A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi could someone please help me with this question? If somebody is trying to control you by refusing you something and they probably thought you would chase them for it, then do they have any control over you if you walk away and say ok i will go and get the thing that i want elsewhere? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Could you be more specific?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): Okay, from what I understand you are asking if this person has lost control from the situation?
It is one thing to assume that this person knows what you are going to do.
If what you are saying is that they think you will keep going after them for something you want or need, but you just walk away means they have lost the power over you.
Not the response they want and will upset them.
Its not defeat as the other person explained, but you are taking a different way to deal with the situation.
Controlling someone else's behaviour is not right if it is for the purpose of just wanting control. Unless it is to protect someone from something, it is not justified to act that way to someone else.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Your question is a bit too hypothetical to understand. But Im giving it a shot: no one has control over you until you let them. If you are depending on them that does not mean they have control over you. People can depend on each other without it being something negative, control comes into the picture if you use that dependency against someone's will.
Power, traditionally put, is when A gets B to do something B otherwise wouldn't have done.
Do not take it as a defeat if you have to go elsewhere. It is not your problem if someone else is trying to control you, that is them abusing whatever power they have. A good person wouldn't do that, and it does not reflect on you.
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