was older and I figured he was just some guy that was talking to me and no big deal but then we started talking more and more and eventually began dating and we were together for over a year before I came clean. It was super hard because like you said he was uneasy about the age difference stuff and so was his family, but it was nearing my birthday and I couldn't lie any longer so I just came out and explained that I never thought we would make it that far in the first place and that ages were just numbers to me and I was still the same person and he was pretty mad at me but he forgave me and we got through it. I hope things work out for you and your man. Goodluck and just try explaining it the best you can and as corny as is sounds I texted my explanation because there was no way I could in person, so if your nervous maybe try doing that or an email.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 November 2011):
 You are right, you must tell him right away. and tell him the truth that you were afraid your age would put him off. You may have a lot of making up to do and you may have trust issues after this so be prepared in case he takes it badly.. I know my boyfriend would... but it's something he would forgive eventually.Tell him the truth and learn from this. LIES are never good.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Now you tell the truth and hope for the best
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 If he's uneasy about the age difference, then he wont display confidence in the relationship. Shame on you for lying. Honesty is key to any successful friendship or intimate relationship. The fact, you, yourself lied, isnt right. Now, come clean and tell him how you will become more honest. AND then show him action that you can be truthful. Talk and BS is one thing, putting that talk into action is another be it in my weight room... or in the bedroom.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (17 November 2011):
You definitely can't go into a relationship lying to him, now can you? Better to tell him sooner than later, one way or the other he is bound to find out. So if he thinks the age difference is too much, what can you do? You are your age, nothing to do about it, no matter how much you lie about it. Maybe lying about it is what shows immaturity in this case. So be honest and act mature instead, then who knows. Maybe he will get over it, just give him time to think things through and tell him in a proper manner before anyone else tells him! Then apologize profusely!
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 November 2011):
You do have to tell him. And there really is nothing you can do about his reaction. Hopefully he won't take it too badly, but there is no doubt that he'll be knocked because of this.
Please learn a really important lesson - don't lie about something like this. Now you have to tell him (you can't lie forever), and this may damage what you two have.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Well you have to tell him as soon as you can, carrying on lying for longer is only going to make things worse.
You shouldnt have lied in the first place, so you have to accept now that you might lose him because of this - if you are able to lie so early into the relationship he is going to wonder what else you lie about.
There is no other option, you cant lie to him forever so you are simply going to have to come clean and hope that he understands. But also be prepared that he might not want to see you anymore, dont expect him to be ok with this.
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
|
