A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm just hoping to hear from a few long-time, happily married/committed men on what it is about their relationship with their wives/girlfriends that makes it work? Also, to any men who have/had stable relationships, what are some of the factors involved that keeps you committed to her or what is it about life with her more appealing then anyone/thing else? I hope someone would give a few examples of what it is she does that keeps you around?Also, any thoughts on whether its futile to expect any man to ever be completely faithful? I personally do, but I'd feel a whole lot better if I knew men could love a woman enough to actively avoid forming bonds with other woman while still "scratching that itch" for himself? And do all men have an "itch" to be "scratch"? Thanks so much for even the slightest reply. (I've just been stuck in my own head about this for too long and could really use some feedback from an outside source. Thanks again.) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou make it sound so simple. Of course, getting a woman to stop complaining, even about trivial things, is pretty far fetched it's self. =] But if you guys say so, I'll take your advice. Thanks so much for answering my questions.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Reread baddogbj's post. Every word of it is solid gold.
A man certainly can be faithful forever, even if his eyes wander now and then. He just needs the right woman. Not every man can (some are just scumbags), so be sure to pick the right one.
We need to know that our girlfriends/wives trust us to make the decisions on our own, even if we make them together. We need to feel like providers, not pack mules. Like captain, with our women as exectuive officer.
It helps to know that when another woman tempts us (deliberately or not), we can have a quickie with our own girlfriend, and she won't accuse us of thinking of the other woman (we might for a second or two, but getting our brains back on you is part of the reason for the sex).
Without divulging too many details, one girl I dated in college did a lot of things right. Once, we had planned a four-day vacation together. Basically ninety-six hours of nonstep sex, after a long dry spell during midterms. But her best friend had a pretty serious crisis, so I let her cancel. Most girls I've dated would have expected me to agree to it, and would have compared it to some sacrifice they had made, or given shallow thanks. This girl appreciated it, and made up for it; it became a way to strengthen our relationship.
It's not a game of breaking even, or getting the most out of someone, it's inspiring each other to give all of yourselves.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 October 2010):
 My husband needs to be appreciated. I think that's close to respect and admiration but it is just subtly different. He gets things done and some of them are things that will help or please me. I recognize those and let him know how much I appreciate his efforts and thoughtfulness.
I do not put him down or criticize him in front of anyone else, ever. I might tease him or gently remind him that he might not be 100% correct in his storytelling but I never ever put him down. That is not okay.
Finding fault is easy. Finding the things to praise takes a little more effort but is a much much better way to guide someone.
And of course there are faithful men out there. Do they look at other women? Yes. Do they fantasize about other women? No doubt. But do they hold their principles and stick by their woman? Indubitably.
Treat him with courtesy, treat him with love and respect. Overlook the little stuff. Appreciate the positive stuff and nice gestures.
If he thinks you think he is the best thing that ever happened to you, um well, he'll try to be the best thing that ever happened to you. It's pretty awesome.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 "Don't nag, don't put down, don't emasculate him, don't smother him. Give him space and encouragement and occasionally give him breakfast in bed and wake him up with a blowjob. Ask him to fix things for you but rather than nagging and complaining when he doesn't, swoon with impressed delight when he does."
This paragraph is flippin' brilliant!!
If I found a girl like that I'd never be itchy again.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Men crave respect more than anything else. So in addition to love and kindness and sex and good cooking and all of that, make us feel needed and respected. By "respected" I don't mean the modern wishy washy respect for everyone and everything. Actually pretend to look up to us and admire us even when we don't really deserve it. I know for a fact that my wife is more capable in many ways than I am but she is never so stupid as to let me know that she knows that. If you let your man believe that he is your protector then he won't leave you.
Don't nag, don't put down, don't emasculate him, don't smother him. Give him space and encouragement and occasionally give him breakfast in bed and wake him up with a blowjob. Ask him to fix things for you but rather than nagging and complaining when he doesn't, swoon with impressed delight when he does.
I can't tell you, if I happen to be in the house when my wife doesn't know I'm here (its a big house) and I overhear her say to one of her friends "... oh Baddog is so good at xyz" or ".. he's so clever with abc". Even if I know that she is exaggerating I still feel great and feel compelled to live up to what she believes I am.
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