A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hey :)I know I have asked this before, but I got no help :( thank you to the people who did comment though, I just need more help please I don't know what to do im really sorry its so long, but please I need your advice ....I'm a little confused right now because I think my teacher flirts with me.he always stares at me when he is teaching the class, but when I look at him he doesn't look away he just gives me a cheeky grin or just looks into my eyes with no facial expression.My class is only small but its full of girls, but he only seems to talk to me and he always plays jokes and pranks on me, sometimes he stands behind me and puts his crotch area right next to my hand and sometimes my hand is actually touching that area, but I don't move away because I really like him.When he sees me in the corridors he smiles at me. Sometimes when he's on playground duty, he just stands their staring at me. the other day he was standing out their with my maths teacher, I went over to talk to her, and he was staring at my ass and legs, he then said "what's up with your skirt" (because it was creased) i just said i don't know and he continued looking at my legs.A few weeks ago their was a parents evening and I went over with a group of girls to talk to him. all of the girls I was with where in his classes as some point so he knew us all. But he was only talking to me, my friends said he was being very flirty, one of my friends said "If that desk wasn't in the way, he would have been up your skirt".I didn't realise he was flirting that much though. My friends also said every time I looked away from him, he was deeply gazing at my boobs and body. as we walked out he was looking at my legs and arse, like properly checking me out. I was pretty scared to talk to him the next day.A few days ago, i was in an ICT room for my lesson I had with him, I couldn't find my work, so i asked him to help me, he leaned right over me, I could feel my back getting warm because he was so close. he had his head very close to mine, he also put his hand on my hand to find the work, he found my work and walked away but as normal he was just staring at me, then my friend was sitting next to me needed help, so she called him over, he helped her, then he came and stood behind me and starting playing with my hair, and stroking it. then he walked away.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 October 2010):
 OP, I could say much more about this matter, and you'd like it even less than what I said already. No need to fuel sterile polemics and your juvenile narcissism, - let's just stick to the facts.
You have repeatedly posted about your problem. You are absolutely sure that your teacher is really flirting . You have received in several variations very sensible advice : Talk. Report him. Tell your story to the adults in charge and let them handle it.
You never did that. Why ?
Because you don't want to ruin him and prevent him from teaching evermore,you say.
I doubt that an allegation of possibly unbecoming stares would authomatically put a stop to his career - but even if it were so, why not.
If , as you are convinced, this man is acting in an inappropriate , disrespectful, dangerous way, - he should NOT be allowed to teach ! You should be glad that he is being stopped from inflicting further harm not only to you but to other girls like you !
Therefore, two plus two is not quite making four in your predicament....
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (29 October 2010):
Hello posterFirstly, I would echo what some of the other aunts and uncles have said here and ignore what your friends have got to say about this issue. If the way that one of your friends has posted on here is indicative, it suggests that they will not be able to offer rational, sensible or objective advice. You state in your post:" my friends said he was being very flirty, one of my friends said "If that desk wasn't in the way, he would have been up your skirt".That sort of statement is pure nonsense and is not helpful. It is immature and just seeking to spread rumour and stir things up. Please don't listen to your friends if this is the sort of thing they are saying. You need to think long and hard- as I think you already have done- weigh things up, and come to your own conclusions without their opinions.These sort of questions are always hard to answer because there are many on here about teachers and crushes. Your original post didn't actually ask a question so this might be why you have got a mixture of answers. I also have to say that you do not say that you feel ANYTHING negative about your teacher's behaviour, from which I think it would have been fair to conclude that you liked the attention. Your follow-up posts, however, have clarified things which is good.For the most part, I would argue that what he has done is fairly trivial, however, the crotch part is very strange, and the hair-playing is definitely crossing a line. You should not be concerned about what will happen to him if you speak to someone, as long as you are completely certain about what you are saying. I wonder if it would be a good idea to keep some sort of journal of this sort of thing if you want to build up a proper picture of what has been going on. If you are certain that he has been acting inappropriately towards you then you do need to speak to someone about it, be that another teacher, a counsellor, or a parent. It needs to be a responsible adult though, not one of your school friends. I have to say that all in all I don't think that anything very serious has happened here, however, if you are feeling upset or disturbed by what the teacher has been doing then you need to speak to someone. Perhaps try and remove yourself from situations where he might get very close to you if you can. If he plays with your hair again then turn round and ask him what he is doing. I have to say, if he is deliberately putting his crotch next to your hand then that is certainly not flirting; does anyone flirt like that? I don't think so. Are you sure this isn't accidental? Because normal people don't push their crotches onto people. Anyway, try and think about what has happened WITHOUT the various opinions of your friends. From this question I think they are trying to stir up trouble, whether there is cause for any or not. Try and be objective. I don't know what you are intending to say to him on Monday, but if it were me, if I were certain that I didn't like his behaviour I would speak to somebody else. If not, I would say nothing, watch what happens for a little while, and then re-evaluate based on what happens next. Why do you want to speak to him about it particularly?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): eyeswideopen in answer to you comment,
I wanted other peoples opinions before I told someone and maybe ruined his life and stopped him from teaching again. I am thinking about him here, just because it makes me unconformable, I still dont want to ruin his life, thats just my opinion. Thats why i came here to see if you guys thought i should say something or just leave it and maybe just ask him to stop, but if you think i should then i will talk to him monday. Thankyou for your comment.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 OP, your problem is serious, and if you are upset by this then you need to tell someone who can do something about it. Talk to the principal, or an administrator. He has no right to touch you.
