A
male
age
41-50,
*hoes2000
writes:I have an issue. My girlfriend get very upset with me when we try to sleep in the same bed. I toss and turn when I sleep. She says that I knee and elbow her. She yells at me for this even though I tell her that I am not doing it intentionality and apologize for it. The only reason that I move her is because I wake up falling off the bed on my side from her being right in the middle. She says that she does not come over to my side but that because of gravity and I weigh more that she rolls over to the middle of bed. Every time I wake up falling off the bed I look over and she has like 3 feet on her side. I do not get upset with her for being on my side. But I cannot help tossing and turning and it ruins my day to be woken up in the morning and being yelled at. Also she has been picking arguments with me over the stupidest things and getting very upset. She is also usually too tired for "you know" and doesn't really show interest in it as much as I do. I am not an argumentative person at all and have never had any problems with my ex girlfriends with sex or sleeping in the same bed or arguing? Is my relationship doomed? I hope not because this is the first of my girlfriends that I can see myself having a future with. But not if these stupid problems and arguments keep happening.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (26 October 2010):
 BTW Shoes, investing in quality furniture is not foolish. Why are guys so worried about looking like a fool? Of course I did give you a low cost trial idea.
FA
A
male
reader, shoes2000 +, writes (22 October 2010):
shoes2000 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice these are all helpful suggestions. I have considered a king size bed. I would like that, but what if I go spend $1,000 on a new bed setup and it is the same problem. Then I will be a fool. I would also consider the two beds in the same room if we ever live together. ( I seriously have my doubts about that) But that seems a bit silly. Not sure why she can't either stay on her side or be understanding that I move in my sleep and not yell at me. I absolutely agree tricia. I know that we need to work on communicating calmly as adults I have been trying to do that and to avoid all arguments. But she will say something completely illogical. It seems almost impossible with her. She always gets upset and escalates her tone of voice whenever I try to work out a problem so that we can avoid conflict. I have not been with anyone that is so difficult to get along with. And I will away from this if she is going to be difficult, moody, and not make me happy. I guess I have to give it time. I love her. But I don't want to be dealing with a difficult person for the rest of my life and I am just wondering if I will be better off with someone more relaxed and less confrontational with a better sex drive. Thank you so much for your help! I absolutely appreciate your suggestions. Thank you!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Get one of those foam-topped mattresses. Gravity keeps you exactly in place. There's no rolling to the middle.
You could also do twin beds and just pick one when it's time for making love.
The arguments can be worked on if you both learn to communicate with each other. I've talked about how to fight fair here before. There are many sites that teach you how to do that. Maybe you can talk calmly with her about fixing your communication. You can also try to talk calmly with her about sex and the perceived incompatibility between you two.
It sounds as though you both need to work on this and try to do it as lovingly and gently as you can.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (22 October 2010):
What Jmtmj (palindrome) said. This could have a lot to do with her being tired all the time and not feeling good in bed. The bed is the scene of all her arguments with you. All she has to do is walk into the room and it all comes back to her mind.
Now mismatched libido is a serious problem but since sex drives change over life you can't avoid it by picking the right person. A better strategy would be to learn to work with it.
If you have the means get a local hotel room with a king sized bed and see if you sleep better. Also when you are shopping for a mattress be sure to lay on them for 10 to 15 minutes. A good salesman knows that it takes that long to know if you will feel comfortable in it.
FA
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A
male
reader, Ricemonster  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 My parents sleep on separate beds, next to each other, using separate blankets. It works great, until my dad starts grunting in his sleep, but that's another issue. My friend's parents also do the same thing, except their beds are apart in the same room.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Thought about getting a king sized bed with a decent mattress?
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