A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have asked for help before and you guys have tried but it's been almost 2 years and I still can't get my wife to have sex hardly at all I still can't get a hand job, I can't even get a kiss goodnight here lately. I love my wife very much but I don't know how much longer I can take this. Sex is important to me and only having sex every couple of months isn't cutting it. I have tried all I know to do. I have cleaned the house done home work with the kids. Cook the meals try to keep the dishes done. Nothing seems to help. I took her out of town just me and her for our 14th.I got sex once. that was the last time I had sex. Aug.1st. I just don't know what I need to do. She want talk to me about it. She just say's it makes her feel nasty. I feel like my marriage is suffering a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I would still be here if it wasn't for my kids. Please any help is welcome.
View related questions:
hand-job Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): You definitely need counselor to help with whatever it is that is going on underneath all this.
Sorry, but you can't do this alone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Wow that sucks! I can't imagine doing this to the man I love. How can making love make you feel nasty? The only time sex was nasty to me was when I was with a guy who didn't love me and I didn't love. because I felt he used me and I was never sexually fulfilled so i felt like a piece of meat. Also this happened when I was raped at 19. afterwards, I would only consent to touching and a man giving me oral but no sex. But I got counselling and once I fell in love, I felt comfortable enough to have sex without feeling used and dirty.
Now sex with my current BF is so lovely. He is so loving and he is so generous and pleasing. Sex with a lover should feel like cloud NINE. he makes me feel special IOn and out of the bedroom.
Has she been through any psychological or physical truama? does she feel sexually satisfied with you? are you romantic? or wham bam thank you mam type? try talking to a sex therapist it could help discern the root of the problem before you decide to divorce her.
But then again, has it always been like this where you get sex occassionally or did it just get less and less over time? Committed Men sometimes equate love with sex so I can see your frustration. Its time to move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys We have been Married for 12 years been together for 14. I used to get all the sex I could have ever wanted. now I hardly get any. I don't know what happened. the only time in the last 4or 5 years I have gotten sex like that was when she wanted a baby. Know we have a 2 year old and She can no longer have kids so I can't even say hey lets have a kid and get sex. I just feel that i am pretty well screwed when it comes to get screwed.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): If this has been on going problem for more than 2 years, then there is definitely a big problem here.
Try to make sure she speaks up about what the problem is, but if after so much persistence, she doesnt want to give in, bro, you have two choices, either divorce her or get a woman on the side.
My ex was too religious and didnt want sex often, we came to a compromise that am free to satisfy myself outside as long as she doesnt know. Though when she found out, she couldnt stop crying, so i decided to dump her and get a normal woman and ever since, even though i get advances from other women, i simply turn them down because my current girlfriend gives me all i want.
Good luck bro.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 October 2010):
I think that something happened to your wife. Don't know whether it was rape, sexual abuse or even just a lot of psychological stuff a few years ago. But a woman who is saying that sex makes her feel 'nasty' is a woman who has something eating away at her. Think about when she first didn't want sex. What happened that she stopped? Was there something else going on?
...............................
A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (27 October 2010):
 Whenever I read a question concerning a woman.I almost can pretty much speak from experience, I've been through so many things and came out alright! I thought about "RAPE" When I read your story and how women don't feel "CLEAN" no matter what after the "RAPE". Something happened!!! I'm not saying I'm a PSYCHIC!NO. Not saying that at all! What I am saying she's feeling a sense of not having the POWER of control over her body anymore.She lost that,years ago,I can tell from how she's acting now. That power of saying "NO HONEY NOT TONIGHT" and you accept it and not question it,was LOST.~No watered advice here!
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 Was she ever different when it came to sex, as in- has sex just gradually died down over time or was she always not so keen to begin with?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Wow man Im sorry about this. This sounds very frustrating. First, youre normal for having your needs so dont be ashamed about that. I find your wife, with all due respect, a little bit off here. Have you asked her specifically what she doesnt like? Is she religious? My ex gf said that too but I compromised with her and let me say she had a damn good time lol ;)...sit down and talk to her face to face out of the bedroom. If you cant resolve it there, Id say try counseling as a healthy sex life is def important for a marriage to last my man. Good luck.
...............................
|