That's really the only way for you to solve this problem. The others are wondering what they are because you've been told this is what you need to do and yet you don't do it. It makes them think something is up.
TELL AN AUTHORITY FIGURE. Be it another teacher, an administrator, the police, I don't care. That's the only way to stop this from happening.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Then why haven't you reported him to someone?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): Cindycares "She" is me its slightly rude what you are saying. its not for attention? or i would not have come to this site im a truly looking for something to do about my teacher, and if thats all you can say about the matter, then dont comment back please.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (29 October 2010):
You are sooo right,Eyeswideopen.
This teacher's behaviour might ,or might not, be totally inappropriate,- the point though is that , even if it is totally inappropriate, the poster really digs it. That's why she won't do anything about it. She won't tell her parents, she won't tell him to back off, she won't report him to the school principal, she won't consult the school counselor . She'll just lap up all the attention- whether it is really inappropriate or just perceived as such- with a little frisson of excitement down her spine. It feels so good being center stage ,doesnt'it ?- without having to actually DO something (e.g. studying hard ) to deserve it.....
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female
reader, lol.jk +, writes (29 October 2010):
its me again, the one that posted the question :)
please dont get huffy with me. i didn't mean that the question was my first posting? i meant the comment i made on it was? please get your facts right before you start on me. And for your information I am rather worried about it. i come here looking for help. im not just wasting your time? im looking for help and if your not going to help me. then stop posting, thanks, bye.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 October 2010):
First posting???? Look at your first sentence. You got the exact same advice the last time, yet you did not heed it apparently. I really don't think you are upset about this teacher's behavior in the slightest.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Minor case babes, if anything at all. You've been brave (in my opinion) to continue to come here and explain it all to us. Don't think it's worth saying anything about (in my humble opinion) but you could tell him to back off a little and give you space, and tell him you feel funny about people touching you, and touching your hair.
StayC is totally right... there is no "flirting" going on. Teachers do not flirt. He's either a pervert, or you got things mistaken. To me, it just sounds like he doesn't know how to act around young ladies. (my humble opinion)
Also, loljk, (very strange name) your friends are making too much drama out of this, they are bored and using you for excitement. Tell them to back off and go and do some homework.
PS: JMTMJ ~ Speed read of course :) Ignore that one difficult sentence and we still got a guy who looks too much, touches hair and should keep his hands and eyes to himself.
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female
reader, lol.jk +, writes (29 October 2010):
Guys. im the person that wrote this post.
and this is my first posting. he crotch was near my hand because they are science desks (they are higher then normal desks) I do move my hand away. but sometimes its just so awkward I don't know what to do. and when i said i really like him, I don't me I have feelings or a crush over him! I mean he is like one of my best teacher. and i am here truly about getting help, I don't want to know if hes flirting with me or not, i already know he is. i want to know what to do about it, and if i should say something to someone? or is it just a minor case and is not worth telling someone and ruining his career? (Maybe i didn't explain it every well in my question
----------- But i am looking for help i dont want you to tell me hes flirting? i already he is! i just want your opinions on what to do about it. Thanks for commenting if you have already.
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male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 well i dont condone teachers flirting with their students, but sometime people see things differently.
your friend seems more worried over this than you, and she may be winding you up. you dont move your hand and didnt object when he played with your hair.
if YOU really have concerns about his behavior then see the head of school asap. you could write it in a note and hand it to the head. either way you need to act.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Did you skim-read Miamine? :)
"sometimes he stands behind me and puts his crotch area right next to my hand and sometimes my hand is actually touching that area, but I don't move away because I really like him."
