A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need your help. My boyfriend and I got into this big argument/discussion last night and even though we cleared a lot of things up, there are just some things I'd like to get your opinion on.Some things he said still kind of stick out in my head. He kept mentioning how he "doesn't know what love is", and how he "doesn't know if he want's to marry me", and how he loves me and can see a future with me but just doesn't know what will happen. I think he's just afraid of things ever going really bad. But, I told him that as long as we both want to make it work, that's all that matters. Don't think so much about the future or the past and just live in the now and be happy with me, because we are happy together and we communicate well and that's the basis of a healthy and good relationship, isn't it? And also, who does really know what love is? You say the words, you feel differently when you say them, and there's nothing else like it.I don't know, there are just so many things on my mind. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Yeah am guessing that is were his problem is arising from he probably doesnt know how to show you love or how to let his feelings show but its good that you are both talking things through thats a great step communication is so important. Good Luck with the future i hope things progress.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's so interesting that you mentioned that (aunt honesty), because his mother passed when he was just a child. He did briefly mention how when he was young he "couldn't just go run and cry to his mom", which resulted in him keeping all his thoughts and emotions to himself. I'm sure the lack of comfort and love of having a mother does result in the reason why he acts in these certain insecure ways or what have you.
We've been talking a lot more about everything since, and working things out.
I really honestly appreciate your guys' responses and taking time to read my post.
:)
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Funnily enough I don't think this needs over-analyzing...
You said how you feel, he said how he feels, now, just as you said- "don't think so much about the future or the past and just live in the now and be happy."
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (28 October 2010):
Sit down and talk to him about this, what was his childhood like? Does his parents show him love? This may stem from his up bringing or else he may just have got a scare of commitment and isnt sure how he feels. It sounds like he loves you and you are both on the right track as for marriage you guys are only young so just take things step by step tell him there is no rush for anything. And ask him to tell you whatever is on his mind and you will help him through his uncertainty.
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