A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A close friend of mine which I have known for the past 3 years, and I have hooked up 4 times in the last 7 months. I'm not sure if it's a FWB relationship... we don't booty call each other (which is what I've read that FWB do), or have long chat/text conversations... or anything of that sort. Usually we see each other every day at college. When we have hooked up its been because we've been alone together and it's just sort of happened... (neither of us have ever been drunk on any of the occasions). When we go out with other friends or other people in general (or sometimes even in class, but not always), he's always very attentive towards me, in a way that causes me to be confused as to what he wants from me. For example, after saying hello to everyone in a group he'll go back to me and take my hand for the rest of the night; he might stop to greet someone but he'll always go back to where I'm standing; he'll engage me in different conversation topics than the majority of the group has going on; he'll caress the nape of my neck or my back; hug me, kiss my cheek...Is this a traditional FWB relationship? He's always been an affectionate guy (always been a major hugger with everyone) but lately his attitude towards me is getting to the point that common friends are noticing and sometimes even commenting about it (in a jokingly manner they'll say things like, "when are you two going to do it?" "What did you two do when you went to the bathroom together?" etc).I'd love some insight to try and clear my mind. Thanks!
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female
reader, ShiShisAdvice  +, writes (14 November 2011):
 First, you are a bit mixed up to think this is "normal". A relationship, even sexual, should not be "secret". You are DAMAGING yourself, and you don't even know it! Great if he wants you to be his girl and announce it to the world. And if he does not, close your legs today! It's not worth it. Heart can't survive when you see him walking down the aisle (marrying) with someone else, or even worse having a family and a little one that looks just like him. Make this relation official or delete him from your phone today. Don't say I didn't warn you. There was one guy that our relation was "secret", I begged him to at least have one child with me (I was late 30's) he kept saying oh no, too busy, don't want to get married etc., etc, I found a husband and had taken a job in a shop in an out of the way place, one day I look up in my line and there he is with a beautiful wife (with a big cross around her neck), and a beautiful tiny baby.If I wasn't newly married I am sure I would not have been here today as I was devastated. No such things as Friends With Benefits and if no one else has the courage to tell you, I will. Ain't no fun getting calls late at night and watching a man walk (creep) out the door before 6am. Now, you have a choice, later you won't.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 Okay, a REAL FWB relation is this. Two people that get along fairly well but are NOT in anyway in love choose to have sex together because finding someone for real is to much effort right now and they just need to get their itch scratched.
It is NOT about best friends or love but they do treat each other with respect.
A booty call is pure sex usually where one exchanges sex for something else even if that is just a sliver of attention. Booty calls are not about respect. For the woman it often means being a hooker without the pay or the right to see other men.
Anything else? Pretty often a woman who thinks she can trade sex for affection.
As for men being attentive being a sign of love... how many women would have sex with a man who abused them? Actually never mind.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 Im going to assume that F W B means friends with benifits? Since I'm not in the new generation of text-alot communication, I'm making a wild guess. And If that's the right term then hold your horses! Friends don't require benifits they seek understanding and supply support not "quickies" Secrets in the dark are for lovers not school buddies.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 Well FWB in genral terms is a friend that you either have sex, or sexual relations with and both of you know that you are just friends.
What you have seems like this, but if he is more afrectionate with you than anybody else, then it is possible that he has feelings for you too.
The only way to know for sure is to ask him, but before you do this make sure you know how you feel about him and what it is that you want.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (13 November 2011):
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