If this is truly about getting help instead of getting confirmation of flirting then the first move is to move your hand... speak to ANY adult you know and they'd gladly follow this up and make sure this doesn't happen again.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 October 2010):
Oh yea,
You have every right to tell this teacher not to touch you again ever. You also have the right to tell him not to come to close to you and to respect your personal space. This should warn him enough to tell him to back off and leave you alone because you don't feel comfortable with the way he interacts with you.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (28 October 2010):
 I never went through this teacher crush phase I hear about so much on here. Thank god I guess. I've read the comments back and forth and I honestly thought the anon poster was the original poster with how huffy and sensitive they are getting... But anyhow... If a teacher is pressng his crotch against you he is a pervert. And it shouldn't be something exciting because you like him, it would be disgusting and very wrong. So if there is any merit to the accusations then one day when you are older you will wish you had gone to some authorities about this. If this truly is as tennisstar said (which I strongly agree) and you just want to hear us say "You're right! He is flirting and he likes you!", you won't ever hear it here. Either it is a crush on your part that will pass or he's a pervert and you should talk to an adult. No other answer to be given.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): It is really wrong what he is doing. No matter if you like it or not you need to tell another teacher or member of staff. If you don't you will look back on what is happening when you are older and realise how important it was to say something.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 October 2010):
Sigh.... (will read teenage school stuff... )mmmmm... JMTMJ and aunts, yep, there is something wrong here. This girl isn't talking about fancying the teacher or liking him, she says his body movements make her feel uncomfortable. She believes he has a sexual interest in her and it's making her feel frightened. I also haven't read her previous posts.Yep, that's a valid complaint. I've known teachers like that, and yes, some have been dangerous. Kids have a sixth sense sometimes about creepy teachers and this one sounds like a very creepy one. Had a teacher that couldn't discipline girls because we were to frightened to stay after school with him, and all he did was look at us in a very funny way.Dear caller, please contact Childline.. http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx Tel: 0800 1111 (free to call and totally confidential)Tell them about your concerns and ask them for help.You can also go and tell a favourite trusted teacher (female) or the school nurse that this male teacher makes you feel frightened, even if he doesn't "seem" to be doing anything. You can't be too careful with these things.Best not to ever be alone with this teacher if you feel nervous around him. At the moment his behaviour makes you uncomfortable and that is good enough for me to say you should be on your guard and stay away from him, and stay in public any time your around him.Hope this helps.
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male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (28 October 2010):
I'm not seeing anything here that isn't normal teacher behavior... apart from maybe playing with your hair.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): Look all of you calm down. All this over a girl that wants our options on her teachers flirting habits? Can we please stop fighting and think about how we are making the girl that wrote this thing feel. clearly she wants help, or should would not have come to this website, i gather that she wants our opinions on if he's flirting with her or not. so can we all just give those opinions stop being rude to the girl who wrote this and stop being nasty to each other, if we all get along, we can help this girl out, the questions shes asking is. does my teacher flirt with me? so can we all please answer that. Thankyou.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 October 2010):
You beat me TS! Great minds think alike....
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 October 2010):
Okay why doesn't the poster actually say what help she is seeking? Does she want advice on how to get away from this teacher? No. Does she want to know who at the school she should report this to? No. We all tried to help her the last two times she's posted but she wasn't interested in help. I'm not being rude just stating the facts, little miss anonymous is the one name calling. Who's really being rude?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 October 2010):
 @ANON reader, clearly you're a teenager yourself if you have to resort to name calling. This is my first time answering her post, maybe if you read carefully her post and mine it says she likes her teacher..in which in my last paragraph I offer her a piece of realistic advice. In no way shape or form am I being rude.
You're right I'm not young, but at my age I'm old enough to know a thing or two. So grow up because everyone on here is entitled to their opinion, and giving advice which is neither right nor wrong. Oh, and do pay close attention in English class from now and because your grammar is lacking.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): tennisstar88. you really need to shh now, im this girls friend and all above that MY FRIEND has said is true. no hes not a short teacher. its a science room and the desks are bigger in those rooms... get your facts right before you say anything. you dont even know her haha. stop trying to be smart please. my friends upset about this.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 October 2010):
She's at her desk and apparently this is a short man if his crotch comes up to her fore arm. And sometimes her hand is actually touching his area?? I'm thinking someone is going to notice and tell if that is really the case here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): tennisstar88. she said NOTHING about wanting to be in a relationship with him? So shhhh. you are probably just upsetting her. Further more... her posting it twice shows that shes concerned and wants help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): all you haters are stupid, shes only looking for help, and I don't think this is for attention. I agree with fishdish. eyeswideopen and tennisstar88, your so rude, if you where young i dont think you would like this happening to you, maybe you should helped her the first time? instead of getting all rude to her? Idiots...
i do believe the teacher is doing something wrong, maybe you should consult your mom?
