A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am worried my boyfriend is going to get tired of waiting to have sex. We are both 16. Both capricorns ;) . I love him n he says he loves me but i know how fast feelings can change so far we have been together for 2 months but we have known eachother a while....he doesnt want to have sex now but he talks about doing it in our 12th grade yr and currently we are in 11th. I just need some advice becuz i feel i wont be ready by then Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2011): obviously your having second thoughts right ? otherwise you wouldent be writting this.. Say NO and if you get dumped or wateva then he aint worth it make him love you for what you want xx
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 The best laid plans "of mice and men" oh what a dude he must be...yeah,yeah all guys have their plans...I did too (what a joke!) Your plan should be...(at the risk of sounding like your dad or grand dad)...Your plan should be to have your FIRST sex on your wedding night(I know,old fashioned right?) In about 10 years though you will think back and say,'You know, that old dude was right". Now see if i was one of those guys that believed we all(men) have to stick together on this geting it on with the chicks, then I'd be sayin' you go girl! do it sooner rather than later BUT, I'm keeping it true to the best thing for YOU!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): You are lucky he's not rushing you into it. He's actually giving you a lot of time to consider and be ready. You may be ready by then or you may not. When the time comes, its up to you to decide...He seems very considerate, patient, and self-controlled to wait that long. It means he really cares about you if he is the one that wants to wait. Usually, girls have to force guys to wait to keep them around and make sure they aren't just only after their body. There is absolutely nothing for you to be worried about. Just enjoy your time with him and when it happens it happens. When that time comes and you aren't ready, just say no. He seems understanding about your feelings. Its not like he said " WE WILL DO IT " that day. From how you described him, he probably just made that a tentative date.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Tell him that he can plan all he wants - you will be ready, when you are ready.
Do feel you HAVE to have sex because he's mapped it all out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): don't let him push you into sex , you will regret it latter.he is looking out for him self if he is pushing you into having sex and you know your not ready.
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A
female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Good advice from chi-girlI will just add, that you have sex when YOU'RE ready, don't give him false expectations, just tell him honestly how you feel and that maybe in a year your be ready to think and consider it (although you may be ready sooner or it may take longer) but at the moment your just not ready. Any nice boy (or a boy worthwhile giving your precious virginity to) will wait, and take your feelings and thoughts into consideration and want to make you happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 When the time approaches just talk to him about it if you aren't ready. He can't, and shouldn't, force you to have sex. On the other hand you need to speak up and tell him that yes, sex will not happen at least until after this grade year is done, but that after that is the time when you will start to CONSIDER having sex. You can not make him any promises, and it might be that you aren't ready then. But that in 12 grade, you will at least start to think about it, and who knows, maybe you'll feel ready.
You've just been together 2 months, who knows where you are in a year. Maybe you'll have grown closer, maybe you'll break up next month. No one knows. So for now it's a bit early to say you wont be ready by then, or that you will be ready. Just tell him you'll take it as it comes and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Ok it's November of 11th grade... you have a year before this might even happen.... I hate to say this but you guys might not even be together by then...
AND if you have NOT told him you are not ready to discuss having sexual relations with him, then you need to tell him this.
You must tell him you can't plan that far ahead and will be happy to DISCUSS it later on but for now it's off the table.
do not be forced to do something you do not want.
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