Did I handle things wrong? Need some encouraging words
Q. Back in December I attended a Christmas work party. They had hired some hostesses to go around the party and offer different food and drinks. I spoke to one of them and she seemed more receptive to conversation than the others. I spoke to her a few ...
A. 7 July 2024: Good for you! Glad you met someone who wanted to be with you as much as you wanted to be with her.
Best of luck to you both!... (read in full...)
I got involved with engaged co worker and made her choose
Q. Hi everyone! Here's my situation: two and a half years ago a new coworker arrived into the company I've been working with for the last 7 years. A couple of weeks after she arrived, she started to flirt with me in a real intense way, I mean, she...
A. 29 May 2024: " I also would like to ask her if HE knew about our flirt in order to put the whole story to an end."
Don't.
By asking you are making it seem like you still have the hots for her (which you might but you need to rein that in) - instead STOP giv... (read in full...)
Where and how did things deteriorate to this extent with my brother and his wife?
Q. I got married 8 years ago. My wife is stunning, intelligent and everything that I (or anyone) could ever ask for. My parents were very happy when I introduced her to them, as was my brother. My brother is a couple of years younger to me and was ...
A. 2 May 2024: Oh, your poor brother and those poor kids!
Sounds like YOUR wife did nothing wrong, the SIL is just a sad and envious person.
My guess is your brother stepped on his own dick and at some point, called your wife pretty or gorgeous in SIL'... (read in full...)
Is it time to leave the marriage?
Q. My husband doesn't value me and doesn't believe me, I feel like I have to "prove" things to him. I've been married for 9 years, my husband and I get along well and are good friends. If we could afford to live separately, our marriage would p...
A. 2 May 2024: What is your goal?
To be financially secure or to have a happy marriage?
It seems you can't "quite" have both with this guy. At least not the latter.
The thing is OP, your partner doesn't KNOW how to fulfill your needs. He was probably N... (read in full...)
How do you help your partner through depression?
Q. How do you help your partner through depression? My partner has outbursts of rage where he pushes me away, then he he's back to himself and back to the man I love. Then cycles. When he's in these rages he's told me that he doesn't want to be wi...
A. 2 May 2024: As much as it sucks, you can't FIX this for him.
He might not be able to do it on his own, especially if he refuses medication that could help.
I think the ONLY thing you can do is TALK to him when he is in a better "mood". He needs to at leas... (read in full...)
Am I just jealous of his ex?
Q. A long time FWB had open heart surgery recently. I told him I would help with whatever I could when he gets home as he lives alone. His ex-wife stepped in and started filling up his refrigerator, took care of his cat, and has been there every night ...
A. 27 April 2024: You are an FWB, she is an ex-WIFE - big difference.
I get why you feel less important, because you are less important to him. He is #1, the ex wife (because she knows what he likes and how to take care of him, she is familiar) is#2 and you aren... (read in full...)
My ex ended things by attacking me verbally
Q. My partner of 4 years just ended things with me, I'm absolutely heartbroken. I thought wee were okay. Yeah wee had problems but always worked through them, he was good with my daughter too. It's not just that he ended it he ended it in the most ...
A. 27 April 2024: Now I might be wrong here, but my guess is that he attacked you verbally to get you off balance, so you won't realize that He did something messed up, (like, cheating).
Sometimes the best defense is an offence.
That is my guess, HE either... (read in full...)
No sex drive with ex partner
Q. i broke up with my partner of 7 years in february, i did not feel sexually attracted to him anymore we argued all the time i did not even want to kiss him but stayed with him purely as we have two kids. I met someone else just for sex and found my...
A. 27 April 2024: You are not attracted to your ex. You are not sexually compatible.
Learn to co-parent the best way you can for your kids.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend showing signs of insecurity or controlling? Title (e.g. My husband is
Q. I have known him for about 2 years, between this time we were friends and we grew closer together to the point where we admitted we had feelings for each other. We started dating recently in February this year, however he has shown some signs of ...
A. 27 April 2024: I have so many questions..
You write:" I had said to him to not slap my butt in public or anything inappropriate to make people stare."
