A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidAbout two years ago I ment this girl while I was at a bar league softball game! At the time she was 19 and I was 24. I bought her a shot she bought me one back we had some small talk but I didnt have enough courage to persue her! A few weeks later I was in a serious car accident and never got to see her again until this past year at a friends house warming party which was two years after the first time I met her! We started talking and never quite! We hung out for about 3 months before we got a ittle more serious and now have been together for 5 months! I never in my wildest dreams have every thought something like this would happen to me its like a fairy tail! She is my reason for waking up in the morning , she is funny, sweet and a joy to be around and to me she is breath taking! She is by far the best thing that has ever walked into my life!We dated for about a month and then I found out about her not so good past! I found out she had slept with about 10 guys before me and fooled around with a few more! She didnt know the exact number cause she never counted and really didnt want to know! She never wanted me to get caught up in her messing past being that I actually goet to know who she really was. I was heart broken when I found out! I wanted to run and couldnt believe I found someone that had all the qualities I was looking for and then this had to happen but I couldnt run!The thought of another man touching her drives me crazy. She had a rougher past with parents getting divorsed and grandmother dieng and her sister moving to another state for college! So must of her past was during high school and there were a few guys after but about 90% was in high school which was 3 years ago. She had been drinking and partying almost every weekend since she was 15 so almost all of this happened when she was drunk! She said the guys seemed like they cared and they said sweet things and she wanted to make them happy so she slept with them or fooled around with them, she knew them all and she really didnt know how or why but it just happened! She is not proud of her past but it is part of who she was but not who she is anymore! I would imagine there are many situations like this in the world so Im not alone! Its so hard for me to imagine her doing all this because it just dont seem at like the girl I feel in love with would do such things! Her past had bugged me a lot and I was wondering if I should really go any further with our relationship! But being that I am 26 and have been with 3 girls before her all of which were in relationships I just felt I couldnt judge her for her past by any means because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes its part of growing up! I cant get over the number however but yet know I also cant let her past dictate our future which in my heart tells me it could be a great one together! I know I wont leave her but I guess some reassurance is always a good thing that my thinking and reasoning here is correct! She asked me not to run and that she would spend every day that we are together proving to me she is worth it! She told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and what we have was more important and true to her than the drunken moments of her past!I love this girl she is everything I have ever dreamed of and I have and would do anything to make her day brighter! I know I can trust her with all my heart and she has told me I was the first guy she has ever felt this way about and as ever told them she loved them! I know I can only accept what has happend and move on and I think that is the best thing I can do! I cant rewrite history and I dont want to wonder what could have been! I guess my thinking here is I should just let this all go and live the moment with the girl I got to know and feel in love with! She is a wonderful sweet girl and deserves to be happy and cared about and treated respect for once in her life so it mine as well be me! I still have my days of the whos whats and hows of her past and we still do go out in her hometown where most of this stuff happened! I struggle with it from time to time when I see guys and wonder if he was one she was with but know it doenst matter much cause she is with me know! I guess I would just like to know if my thinking is correct! If since she loves me and I love her that I shouldnt let this past bug me that I should just be a strong genuine man and make her happy everyday that I can?
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drunk, grandmother, her past, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Should it bug you? Shouldn't it?
It makes no difference what it should do. It only matters what it actually is doing. And that is bugging you very badly.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 If she didn't have the past that she had, she might not have been able to recognize the good qualities in you...
Without her past she wouldn't be who she is today and she probably wouldn't have even met you, let alone be dating you...
Blessing in disguise?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): I agree with Cerberus. We do stupid things when we're growing up. And it sounds like this girl had troubled teen years. She was probably trying to fill some emotional hole in her heart and didn't care about any of those other guys.
I think she's telling you the truth. She loves you and you love her. So leave the past in the past. Be glad you have this girl in your life.
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A
male
reader, wolfred bane  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 she had a troubled past, and needs a shoulder to cry on. accept her, her past and all and be there for her.tell her her past dosent matter as you are there for her.u love her.she has put all her hopes on u. come on! don't disgrace us men by letting her down.im with u all the way! hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 You answered your own question and quite brilliantly I might add. Yes, she is with you now and that is all that matters. We all have our secrets, many of which we are not proud of. Yes it is a part of growing up. What she has done is not so dark at all. When she is with you, your arms wrapped around her as you kiss her with a cheer inside, will you truly care about what she did in the past? No. So go on and make her happy as she does with you. Make each other smile and love each other because this relationship is something worth cherishing.
I hope that helps.
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