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What steps should I take to find out if my boyfriend had sex with his ex?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *iss_jess writes:

how can i find out if my boyfriend had sex with his ex? One saturday me and him argued about some girls on his friends list online, he got mad and decided to ignore me all night. Three days later his ex arrives just to tell me that she spend the night and they had sex and etc. He denys ever having sex.

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A female reader, Miss_jess United States +, writes (13 August 2010):

Miss_jess is verified as being by the original poster of the question

ur totally right... I guess what i am trying to do is get a better understanding of y this always happens to me. I dont want to miss out on if this is it. But how did she know.. What kind of coincedense is that?? The girls on his friends list at least the ones i was asking bout werent on there b4 we hooked up... Idk if he requested them or vise versa... He says they were old requests that just went through then. N i was on his computer gonna check my myspace n fb so when i went to those sites he was already logged in and i got a glimpse of a few messages bk n forth with him n one girl n it was completely innocent she was asking him medical questions n stuff nothing bd but he did ask me not to check his meesages so i stopped... I guess im just trying to see if there is actually any guy out there that if they were in the same situation as him would they have fkd her or not???? Cuz its hard for me to believe that any guy wouldnt

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A female reader, Miss_jess United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

Miss_jess is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well the thing is apparently she did this to him b4 with another girl (tried to sabotage the relationship) he tells me she is doing this on purpose... And he finally had her text me n tell me nothing happend. But even after she did that she came right back a day or so later and said it did... I have a baby daddy too and i know how that works, except we have been apart for over 2 yrs so i wouldnt go bk to that for nothing..... He is really sweet to me does everything for me and he helps watch my kids so i can work and is really good to them... But this is just nagging me to death and im really lost... Anymore advice would also be great thanks...

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A male reader, Cloverfield United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2010):

Cloverfield agony auntI’m sorry, that doesn’t sound good. Like everyone else, I’m inclined to believe her. It would be an awful lot of effort on her part to do what she did purely to be malicious, especially given that you might have reacted in a volatile manner.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (11 August 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntI'd be inclined to believe his ex... it sounds like too much of a coincidence that you guys have a big fight and then she shows up out of the blue. If she made this all up to get him back then why wouldn't she have tried this stunt sooner?

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A female reader, wee_neko United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

They probably had sex. Why would he bother owning up to it? There's really nothing you can do short of asking the ex to produce a video of it. And you really don't want to see that I'm sure.

Also, if you were arguing about the girls on his friends list, chances are you already had some doubts, probably for good reason. Break something of his and move on, sounds like he doesn't consider your feelings enough anyways.

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A female reader, Jesc United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

Jesc agony auntPlease for give me if I seem rude. I'm really not trying too.

So it's his ex clamming that they had intercourse. You asked him he denied. The question is do you Trust him. I mean REALLY TRUST him. He could have had sex with this women, If he did then it's his loss. If he didn't but while ignoring you he probably needed someone to talk to over the net and let it all out. If he did she might have picked up on this opportunity.

If I was you I would just talk to them both. I would sit them both down and remain clam and watch how they react to the questions I ask. You know him better than any of us do so maybe you could pick up when he is lying or just hiding some of the truth. Good luck to you :)

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