HAS he ever slapped your but in public or done anything inappropriate to make set that boundary with hi... (read in full...)
Did I send a mixed message?
Q. From what I gather a girl who is someone I know and who is friends with one of my friends told him I like/have a crush on him. I never told her that but since me and this guy were fairly close and people know how I admire him or talk to him I guess ...
A. 23 April 2024: Sounds like the "friend of a friend" was thinking she was "helping" you two get together by telling him you had a crush on him.
I have to ask, how old is she? 12?
Maybe tell her to stay out of your business? Tell her to stop ruining your fri... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with me skipping my high school reunions?
Q. My 20 year high school reunion is coming up in a few months. I never made any of my reunions (5 year reunion, 10 year reunion, or my 15 year reunion). I was bullied by a few students and most of the students just acted like I didn't exist. T...
A. 23 April 2024: "Is there anything wrong with me skipping my high school reunions?"
Absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you don't want to go, then don't.
"How do I get people to stop trying to convince me to go?"
Just say you have other (and better p... (read in full...)
Interested in a perfectionist
Q. I am trying to get a friend to open up and be herself around me. She is a self proclaimed perfectionist and very hard on herself. I sometimes think she likes me and puts pressure on herself for things to be a certain way. As you can imagine it makes ...
A. 18 April 2024: Opening up to someone is a choice, not something you can "force".
It doesn't seem to me like she wants to be as close friends with you as you want to be with her.
"Still she seems to keep me at arms length"
GIVE her the respect and stop pus... (read in full...)
I deserve to be treated better. How do I move on from my husband?
Q. I am feeling so depressed. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We have a 5yo, 8yo and 12yo. My husband has been depressed for the longest while due to finances. Things started looking up for us early last year, but by July/August things ...
A. 14 April 2024: "How do I move on?"
You tell family and friends what's going on.
You file for divorce and child support/maintenance and division of assets if there are any.
You file for visitation schedule with the courts (he might want to give up visitati... (read in full...)
3 years into the relationship I find out my boyfriend lied about his age
Q. Hello I found out after being on a relationship for 3 years that my boyfriend has lied about his age by 4 years. When I confronted him he didn't even bother to give an explanation. Which has made matters worse. I'm questioning if he has told other ...
A. 14 April 2024: Well, I agree it IS a major red flag. Here is why I think it's a red flag.
Like you said the AGE isn't the issue, the fact that he LIED is the issue.
Because WHAT ELSE relevant or irrelevant is he lying about?
"When I confronted him he didn... (read in full...)
My aunt embarrassed me in front of everyone at the wedding & I dread facing everyone now!!
Q. Basically what happened we all attended a family members wedding last week. After the wedding breakfast and before the evening doo my aunt decided she wanted to go back to my house to freshen up - she left a change of clothes at my house as I...
A. 13 April 2024: OP,
Everyone sweats, everyone stinks from time to time. EVERYONE knows this.
Your aunt is a cow. And EVERYONE at the wedding knows it.
So she "borrowed" a cardigan and she made a big to do about nothing out of the smell on it... No big deal... (read in full...)
Neighbors haven't been supportive since the death of our dog!
Q. We have known our neighbors for 12 years and have always got on well- we both had dogs which we took walking together, plus we’d look after each others dogs from time to time. 4 years ago their dog died, as soon as my husband and found out w...
A. 9 April 2024: While I can understand how you feel, and I'm sorry for your loss, I think it's a little unrealistic to expect others to do the same as you did.
What you did was kind and generous. And it was what felt RIGHT to you, to your husband.
But thi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend followed the same girl my ex cheated on me with.
Q. Hi. Can I please have some advice if or when you have the time? I don't know what to do. I was with my ex for 2 years; we were pretty serious at the time. We ended it after those two years because he cheated on me with my "friend." This "...
A. 8 April 2024: Just ask him straight up where he knows her from. If he asks you why, tell him, humor me.
Hopefully, that will give him the opening to tell YOU where he knows her from.
