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female
age
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anonymous
writes: How can I help my drug-addict son? He is addicted to cocaine, and I tried everything,but nothing worked. I'm confused, some people says stop doing anything ,because you ''slowing the process'' some says leave the door open,because when there is no one there ,they go even lower.What should I believe in?Also,some people says ,its really not your fault,others looking at me with judgment. I really can't see,I have done such a horrible thing to create this. But it is just a very confusing place to be. I dont know what to believe anymore.With blame, my family is worst. They say,I have no idea ,but something was definitely wrong.Im on the edge of a nerves breakdown ,to live in this pain of losing a great son to drugs,and getting kicked by others.What is your opinion on that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): I am sorry for what you are enduring...truely I am. I have experienced this, firsthand, and it's a horrible situation to endure. Firstly, you need to find ways to look after yourself. Watching one's child descend into the hell of addiction, really causes a monumental amount of stress on a family. And as Mothers, we absorb all the emotional fallout and it's difficult. My heart goes out to you.But you need to be strong to get through this, so the other Aunts give you sensible advice. Take care of yourself. Please get some further advisement and counseling to learn the coping skills, one needs to go through the pain. You can arrange for that through your family doctor. And remember, through the process of finding help for yourself, you will be told of support groups that are designed to help families cope. You are not alone and you need to connect with other families that are suffering through this same scenario, as you are. The reason I bring up the counseling and looking after yourself. This is important as there may be a heartwrenching thing you must do...do not enable him. I am not stating that you are doing this, but if you are..remember, most parents do that. There's such a fine line between being loving and expressing that to him and 'enabling'. When a loved one is addicted, they need a lot of things to get by in life, such as housing, cash, food, etc. You will need to say 'no' to him if he comes to you for these things. He needs to realize that his addiction is dangerous ans one must stop shielding an addict from the consequences of their behaviors. And remeber: "Enablers may have their own system of denial that is fed by the lies and deceptions addicts use to cover up their using." If your son is not a legal adult, there are many things you can do. An intervention is the route to go. Then he must be signed into a hospital that offers a detoxification program. Detox is not a cure, but it is the first important step in his recovery. He needs to withdraw. Then once he's through that he needs a Rehabilitation program. Here he will recieve the support, the education of dangerous drug use, the counseling and therapy. The best thing I suggest, is to talk to a trusted family doctor and they will steer you in the right direction. This will be a long process..so stay on course, learn. learn about the medical system and ask for help, support and stay on course.Good luck and keep us posted on how you do. I wish you well, take care, hun and stay strong.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): I wish ,I could lock him in,,, I wish.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (9 August 2010):
 He has to make the decision to quit himself. You say you've tried everything... what exactly have you tried?
All I know is that the company he keeps is what will always keep dragging him back into this lifestyle until he has the self-control to say no or not hang out with them anymore.
I've known many addicts... there is no real "get-out-of-jail-free" card for this problem that I know of other than them growing up.
I'm sure you'll get much better advice from a professional or perhaps an online drug help chat room with other parents seeking the same solution. Perhaps you should look around?
Best of luck
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Google these 2 terms please:
Why do people become addicted to drugs?
&
cocaine addiction treatment options
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (9 August 2010):
 I believe you need to seek professional advice. Not sure what country you are in, but there are a number of organisations to give advice and information. In the UK there is the FRANK website. If your son is an adult, then the onus is on him to want to quit.
You need to deal with your own demons first...and quickly, seek some counselling and guidance to get yourself back on a reasonable footing so that you can be stable and helpful if your son come to you for help.
You cannot force your son to quit drugs, neither can you use emotional pressure or blackmail. He has to want to quit on his own desire.
It is heartwrenching to lose touch emotionally with your child. I am going through a similar thing although drugs are not the issue. I have had to take a back seat and watch from a distance as my kid makes her own mistakes.
Start by helping yourself, also talk to your GP because you may need help for depression.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): I'm sorry but there's NOTHING you can do...he has to stop on his own.
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female
reader, Smiles12345678  +, writes (9 August 2010):
Lock him in a cage ... theres no drugs there
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