A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi am 29 many say am a good looking guy, thing is i have allways bin shy around women god knows why some girls ask how come u havnt got a gf ya such a lovely guything is am still a virgin i wanted to save myself for the right person am not religious or anythingnow i have only ever kissed somebodyi could have easly had one night stands etc like my friends but didnt think this is rightoften got women after me some have bin really fit but ive sort of pushed them away when they get close to mesome times i think am i normall will i find the right person?feeling a bit fed up about this now
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one night stand, shy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Waiting for the right one? That sounds like a bit of a reverse rationalization to me... Fact is you're scared and pushing people away whilst at the same time too shy to chase anyone... How do you expect to find anybody- let alone the "right one"?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm an incredibly shy 28 year old guy and I'm a virgin by choice too. My best friend has sex multiple times with random girls and has tons of one night stands, but whenever he tries to have a real relationship with a girl he always fails miserably. And lots of my other friends who are in relationships spend more than half their time having screaming match arguments with their girlfriend every time I see them. Sure I get depressed sometimes, but then I think to myself I'm very lucky to be able to do anything I want when I want and not have any of the stresses that my friends have who are in relationships. But if you want to meet I nice girl, I find places like clubs and bars are NOT the way to go. Just talk to girls at the bus stop, when you're food shopping at the grocery store or chat with the cute cashier girl at your local music store. The best thing to do is not think of each chat or meeting with a girl a failure if you don't get a phone number. Instead think of it just as a relaxed social practice talking with the opposite sex. Best of luck, man. You are not alone.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (28 October 2010):
 You are not the only one, and I admire you for waiting for the right woman.
I am a 27 year old virgin too, thru my choice only because I want it to be special with someone who cares and loves me, not just because they want to get sex. One night stands and casual flings do not interest me, and I never want to be a tart.
I understand how you feel, I get fed up, frustrated and very demoralised and I panic that I will never find anyone.
Good luck! If you are a nice guy you will find someone who loves and cares for you and will be very honoured that you waited for them :)
All I can say, is hang in there.
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 I'll try to break this down for you.
"some girls ask how come u havnt got a gf ya such a lovely guy"
Women always say that. It's intended to make you feel better, but that's all. Never listen unless the person saying it is actually trying to get with you herself.
"i could have easly had one night stands etc like my friends but didnt think this is right"
Good for you. One-night stands are no good for most people. Glad you have standards.
"often got women after me some have bin really fit but ive sort of pushed them away when they get close to me"
Well, that's obviously a problem. If you push them away, nothing's going to happen. Next time you get in a situation like that, keep going even when things get uncomfortable. You have to break out of your comfort zone if you're going to meet someone special.
"some times i think am i normall will i find the right person?"
You're normal, if a bit of a statistical outlier. As for the right person, there are millions of them, you just need to get it right with one of them. Go out, get out of your comfort zone, and take a few risks. Who dares, wins. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): Good on you for keeping to your morals:)
i believe the right person is out there for everyone its just a matter of finding them. Get yourself out there to be seen, maybe local sporting clubs of your interest? Take advantage of public festivals/gatherings/shows etc.
You always find the one when your not actually looking i think. Keep up with your personal interests and you may just meet someone along the way.
Goodluck!
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