Depending on what he says, you have to make a choice, either tell him ... (read in full...)
My friend/roommate went through my anxiety medication and told everyone.
Q. TW: mental health concerns My roommate confronted me while we were drunk the other day. She told me she went into my room "by accident while looking for me" and "accidentally" came upon my anxiety/depression medication. She said that because she...
A. 8 April 2024: I think you should look for a new room-mate the one you have is a toxic cow. But for now, get a lock on your door.
DO NOT divulge any private information or medical history, it's none of her business!
You mentioned " she's studying psychol... (read in full...)
Overbearing mother and partner getting on my nerves
Q. Hi this is not a relationship problem but a family problem I am nearly 40 years old with 2 sons the problem is my mother wont leave me alone I lost my dad 3 years ago she wasn’t there for me or my sisters when we lost him they had been split up 16 ...
A. 5 April 2024: Sit your mom down and set boundaries and be honest with her. If she cannot abide by your boundaries, limit the contact with her for a while so she will understand that you mean what you say.
If they show up unannounced, don't open the door.
... (read in full...)
I want to divorce the town I live in
Q. I want a divorce- from the town I live in. I hate North Carolina SO much that I'm too sad and angry to pray to God We moved here from another U.S. state when I was a teenager, but I can't adjust, because it's toxic. To say that I'm in extr...
A. 5 April 2024: You are in your 40's so old enough to make a plan to move elsewhere.
But be realistic. The grass isn't always greener elsewhere.
I think you are being a little OTT.
NC didn't stop you from learning to ride. A state can't do that.
NC di... (read in full...)
Should I just be straight to the point?
Q. I have been really struggling with my husband for so long; I no longer know what to do. I have become hopeless however my main concern, despite everything else i.e. I complained of him not being compassionate enough when I am sick...e.g I have been ...
A. 31 March 2024: Maybe you should focus on dealing with your past trauma? Find a good counselor/therapist?
As for your husband telling you to get straight to the point when it comes to what you need when sick, I kind of get it. But it's really not too complica... (read in full...)
I got involved with engaged co worker and made her choose
Q. Hi everyone! Here's my situation: two and a half years ago a new coworker arrived into the company I've been working with for the last 7 years. A couple of weeks after she arrived, she started to flirt with me in a real intense way, I mean, she...
A. 31 March 2024: What is it that you like about her?
Her lack of respect for her fiancé? For you? For really any man?
Her lack of morals and decorum?
The fact that she NEVER really cared about you? Because she didn't. ALL she seems to care about is getting... (read in full...)
When do I tell people that I'm asexual
Q. When should I tell people I'm asexual? I've had too many situations where people (including and especially the guy himself) think a guy and I are dating/would be great together and I have to clear that up ASAP. I do the best I can to let him save ...
A. 29 March 2024: Honestly, OP
Your sexual preference/orientation is YOUR business and no one else. I know these days it's all about having a "label", but people are MORE than just a insert label.
If your coworkers keep trying to set you up, I WOULD tell them ... (read in full...)
Falling in love unintentionally to my best friend's boyfriend. Title (e.g. My
Q. It's hard to put into words the mess of emotions swirling inside me lately. I've found myself caught in a whirlwind of feelings I never expected to have, all because of my best friend's boyfriend. It started innocently enough. When I first met...
A. 29 March 2024: You know what you need to do.
Take a 100% break from seeing your BFF when her BF is there. Only meet up with her. Don't be around him. It DOESN'T matter if he is making YOU feel special. HE is dating YOUR best friend!!
I think the more you s... (read in full...)
Did I handle things wrong? Need some encouraging words
Q. Back in December I attended a Christmas work party. They had hired some hostesses to go around the party and offer different food and drinks. I spoke to one of them and she seemed more receptive to conversation than the others. I spoke to her a few ...
A. 27 March 2024: I know that you meant well, it's kind of clear to see. However, you seem a bit oblivious that the woman was WORKING an event, SHE wasn't there for men to hit on her.
At the first even, she turned you down in the NICEST way she could think of, and ... (read in full...)
