A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i want to bring up the topic of a threesome with some friends of mine (they're the couple), but don't know how to go about it. i wanted to know, hopefully from couples who've done this sort of thing before, what would be the best way to open the subject? and how would i know they're interested, if they were at all interested beforehand? does it matter at all if they're married? or is it all the same, since i'm the outsider? should i just hope that they bring it up?
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male
reader, Itsjustflirting +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Sorry this is a little late. It's not as hard as you think. Your best bet would be to get a few drinks in the (not hammered, just enough to loosten inhibitions) then, when you are alone with them, bring up a conversation. Make it up. Like"I was watching this show the other day" or something similar. Ask them outright, have you guys ever thought about doing that? See their reaction. That will give you a BIG clue if they are open to the idea or not. You REALLY need to get an idea how they feel about it before approaching them.
Next, you would maybe want to bring it up to the male first, privatly. You are in a touchy situation with this. If you value your friendship, you need to walk softly on the ice. I have been in both mmf and fmf. Both were fun. If a girl approached us, we'd be fine. If one of my friends asked me, it'd be a different story.
You're best bet...if you really wanna do your buddies woman, is to bring your own to the party. Check out local swingers boards or call your girl friends. Or even one of her friends. When it's a couple approaching them, it will be a lot easier. If a buddy came to me and said my girlfriend wants to do ya, it sounds way better than him say I wanna do your wife/gf. It's not to hard to find a swing partner that will take one for the team for ya.
You're only other real safe option, is to hint that you'd be into it if he wanted to bring in a guy. You pretty much have to get him to ask you in. It all depends if it's something he would want. If they have been hinting to you about it, then just come out and ask.
If you want in to be with him, then I can't help ya there as that's not my cup of tea.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): I agree with the other posters, this could easily ruin your friendship. I don't think it would be possible for the three of you to remain friends it they said no. If you have a reason to believe that they are into threesomes, you should talk to the guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): I've had a threesome before with my boyfriend's guy friend and he just came right out and said he wanted to join us...Lol I was a bit weirded out but my boyfriend seemed to not care. So, your best bet would probably be to pull the guy in the relationship aside and ask him while you guys are alone. Since guys are more understanding then girls about these things, mention it to him but before hand tell him you have a question for him and if he decides he doesn't want to, then make sure it doesn't make the friendship weird. After having threesome's with my boyfriend's friend, thing's aren't awkward at all. So your best bet would be to mention it to him and NOT to her.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 Hah, yeh, its normally the couple that invites the outsider in...
Trying to invite yourself into your friends bedroom is a fantastic way to lose those friends...
Try an adult dating site if you want to try joining a threesome.
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A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 Have they given you any indication that this is something they'd be interested in? If not then you'd be crazy to bring it up! There's a chance that they'd be up for it but if they're not then you are going to ruin the freindship you have with them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Where lies a relationship should lie extreme caution as no two heads on ur body are the same. Use the one thats up and not down my man and youll see clearly what risks there could be for others. Good luck with your decision.
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