A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:how do you honestly know when your relationship is at a end point Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 October 2010):
Hi there. You have to ask yourself (and be completely honest when you do this) - "Am I really happy?"
It's necessary to have a think about all the things you do and don't like about your relationship now.
Once a relationship gets past the newness stage, which is about 18 months to about 2 or maybe 3 years, things do evolve into a more comfortable situation. The sparkle and heart beating faster type of feeling, doesn't last forever.
Perhaps this is what you are referring to.
The newness stage can't possibly last forever. The reason for this is that real life then starts to kick in:-
- Bills
- Mortages
- Dirty washing
- Work problems
- Children
and many, many more things as well.
It's a case of life getting in the way of romance, you might say.
Sometimes with relationships, you can come to a place where you just feel like friends instead of lovers. It's kind of taking each other for granted, and perhaps you don't go out so often, or forget to have fun. Life can become a bit boring sometimes.
But life can be whatever you want it to be. Boredom usually happens in the absence of anything fun to do.
Life also has to have a sense of purpose to it. A reason to get out of bed each day.
You might be feeling this way, because it's a work/life balance issue.
Perhaps you do all the things you have to do, but not enough of the things you want to do. That makes most people very unhappy. In fact, it's probably the very essence of most problems people have these days. The restlessness it causes, certainly could result in relationship breakups - because of the moodiness.
We all seem to be rather "Time Poor". Not enough time to ourselves, always doing things for others, but not ever seeming to be able to find the time to do the things we would most like to be doing.
It's probably at the heart of the problems most couples have. It's not anything (or at least very little), to do with the relationship at all.
If you have work/life balance issues in your life, this feeling will spill over into every other area of your life - work, relationships and eventually your health as well. Especially, if you do nothing about it.
So finding time for yourself and actually schedulling it into your life daily, will help enormously.
Regards relationships, try to never take each other for granted. Really listen to each other when you talk. Treat each other with complete respect, and without criticism always. Take an interest in each other's life and genuinely care.
Sometimes over the years, people start to forget some of these things, because of being busy.
Spending some quality time together talking about your day and his, and being genuinely interested when you do. Don't pretend. Listen with complete undivided attention, and look into each other's eyes when you do.
Everyone wants to be heard. We all want to feel we matter and that we have value in the relationship. Every way you can show this, will make a huge difference. Showing you care in whatever way you can and being sincere when you do.
Allowing each other into your world, by sharing yourself and your feelings with the other. Be an open book, don't hide anything from them. Build a good rapport with each other, and the feeling of being emotionally connnected will develop. All good relationships have these qualities. They are really important.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 Most probably when someone begins to wonder how you know a relationship is at an end. Most people in love would not wish for an end and therefore, they would never think of their relationships ending, they would struggle to keep it alive but when you start realizing that a relationship is dying, you start seeking an answer, looking for things to tell you whether or not there is still something left.
There will always be a time where a couple despises each other, in the midst of conflict they will be blinded by more anger than love and they will invite the thought of termination into their minds and let it linger until they have had a chance to calm themselves. For example, in a non-romantic situation, a mother and a daughter would constantly bicker about meager things and they would find that they tend to feel hatred but when all is said and done, if there is even the slightest flicker of regret, there is still much love in that relationship and I suppose that same thing can be said for those in a romantic relationship.
A relationship is at an end when there is no affection, when neither partner wishes to express love anymore. When words are but hollow sounds that fall upon heartless ears. When you stop wishing to see someone, when the thought of them ceases to give you a pulse of emotion. You may feel as though something SHOULD be there, when it isn't.
I hope that helps.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (27 October 2010):
 When you can no longer see a future with them as being realistic and you are not a better & happier person when you are with them. Basically when the con's of the relationship outweigh the pro's is a general rule of thumb for me.
...............................
|
