A
female
age
30-35,
*alalara91
writes:My boyfriend simply won't go down on me. We have been sexually active for over 3 months and I've received it maybe 6 times. I give him head all the time, hoping to get some in return, but he claims he just has to be in the mood for it. I can't stand it...every single sex partner I've had in the past gave me head all the time, and I'm very very clean down there
View related questions:
in the mood Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): im so against the idea that you're doing it to him only when you want something from him. Doing sexual things to your partner should be showing that you find them attractive and want to make them feel good, not that you want something from them.In a way it is good that he only does it to you when he really wants to, it means you both enjoy it, so start only doing it to him when U want to, and not when you want him to go down on you. it just doesn't work. Talk to him, tell him it's important to you and you don't understand. But, to be honest with you, how often do you want it? There is more to a relationship than this. I had this problem, where my boyfriend had never done it before and really found it hard to get used to, and i had a problem with him not accepting the way i am. Now that he accepts me, and says he likes it, we only do it once a month :S if that. I very rarely go down on him either, and we're both perfectly happy with that. See if he can satisfy you in other ways. If you spend all your time focused on this you'll forget to enjoy the other great parts of a sexual relationship. You've only been active for three months, that is not a lot at all, you need more time to get used to each other. Be open and honest and make sure he knows how you feel and then if nothing changes, decide how important it is to you. best of luck.
A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Deffo don't spray perfume!! Have you ever accidentally got a wiff of spray deodorant in your mouth?! It tastes horrible!
Like someone else has said, adding anything very unnatural to the genital region disrupts the pH balance and can cause irritations and thrush!
To keep myself fresh I use feminine washes, wipes and a genital deodorant spray (I have a natural odour, like most women).
Also take into account that just because something smells, it doesn't mean its dirty.
You may just have to accept that this guy doesn't enjoy it that much. Ask him what he feels when he's in the mood and recreate that feeling. Or say "If you do this more often, I will do that for you"
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Ha, yeh, no perfume on the crotch... you wouldn't sniff your perfume bottle for any longer than 5 seconds, don't make us do it for (x) minutes :)
...............................
A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Some good advice has already been given, but can I just say, to the person who said she should spray her intimate area with perfume - err no! Don't do this, there is a delicate balance of bacteria and you shouldn't really use heavily perfumed soaps let alone perfume because it could affect the balance and cause a yeast infection or something. You already feel you are clean and have received oral sex from partners before, so I don't think hygiene is an issue for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): I have heard of people suggesting taking a shower together right beforehand. Not saying he thinks you are dirty, but maybe it would put him at ease a little.
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Why he's not doing it: some guys just really don't like it. Either it's the taste (no matter how clean you are), or they aren't getting any stimulation out of it, or it's psychological. A friend of mine stopped doing it for his girlfriend, and confided that he just couldn't stop thinking about her previous partners when he was down there. They broke up a while later.
What you can do: Two schools of thought here, either reasoning with him or just cutting him off until he changes. If you try reasoning, you can then cut him off; if you cut him off first, it won't be easy to reason with him. So, tell him how happy it makes you, that you want to have a mutually satisfying sex life, and that you really would like him to do that for you more often. Don't accuse him of anything or try to guilt him into it by describing how great you are. Ask what you can do to make it better for him.
And, if that doesn't work, start giving head less often. I hate that approach - it's scorched earth, no one wins-policy, but if it's important enough, you may have to.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Don't insist and don't take it personally, I bet it has got nothing to do with your being clean enough ( which you are anyway ).
Everybody is different, some men simply do not enjoy that much this kind of sexual act, it does not provide them with enough stimulation,- same as, believe it or not, there are women who do not particularly like receiving oral sex.
Sure, he should "put himself in the mood " every now and then just to make you happy- but he is alreday doing that, isn't he ?
...............................
A
female
reader, syrop  +, writes (29 October 2010):
well some guys are really like delicate about these things. maybe he hate the idea of kissing a place where you know many dirty thing come out. it may also happen that you are having some dirty smell there. you may say its clean but you can never know!! like their are bacteria that cannot be seen however gave out some horror odour. try spraying some romantic perfume down there which will make him attracted. remember spray only a few minutes before you guys start making out. you can make the excuse of having to pee go into the toilet wash yourself properly. dry yourself completely. and spray the perfume. it shall work. do tell us if it works X
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (29 October 2010):
Some guys just don't like doing it... not a lot you can do about it really if he already knows that you want it more... You could try only going down on him when he goes down on you for a while.. maybe he'll see where your coming from when he asks for head and you say "I have to be in the mood for it".
...............................
|