Partner's cousin is having a wedding, but don't want to attend. Title (e.g. My husband is
Q. Hello all, My partner's cousin is getting married this year, but I am not overly thrilled about the idea of going. However, I feel like I need to go for my partner's sake and, well, because my partner is basically saying I have to go. The reas...
A. 25 March 2024: While I understand that sometimes we "HAVE" to participate in things we don't want to, but I absolutely get not wanting to participate in this wedding.
You call him partner, so are you or are you not married?
If you are not married, you CER... (read in full...)
I don't hear from him alot does it mean he isn't keen on me?
Q. i feel silly writing this but if a guy doesn’t constantly text me all the time or go a few days without texting does that mean he is not keen when we meet he says he likes me and is starting to get feelings but could it be because he is texting a ...
A. 25 March 2024: Constantly texting doesn't equate to caring or liking someone.
How often someone text is about habit and personality.
Or he doesn't want to come across as "too keen".
Could it mean he is talking/texting a lot of other people? Also, poss... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be friends with my ex on social media
Q. I am happily married to my husband who I met ten years ago. However an ex boyfriend from when I was 17-18 added me on social media. I accepted because there are no feelings there and I didn’t see the harm in being on good terms as it was so long ...
A. 22 March 2024: I forgot to add,
If you need/want more friends, try and make some with people you haven't slept with. Or maybe of the same sex as yourself.
Sounds a little bit like you are caught up in the attention the ex is giving you. Ego boost.
HOW w... (read in full...)
Could this lead to love
Q. I have met this guy a couple of times and i have this electric undeniable connection with him, i don’t know him that well at all but when we kiss it’s amazing i know it’s not love but could this connection lead to love i have never had this before ...
A. 22 March 2024: Attraction and lust is not love.
But... it CAN lead to love. It can also lead to heartbreak.
You never know. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.
GO SLOW. take your time getting to know him AS a person, IN person. Spend time around him.
... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be friends with my ex on social media
Q. I am happily married to my husband who I met ten years ago. However an ex boyfriend from when I was 17-18 added me on social media. I accepted because there are no feelings there and I didn’t see the harm in being on good terms as it was so long ...
A. 22 March 2024: Your husband has a lot of trust in your and I DO think he expect you to know what the right thing to do it...
"He didn’t ask me to remove him but I feel like I should"
You should remove this ex. HE is NOT a friend. He is not ACTING like a fr... (read in full...)
Boyfriends father is causing problems with us moving in together
Q. I would like to move in with my partner and he would like to move in with me but his father insists on using his name for everything and not putting his own name on anything. This is getting to a point that its seeming like we will never be able to ...
A. 22 March 2024: Well, unless your BF STOPS allowing his dad to USE his name for property (why does he do that anyways? that sounds SUSS as feck! - you will not be having both your names on a place.
Can you not rent a place in your name and have your BF live the... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop?
Q. I work at my church as a secretary but now I'm afraid this stranger is going to send a link to my sex blog to my employers and potentially ruin me. I have never looked at or worked on my blogs outside my home. I have a regular one where I blog about ...
A. 17 March 2024: Do you know who he could be?
If so BLOCK him from your blog.? Set up some security on the blog? (if possible)
If you get outed, you get outed, you CHOSE to put a sex blog out there, it's unreasonable to expect no one will find it. YOU are resp... (read in full...)
They hate the fact we are doing so well!
Q. After a rocky few years with my health issues and some financial issues things have started to turn around for me and my husband for the better however it seems that some so called friends and even some family aren’t really happy for us and ...
A. 17 March 2024: Are these "people" someone you care about? Do you care about their opinions?
If not, ignore it.
If you do care about them, ASK them straight up, why do you say that to me, after knowing how hard the last few years has been for us? Can you not ... (read in full...)
Why does she want a black dildo
Q. Hi, my gf 27, me 34. recently mentioned she wants a dildo. So I said I will look for her. When we were looking she pointed she wanted a black one. We are white. So it made me think is she into black men? She doesn’t watch porn but I don’t know if ...
