A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend wants me to live with him in his car. He hates his father and his mother kicked him out. He asked me to help him clean it out because of all the vodka bottles in the back seat. He chain smokes, so that will take some getting used to. He's such an idiot sometimes, but I love him. My father doesn't give a shit what I do, so I figure why the hell not? We've already figured out that we'll take showers in the locker rooms at school, and his friend's girlfriend makes him sandwiches sometimes.Is it wrong that I want to have sex with him in the car? Does anybody have any tips for that to make it easier? Also, I can't afford protection but really want to sleep with him. Are there other methods?
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female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (10 October 2009):
You're stupid for wanting to be with someone like that. You can do so much better, you're making a big mistake.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): If you can't afford protection you sure can't afford a baby. Enough said.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 October 2009):
 So... you are thinking about hooking up with a homeless alcoholic who nonetheless has money for cigarettes... and you got no money for the pill.
Your father does not care what you do. That is sad but irrelevant. Don't YOU care what is going to happen to you?
You can't keep pushing for mistakes and hope someone will step in and safe you at the last moment. It is one of the many things that ain't nice about adulthood, you are responsible for your own mistakes and their is no safety net anymore.
You can see what it has done to him, his own mother kicked him out because she got fed up with constantly having to deal with his mistakes. Maybe he will pull himself out, maybe he won't but you won't be helping him by getting involved. And in many ways, as a woman, you are far more vulnerable.
What are you going to do if you do get pregnant? Where will you shower over the weekend? What if you are on your period then? Septic shock ring a bell? There is a reason there are better facilities for homeless women then for men.
Going to be harsh kid, but live sucks and nobody gives a damn. So, by all means start living in his car, just don't expect anyone to stop you and send you to your bedroom without dessert. You are a grown woman and if you make a mistake, you will have to fix it. And this is about as big a mistake as you can make.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (10 October 2009):
 Please please please please please please please please please please please please please do not go through with this. (And if you read through the history of all the other questions I have answered on this website, I have never used the word "please" this many times in any of them, by far). Are you freaking kidding me????!!!! You are going to move into a car, a CAR (A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) with your chain-smoking, vodka-drinking, homeless boyfriend, who cannot get along with either of his parents?????? And you! You actually have a home that you could be living in and you are actually going to move out of that to put yourself into the exact same nasty, horrible, abject conditions that he feels he is forced to live in. So if your boyfriends life is going downhill, you're going to go downhill with him, to where then neither of you have a home??? To where both of you are in the same nasty situation! Why wouldn't you stay at home for just the simple reason that if you stayed at home, you would be able to be the one to give him the sandwiches instead of both of you having to rely on some third-party who is probably going to get sick of making sandwiches for the both of you really quickly? There is just absolutely no logic whatsoever to what you are wanting to do. And as for the sex, if you can't afford protection the only other method of birth control is abstinence. Yes, please do keep us posted. We don't want to see you go through with this. Once you are in that car, it is going to be a lot different than what you are imagining now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): HI
Okay, why do you want to screw your life? And you aren't some misguided teen but someone who should be applying for jobs and hunting for cheap apartments. Your father doesn't give a damn? so, what you plan on destroying your life for it? Look, get a job and get some respect and please leave this sometimes jerk, chain smoking guy. He is plain bad news and quite frankly, perhaps he needs to get a taste of the hard times so he will get the push needed to straighten up his life.
Seriously, hell no! Do not even think of entertaining such thoughts! There are plenty of better guys, I am sure you will meet one soon.
Love
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A
female
reader, Good Girl +, writes (10 October 2009):
 Please listen. Do not do anything with this guy! You have a home, however crappy it seems. This gut has nothing to offer you. If you care for him help him to find a real place to love, but do not move into his car. I was homeless for several years as a teenager. It is dangerous and not fun. Also if you do become pregnant, think about what kind of a father this guy will be. He is not in a very good psition too provide for a baby and you will probably fight a lot which is terrible for kids. If you must have sex with him use a condom every time the whole time.There is no better protection and they are free at Planned Parenthood and clinics. Look online for a clinic near you then go there and fill up a big bag of them so you don't run out. Dont let anyone give you any lame excuses why you shouldnt use a condom in any circumstance. If they try to get you to have sex without protection, get away as fast as you can. Think of your own survival and happiness. Its a harsh world out there and people love to say "I told you so" im telling you now. Life can be beautiful if you love yourself. If this guy had any respect for you at all he would never try to get you to live in the car. Please try to make clearheaded decisions that show that you love yourself. Then you can't go wrong. Please post an update. I am worried about you.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (10 October 2009):
 Sometimes we have to choose between what we want to do, and what is the right thing. It sounds like this is one of those situations.
What if you were to get pregnant? It's very likely that you would get pregnant from unprotected sex. That's completely unfair to a baby, to bring it into the world when you can't even provide for yourself? How are you gonna take care of a kid?
Having unprotected sex is highly dangerous and a VERY STUPID mistake. You have to live with the consequences once you make the mistake. It is SO not worth it.
Having sex feels good for 15 minutes, and then the consequences come. It's not worth screwing your life up for!!
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (10 October 2009):
Sometimes we have to choose between what we want to do, and what is the right thing. It sounds like this is one of those situations.
What if you were to get pregnant? It's very likely that you would get pregnant from unprotected sex. That's completely unfair to a baby, to bring it into the world when you can't even provide for yourself? How are you gonna take care of a kid?
Having unprotected sex is highly dangerous and a VERY STUPID mistake. You have to live with the consequences once you make the mistake. It is SO not worth it.
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A
female
reader, OmShantih  +, writes (10 October 2009):
 Ok sweetheart, firstly...this post screams that you are with this bloke because you crave your fathers love and attention!Please Please Please, do not live in this guy's car with him, It's insane! Yes be it romantic, liberating and exciting....for all of 3 hours!What will you do for money, food, clothes, laundry??I also strongly advise you dont sleep with this guy without contraception - I know its boring and everyong goes on about it, but it is so easy to catch all sorts of nasties and to get pregnant!I dont think deep down you want to do this, you know he needs help, with the vodka bottles and the smoking. YOU CAN NOT SAVE HIM!It will be a tough lesson to learn, but you can't save him sweetheart, he needs to sort himself out (for himself, by himself!) and you deserve better!!I know you'll do what you want anyway....but please reconsider this!Your welcome to private message me if you wish to talk about anything in private!Love and Light
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