A
male
age
30-35,
*izardcomrade
writes:I am an 18 year old college freshman who has never been in a relationship, nor have I ever dated in my life. I am not good at body language. I am the type of guy that would be considered a loner due to my lack of social interaction with people, especially those who I don't know. However, I can be very social when around people who I have become familiar with.There is this girl on my dorm floor who I have a crush on. She is the type of girl that laughs a lot, at things that are funny or when embarrassed. She prefers hugs over hello's. She always has a smile on her face. Not to mention, she is an extremely social person who gets along with just about anybody.So here's the story. We first met during orientation week at my university when her and her roommates/friends came to check everyone's rooms and introduce themselves. At first I was annoyed by their presence and didn't feel any chemistry with her (mainly because of my homesickness). But then I grew out of it and started to get acquainted with the other roommates within my dorm suite while her and her friends got acquainted with us by regularly stopping by to watch tv and socialize. Gradually I grew more and more attracted to this girl.Then one day she invited the people in my suite to come hang out with her friends at the mall. I was anxious to go because she was going to be there, but suddenly my phobia of people started to kick in and I locked up and didn't talk much. I guess I came off as being sad, depressed and or pissed off. At one of the stores, she wanted to buy me a shirt. I don't know if this was a sign of interest or just a friendly gesture because after all, the shirt sale was buy one for $11 get one free. I refused because I don't usually like to impose on people, and I told her my reason. Also, I saw the way they were all having fun, aimlessly browsing through the merchandise and I grew jealous and scared that one of the other roommates were going to hook up with her. Another though crossed my mind- she was trying to hook me up with one her friends. I got this feeling when this other friend kept talking to me, asking me how I feel and why I looked so pissed. After the mall, I was depressed at the same time.A few days later, I was in the process of getting over her, but then her roommate sent me note asking for help on homework. I decided to help her just to be friendly gesture, but my main reason for going was to see her again. I helped her roommate with her homework and then she gave me a henna tattoo in return. I started socializing with her again in the room and even made her laugh a couple of times, until she asked me to add her as a friend on facebook.From there, she would visit our suite almost everyday. She would hug me at least twice a day and say hi whenever she saw me. But still, I began to worry if she really liked me or was just being friendly because she hugs many people.Last week, in the middle of the night, my rage, worry and depression grew so much that I just left the dorm without notifying my roommates. I went for a 2 hour walk around the campus, thinking about her and what I should do to fix the problem. When I got back, no one was in the lounge of the suite. And hour later, her and my roommate and two of her friends had just came back from shopping. She scolded me for leaving without notice but then gave me a big hug, which left a smile on my face. I thought things were better and that she did actually care for me.The next day my roommate, the girl's friends, the girl and I had all made plans to see a movie that night. Before the movie, we had all just hung out the suite. During that time, she had told me that she had just shaved her legs and wanted me to feel how smooth they were. I was hesitant because I didn't know if she was kidding or not, but then she insisted and then I proceeded. I Thought that was a sure sign that she was into me.Later that night, as we were wall walking to the theater, she says that she invited some more people to come see the film. It turns out they were some boys from upstairs. I hated them because everyday they produce so much damn noise that it sounds there is a wrestling match going on upstairs. Also, I'm pretty sure that these assholes had put somebody else's socks in my laundry when I left my laundry unattended in the machine. The next showing for the movie was at 9, but we arrived at 7:30. During that time she and her friends were chatting and laughing with the assholes, going to the ice cream store and lantern shop across the street. I grew jealous, thinking that she was actually into one of them or that she had a promiscuous nature. Then I locked up again, not being able to enjoy the movie and looking sad and pissed. While waiting at the bus stop she asked me if the movie was scary, and I just replied with a simple no. She went back to chat with the assholes, laughing and enjoying herself. I stood nearby, just gazing at the rain and thinking to myself "This was just all one big waste of time". She came back again and asked what was wrong and then she hugged me. I said that I was just tired. But I sensed that she knew I was depressed.The next day, she hardly talked to me and only gave me one hug to apologize for not asking to eat with her. I had a final the next day and pretty much failed it because I couldn't study, thinking about how I possibly messed up my chances of being with her.So my depression regarding the failure of my test had overwhelming the depression about screwing up on forming a relationship. As I came back from the test her friend, who had also failed the test in the same class, I think told her how depressed I was and they all hugged me and told me that "it's alright". I smiled a bit, thinking that even after I treated her a bit like crap, she still cared for me. But the real mood booster was when she took my plate of food and told me the correct way to prepare the taquitos that I had put on my plate(she did this in what seemed like a friendly manner, probably to help with my depression). From then on, I felt much better and motivate to study more for my chemistry, thinking that everything her and I would be alright again and could be put off til later.She came back to my dorm to hang out, but then I got a call from one of my study buddies from chem class that he wanted the study near his dorm. So I left without notice, hoping that it wouldn't take too long. As it turns out, the bastard really wanted help with his homework, so I spent about 2 hours trying to help him and I spent another hour trying to fix his internet modem. I mainly did all of this becuase I felt sorry for him due to the fact that he is the same age as me, but has a daughter living with him and his girlfriend, and also becuase he sobbed about being a bad in chemistry and math. I think this may have officially ended the chances of me starting a relationship with the girl because 1. I left without notice again and 2. she was probably hoping to talk to me during the 3 hours and 30 minutes that I wasted helping out a guy that was forever doomed to not succeed in Science.Today, I had lunch and dinner with the girl and her friends, thinking I could repair things. She didn't seem all that interested in me anymore, not continuing on with a conversation when I talked with her. She was still friendly though. She waved at me when I dozed off at the lunch table, and leaned on me while waiting in line for desert. But more importantly, I think she is trying to set me up with another one of her friends and also, I think she is interested in my roommate now.Here is what I want to know: Was she really interested in me at anytime I mentioned in the above story? If so, do you think she lost interest in me now? DO you think I have a chance with her? Can I make things better again and try to form this relationship?
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male
reader, lizardcomrade +, writes (28 October 2010):
lizardcomrade is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs it possible that she has just a slight residue of interest in me, even after what happened, assuming she was interested in me at one point?
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 Well she may have been interested dude, but honestly you sound like you have a rather negative view of things that happen to you and sound unjustifiably moody/angry. By the sounds of things she may have just gotten sick of having to constantly cheer you up, instead of being fun and bringing her vibe up it sounds like you've been bringing her down...
That could explain why she started paying more attention to the fun "assholes" upstairs. That's my very blunt opinion anyways... You could still have a chance with her but you should try to be more positive, happy, fun and much less serious if you want to have a shot. She should feel happier when she's with you, you should bring her mood up instead of bringing her down otherwise you won't even have a shot at a basic friendship.
Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I'm just trying to be honest.
Best of luck :)
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