A. 17 March 2024: The only one who knows the answer to this question is HER. So, ask her?... (read in full...)
Why does she want a black dildo
Q. Hi, my gf 27, me 34. recently mentioned she wants a dildo. So I said I will look for her. When we were looking she pointed she wanted a black one. We are white. So it made me think is she into black men? She doesn’t watch porn but I don’t know if ...
A. 17 March 2024: test
... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go? Help!
Q. Please can I get some career advice - I’m so torn….. I’ve been working for this company in customer services for almost 18 years. I’ve always felt a bit over looked and never really given much opportunity to progress - unfortunately it...
A. 16 March 2024: The fact that your current job didn't want to PAY you more until you handed in your notice should tell you how LITTLE they actually valued you.
They KNEW they had a good employee in you but they CHOSE not to pay you more, they CHOSE to USE you ... (read in full...)
Would it be acceptable for my cousin to walk me down the aisle at my wedding?
Q. When I was 19 years old, I had a one night stand with a friend and ended up pregnant. My parents, who always been judgemental and verbally abusive kicked me out when they found out. My cousin, Justin, who is a year older than me, was always close...
A. 15 March 2024: Sure, why not?
If your hubby is OK with that, then why not?
It's your and your husband's wedding! Do what you want!... (read in full...)
Is he normal following girls 1/2 his age on social media?
Q. My boyfriend who is 42 years old has an Instagram account where he added over 100 girls half his age, shaking their boobs and butts. So last month, my BF decided to create an Instagram account because he wanted to follow some singers and foodies....
A. 13 March 2024: I think IF a guy is single (or gal) they can follow whomever they like. It's all good.
I do think once you get married it's no longer appropriate to do so.
Men are no more "visual being" than women.
And yes, EVERYONE likes to look a... (read in full...)
I ended things with my ex but now feel sad and confused
Q. I feel so heartbroken right now, I have told my ex I want nothing more to do with him as I can't take the emotional torment anymore. Wee wee were together for four years and in that time wee have had some really good times but really really ba...
A. 12 March 2024: I'm so sorry for your loss of your grandma.
I think your EX has issues with intimacy (not the "sexy kind") but the interpersonal kind.
Breaking up IS the best choice, he isn't what you WANT in a partner.
Buying gifts and spending money isn't... (read in full...)
A friend told me that my husband is having an affair
Q. I’ve been told that my husband of 25 years is having an affair with a woman we know. The person who told me has said they’ve been seen together in places they shouldn’t be and that it’s been going on a long time. There is no proof and he’s never ...
A. 12 March 2024: I guess it comes down to trust.
Do you trust your husband? Or your friend more?
I think you jumped the gun (unfortunately) by accusing him without any evidence.
If I were you, I would pull back with the accusations and pay closer attention... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a good man but is it time to walk away
Q. I have been with my partner for four years when I met him he was amazing and wee just seemed to click. I also have a young daughter and after about a year he started offering days out with her too, which made me fall in love with him more that he ...
A. 12 March 2024: I forgot to add,
He can be a "Good man" but not a "GOOD man" for YOU.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a good man but is it time to walk away
Q. I have been with my partner for four years when I met him he was amazing and wee just seemed to click. I also have a young daughter and after about a year he started offering days out with her too, which made me fall in love with him more that he ...
A. 12 March 2024: You have to decide if this works for you long term or not.
I think it IS a total dealbreaker to say things like:"
hurtful things to me like he doesn't love me and doesn't want to be with me "
I do get that he SHOWS love but that doesn't mea... (read in full...)
Crazy man I've never met will not leave me alone
Q. I matched with a guy online. We have FaceTimed one and agreed to meet on date however before the date I changed my mind as he was very pushy and whilst at work he sent me repeated messages despite knowing I was at work asking why I was ignoring him, ...
A. 10 March 2024: Yikes!
Whatever social media you are on, SET your privacy settings ASAP. Especially your pictures.
Set them so only "friends" or "mutuals" can see your posts.
As much as it SUCKS - get a new phone number.
Also, call the Police and ask... (read in full...)
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