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age
41-50,
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writes: Even when I was a teenager I never beleived in 1 night stands and never had sex with a woman I didn't at least care about. I hear about so many cases of cheating, group sex and just fucking someone just for the hell of it. I find it a bit discusting. All my mates have told me of sexual expiriences they've had that made my guts twist. Is this normal or should I find it amusing? It's kind of weird how some chicks talk about the average bloke but it never fits my catergory. Am I normal? :-/
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female
reader, KnightOfTheArtTable  +, writes (9 August 2015):
No. You're not strange. Its everyone else that think casual sex and one night stands are acceptable that are wierd.
Rest assured that most of the people that are bragging, are lying. Theyre just bragging because they think thats what everyone else is doing, and they dont want to be be the odd one.
Dont worry, I was the odd girl at school who hadnt been with anyone, and stayed out of the "So what did you do with that girl/boy at the party last night?" chats.
Keep being yourself, dont think you need to try it. Be strong, because they'll be the ones trying to live a normal life with HIV or herpes, and having to go to the doctors and getting their infected junk out.
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (23 October 2010):
 I don't engage in them. I think they damage a person's ability to form long-term pair-bonds and have fulfilling relationships, and I want nothing to do with the drama. I'll take a relationship with a nice girl of similar values, thank you.
While I don't believe flings should be banned or anything, and I don't believe they are inherently immoral, most of the people I know who get really into that scene (as in, more than once or twice) and up seriously messed up in all the areas I *do* feel entitled to judge in. There's too much of a correlation for me to ignore it.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 October 2010):
 I'll say that when I was a teenager, wasn't for them like you found them repulsive and how could people stoop to that level..Until one day I found myself on the other side of the fence..Hypocritical, I know. Just got out of an engagement with a year and a half dry spell, so needless to say I was on the prowl and looking for men, no strings attached, no calling me in 3 days. I will say, I didn't do any gang banging, threesomes, some of my morals were intact. That phase lasted, about a year..then it dawned on me that I was getting no where with this promiscuity except for a growing amount of sexual partners. So I cut the crap, because it wasn't me.
For some guys/gals that's all they want..they like going out and picking a different person to take home every night. Keeps it interesting for them. Their needs met with whatever hottie they met at the club that night. So you think differently, and have some morals. You're normal, you just chose to not participate in that phase in your teenage years. Good for you for marching to the beat of your own drum.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): The reason most chicks don't talk about blokes like you is because most chicks don't know what an average bloke is. Their idea of the average man is the average man who hits on her and is attractive enough for her to consider sleeping with. The rest of men, no matter how much more worthy or common than those guys, just do not take up as much mental space in most women's minds.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (23 October 2010):
 Honestly, to each his own. You dont like certain things, and I hate them too...but there are all kinds of people in this world, and there are people who dont mind this stuff. Try not to get so judgmental about these things, because then there is no end to the list!! You would be constantly irritated and crabby thinking about how pathetic these things are. You dont like them...fine.You dont have to associate yourself with all this. As a vegetarian, i cant understand how people can eat meat...but if I start judging and thinking about it and questioning myself and others, Il be really uncomfortable!! Just chill...its all relative...nothing about normal or abnormal...
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (23 October 2010):
 I wish there were more guys like you - you value sex.
I've had girlfriends who have slepts with 70+ people. I on the other hand have only had two relationships, I just can't do it, for the life of me it seems disgusting without actually having feelings for the man. It would just seem so carnal, devalued and mechanical if it were with someone I didn't know...just can't do it.
I didn't get how one of my friends would sleep with any guy she picked up, but she had a hard time lending out her DVDs to me...its just so weird...
I think you're doing what you feel is best for you. There is no true normal, everyone is just different. Do what feels right and good to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): I like the idea of casual sex for some reason, but I am programmed to be romantic, monogamous and in a serious relationship. So I am kinda conflicted about my approaches on sexuality. The times I have had casual encounters, I could not focus. The smells, sounds and sensations of the women were strange to me because they were unfamiliar, and it threw me off almost to the point where it was not enjoyable. To me, casual sex requires you to look past the soul or essence of a person, and I just cant do that. People fascinate me, and if I'm going to be intimate physically, I need to really know a woman. The only time it was nice was with a girl I was friends with for a long time and we just took it to a physical level. But it wound up kinda ruining the friendship, so I disliked it for other reasons.
Generally, I'm all in, or all out. One nighters are like putting only your genitals in...I am not like that. Or I should say I am not programmed like that...but I do fantasize. And there have been times I just needed release and didnt want to do it solo. I actually admire those that can discern between casual sex relationships and meaningful ones and hold both in their lives for what they are. I've never been that skilled myself.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (23 October 2010):
 Yeh I'm not a fan of them either, but I don't judge people who do it, its just not something I'm comfortable doing myself. Sex is fun to talk about and some of the funniest, sickest, most bizarre stories I've heard from mates revolve around it.
And don't worry, I'm sure many guys probably don't consider themselves to fit into the "average bloke" category... nothing wrong with that, just means you're an individual.
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female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (23 October 2010):
 Pfft, of course. The idea is as appealing to me as bugs in my coffee and I don't see the point personally. I don't judge people who do it, but I don't think I'd date a guy who engaged in a lot of casual sex because our ideals would be way too different. You're fine! Not at all weird. One-night stands are simply not for you. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): I don't believe in one-night stands either, and I think they're rather gross as well. I would never engage in group sex, either, but to each his own, right?
In other words, I think you're perfectly normal.
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