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (28 October 2010):
 I didn't read the original post, but if you're uncomfortable wth him, which it sounds like you are since you tried to avoid him one of the days after an incident, why don't you see if you get transferred into a different class? Or, just talk to a school counselor aobut it and then THEY can make an executive decision...he put his crotch up against your hand? I don't understand why people are saying the most serious offense is the hair stroking..
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 October 2010):
Nime, I agree with your post as well. I recognize this young lady from her previous posts. She is not looking for ways to stop or address the teacher's "flirting". Telling her to seek help from an adult just ain't going to happen since she totally enjoys every bit of the attention she is able to get from the teacher. I'm sure there are some embellishments as well. Also telling her this is just a schoolgirl crush will just piss her off, even though it's the God honest truth. She will post and repost this until her crush fades so let's hear that deep sigh my fellow aunts.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 October 2010):
Nime, I agree with your post.
ANON Reader, if you read the post she has posted before and gotten similar replies as to the ones on here. Plus, she said she likes her teacher, so the only thing she is concerned about is he really is flirting with her. It's very possible that she is overanalyzing these apparent flirty signals and messages. Her friends of course being all young teenage girls aren't helping the situation either but yet fueling the fire. The only inappropriate gesture is him stroking her hair..No teacher is allowed to lay a finger on their students with all the student teacher romances going on in our modern society..Plus if anyone was that concerned with this teacher's inappropriate nature then one of the girls would have notified an adult. But again, this is one of those hot teachers that all the girls lust over in school. Every school has got at least one.
OP, what exactly is your question?? Since this is your second posting and I can imagine our views haven't changed this time..it leads me to think you want us to confirm yes he likes you, and how can you be with him..
You're under the age of legal consent, you are still a minor this teacher is a man. If you two were to have a "relationship" then he would be breaking the law. Lose his teaching license, never be able to teach again much less get a respectable career, forced to register as a sexual offender, and thrown in jail for statutory rape. Do you want that to happen to him? No, because you like him. So there's no dating him, if you like him that much then you're going to have to wait till you are of legal age and he quits teaching there..or until you graduate high school. Unless, he gets a job offer at another school I don't see him leaving anytime soon. So that leaves you waiting till you graduate, which will be quite a while and a lot could change in that time, you could date other boys, and your teacher could have a girlfriend or fiance more his age and maturity level.
My advice leave this is a crush, because you're not going to be able to date him..and even then there's no guarantee he will be a part of your future.
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (28 October 2010):
 You haven't specified what your question is..
Its like one long statement.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): don't listen to the person underneath. Giggly 13 year old? the ageing is 13-15, for your information she could be 15? and what do you mean really flirting? did you not just read that? too me he sounds very flirty with you, I have experiences in this matter. and no I don't think the desk comment is ridiculous? this could be serious. CLEARLY the question is "does my teacher flirt with me" and in answer to that, Yes, yes he does flirt with you. I can see your not looking for attention here, saying that you are is pathetic. to me you sound worried and your just looking for help. no for people to start getting rude to you. And i think she knows the consequence to tell people about him shes not stupid. Nima your comment was rude. she needs help, not you calling her a giggly 13 year old. i think he does flirt with you, if it continues to upset you. Speak to someone.
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female
reader, Nime +, writes (28 October 2010):
 You got plenty of replies on your original post. We told you that if your teacher is really flirting with you then it's inappropriate, predatory behavior. However, that's IF he's really flirting with you. From your post it sounds like a bunch of giggly 13 year old girls play-fantasizing over a 'cute' teacher. The "if the desk hadn't been there" comment is just ridiculous unsupported teasing. The only bit of information you've given that makes me think your teacher may have acted inappropriately is that he was stroking your hair. But it all depends on how much of a camaraderie you two have and how long he's known you.
I'm not really sure what your question is here. I realize you think your teacher likes you, but you don't say if this makes you uncomfortable or excited. To me, it sounds like you and your friends are bored and want attention. I'm hesitant to advise you to tell the school authorities about this guy because you could just be taking a girl fantasy too far and in consequence ruin a guy's life.
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male
reader, deadwalk  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Ok before I advice please let me know what's your opinion about your teacher's flirting
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (28 October 2010):
 If you honestly beleive this man is acting inappropriately you need to speak with an adult female your trust, another teacher, a consellor, your mother, an aunt etc.
If you are too scared to talk to him, or he makes you feel uncomfortable speak to somebody who can help, not your friends, sometimes they can only exagerate situations rather than looking at them with an unbiased eye.
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