A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 years old and i'm in love with my 15 year old cousin. I have told her how I feel about her and she told me she feels the same way. I was shocked when she told me she's in love with me too. We are now kissing cousins. I know my feelings for her are wrong but they feel right. I was her first kiss. She told me she has always wanted her first kiss first everything to be with me. She has a boyfriend right now and man I sure am jealous and worried. I have a girlfriend that is three months prego with my son or daughter and I already have three kids with another girl and my cousin is so great with them. My oldest daughter is almost four and she has called her mommy once or twice. My only son has too. Their mom left a year ago and never came back. I'm in love with my cousin and I don't know what to do about it. Anyone want to help me with this problem?
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female
reader, odeer123  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 Love is usually pure and a feeling that is mildly possessive but with lots of care, too; infatuation can be detected easily, when a persons says he loves someone, but is unwilling to talk, make any eye contact, or willing to do anything at all, but stay away, remaining shy. You'll know you are infatuated when you can't think of ANY faults of that person. Everyone's got faults; KNOWING his doesn't make your love "less pure". Lust can be known if your "love" shifts easily from one person to another, and is usually expressed through short physical/emotional (but mostly physical) relationships.Love is when you love the whole person (spirit, heart, mind and body), lust is when you only love part of them, which means that you see only part of the person as having value and that the whole person is not valuable.Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear.If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly, introspect. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?Romantic love is not an "eternal truth of the universe" for all relationships. As a concept, romantic love has only been in practice for a few hundred years. Don't assume that it is a requirement for a happy life long relationship, or that the most effective environment for finding such love is by dating. You may never feel 'in love' with the person who might be the perfect mate. You might just have someone who you decided you would like to make it work with. 'Love' or 'no love', both types of relationships require work to make them last.All of the above is various pieces of advice on distinguishing love from infatuation and lust.Something I would personally like to add is that being involved with your cousin is a dead end in any scenario. Having children with a cousin can cause deformities and diseases and is basically a taboo because of this and is virtually labelled as incest. If I found myself in your situation my priority would be my family's future. You can't have a future with your cousin. Quit fantasizing about possible romantic rendevous' with your cousin and focus on reality. I am sorry that your feelings for your cousin are causing you pain and uncertainty. The best way for you to move forward is to distance yourself from your cousin to gain some perspective.I think another good thing for you to hear is that anyone who's read your post is probably thinking 'I'm pretty damn sure he's not in love with her...' The thing is, true love means doing the right thing for both people involved. If your considering being with your cousin there are so many things that aren't 'right' about it that its obvious you aren't truly in love with her, and you're simply seeking a release.When you find someone you truly love, you can cope with being away from them, and you don't fuss over anxieties and you don't get butterflies or daydreams. True love is solid, and clear. True love is strong, and doesn't need questioning.Good luck my friend. Sort out this problem, and all of us will be proud of you. Find someone you truly love, and be honest and kind the whole way through.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Leave him alone yeh? I say go for it, i have the same kind of problem at the minuet, don't worry, but at least wait for her to be legal, and when she aint got a bf, everything'll be ok, good luck xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): Even though this is pretty much forbidden in the eyes of the law and most of the population, you can't hide your feelings. Noone can tell you who to love, you have to make that decision yourself. But you will never be looked at the same again and being excepted by your peers is a slim to no chance at all. But do what makes you happy...and you will be happy.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (26 October 2010):
Every father worst nightmare running free (you). Stop saying you love her that's a cop-out. You want to have sex with her or more of you will love to fuck her. Your own family member is off limits. "She told me she has always wanted her first kiss first everything to be with me." She told your that she wanted a family member to be the first sex she has. At 21 and only you and god knows how many kids you fathered truthfully. Its ok my tax dollars will feed them. You nor she gave any thought to the mess you already created. At what point will you think with your big head. She is old enough to consent to anyone. All those kids and you still wanna fuck. Good lord child grow up and become a man. Those previous ones (girlfriends) left because they finally see that large L on your forehead. Cousin. "I sure am jealous and worried." She has a bf so what are you worried about? I think I know...you think he'll take her virginity and that is you goal. To have sex with this virgin even if she your own family member. I hope you don't have a sister. Instead of teaching her your mistake and showing her how horrible your life is and how rotten hers will be with you. Your to busy trying to figure out how to fuck this girl. It will be a criminal act. What am I saying I bet you the police know you personally. Its not all your fault. The government handouts is aiding your bad decisions and as long as they keep sending you welfare checks or how ever they give it to you. You will keep making bad decisions. Now this cycle will continue. Look at what the kids has as a role model. (You)Here is what my advice to you is and you need to man-up to do this. Warn this young girl about you. Tell her none of your intentions with her are anyone else isn't good. Actually its all bad. Tell her you don't have a clue what love is or to love another person in any type of relationship except fucking. You're good at that. Well you get off I guess. Then call her mother and explain to her that you want to do her and if she was smart, she would keep her 15 year old daughter away from guys such as yourself. Post a warning sign on your apartment and state that you cannot be trust around any females. Call the social workers and tell them your kids needs a good loving home. Last but not least get a doll and a few porn movies I think you will figure it out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): you need to get vasectomy man. Your cousin is too young to take the responsibility with you. Don't let her be the next. A teenage mom to be if you guys won't learn your lessons. Think more. Look for someone else, focus on your children and leave your cousin alone. She can have a better life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): yea dude, your breaking the law. Get some help, take care of the children you have and who are on the way. Stop thinking about your littile 15 year old cousin. Let her have a life instead of trying to lead her on, shes a kid and shes your cousin. You dont want her to have a normal life?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): I'm not sure the fact that you love your 1st cousin is the biggest problem. In my opinion it is not a problem at all. The real problem here is you have several children to support and another on the way. As well your cousin is legally under age.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Hey, you have the same problem one of my relatives had.
I say "had" because he is in prison now. That is where you are headed.
Get some counseling, because if you don't you will be a sexual predator, and we can look at your pictures online like my relative.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 October 2010):
 You're old enough to know that not only is incest illegal but so is having sex with a minor..Of all the females in the U.S. you want to be with your cousin? 21 with 4 kids..oh 5 if you count your cousin because she is still a child. Let's see 3 kids to support, the other if she's smart she'll keep her child and nab you for child support. Hope you're at least done with college because a minimum wage job isn't going to cut it between 4 kids. Why don't you move back in with your parents they will help you with your parents, leave your 15 year old cousin alone, and look into getting a vasectomy. You DON'T need anymore children.
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A
male
reader, J.Gentleman  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 I say go for it
love is love
heck, you cant pick your family right?
if you two like it, do it, end of story man
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Yes, its called get psychological help. Keep your hormones under control and dont ever let some stupid emotion, esp for your cousin, which is illegal, drive any decision. Break this down logically and you'll see that even paris hilton would say it makes sense that u need help. sheesh.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Pretty simple really... just stay away from your cousin...
You seem to be looking for someone to be your kids mother figure- so much so that you're prepared to overlook stuff that REALLY shouldn't be... This is wrong dude, you know that already, so how bout listening to your conscience this one time?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (25 October 2010):
 So you impregnated a girl when you were 16 and since then have been incapable of keeping your dick in your pants.
I think you need to pack your kids up and take them to the nearest child welfare unit because you are an unfit person and then grab yourself by the scruff of the neck and frog march you into a family planning clinic for the snip, you cant be trusted to use regular precautions, right after that take yourself to the nearest police station, I am sure in most states in your wonderful country what you are about to do could be statutory rape.
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