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Should I stay or should I go? Help!

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Question - (15 March 2024) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2024)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Please can I get some career advice - I’m so torn…..

I’ve been working for this company in customer services for almost 18 years. I’ve always felt a bit over looked and never really given much opportunity to progress - unfortunately it’s always been a case of “not what you know, it’s who you know” when it came to promotions as well as brown nosing!!

It never really bothered me - I was just happy to have a wage coming in and it as close to home (I don’t drive) I can walk there plus the hours are good - no weekends.

I did try looking for work elsewhere a couple of times but never successful so I just made my peace with staying put.

Now the company that my husband works for is expanding and I went for an interview as they are looking for people in customer services. I was actually offered the job as a senior member of staff, the pay is much more, same hours (no weekends) and I get to work from home 4 days a week and the one day I do go in, to the office I can go in with my husband- even though he’s in a different department to me. My husband has worked for them for 8 years ‘ doesn’t have a bad word to say!

I verbally accepted the job and handed in my notice…

My current employer apparently doesn’t want to lose me as they “value” me so they have matched the pay and agreed I can work from home 3 days a week. Plus they reminded me that when I get to 20 years I get extra holiday.

Do I stay put or go?

Obviously starting somewhere new and learning a new role is scary which is the only thing making me hesitant to leave.

But then I think about how many years I’ve had in one place and should opt for a change as I am getting bored.

But what if I leave and hate it?

Help!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2024):

Do you value yourself? Could be that your company did value you and didn't know you were discontented. If they've given you a big salary increase and change of terms then it sounds like they do value you.

Could you tell them you'd like something more interesting to do? It's worth looking at the possibilities. It's natural to feel a bit apprehensive about a new job but don't let that put you off if it's what you want.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2024):

Take the job. It is better. End of story.

Why is it better? Because they have given you a super salary, senior position and perks and that's your starting point!

Your soon to be former company, I hope, never valued you. They would have been happy to leave things as they were. You would never ever see that kind of money had you not decided to leave. I know what I am talking about. I'm still working a crappy job, BUT I decided to leave no matter what.

I started looking for another position and it's hard, because employers are looking for cheap deals. And if a job is paid well, you can bet that they'll employ someone they know. But I have to leave because I am not valued. None of my colleagues are. The management is treating us as if we were replaceable. Nobody stays longer than a couple of years and the company's reputation suffers, but obviously not enough for the big bosses to consider stuffing their pocket less.

If I don't leave now, I'll be bitter and I will start hating my work. You will too if you stay there. Would you stay with a husband who agreed to start treating you like crap when he realized that you had some other options and that you would leave him?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2024):

It baffles me how people negotiate extra pay. I have been top performer but always shown the door if I asked for more. I have taken pay cuts each job I move onto. My female colleagues on the other hand got promoted when I know they are not doing the job better and they have a laid back careless attitude towards work whereas I hit targets Year on year.

I once had a manager who got rid of the whole team one by one. I was the last one standing. I knew if he fired me he would not survive. And he used me to train new staff and than fired me.

As a result that branch suffered, as new staff couldn’t replace old staff quickly and both managers lost their job and the branch got downsized next year so to not hitting targets.

My old colleagues often look back and wonder why he did that when we did so well.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2024):

kenny agony auntI think as you have applied for this new job you should now stick to your guns and take this new exciting opportunity.

Why did your current employer offer you this while you were still working there?. The fact that they are now offering you this now they know your leaving say's it all really.

Have you got a pension with your current job, i am sure you have but make sure its transferable, or if the new employer offers a decent one.

They sound like a good place to work, the fact your husband has been there 8 years is a good sign.

Good luck in your new job.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2024):

I agree with what's already been written by the respondents.

The company you currently work for, like so many companies, seems more than willing to extract as much out of staff as possible and short-changing you as a result.

If they were offering you a further incentive to stay - ie. several years of back-pay for underpaying you and several years worth of holidays that you could have had and something else to compensate for not allowing you to work from home before then maybe, just maybe, you could stay. BUT personally, I would make the move.

A major reason for this is that staying in one company for too long can ultimately look too 'cosy' on your CV, and can indicate fear of new things.

Your present company may seem like they. are valuing you now that they are making these offers to you BUT bear in mind they are probably only trying to avoid the inconvenience to themselves of finding someone just as good as you who will be similarly willing to be taken for granted for nearly two decades.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2024):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI have always maintained that, if I am worth a certain amount of money, then that is what you should be paying me. Don't suddenly decide to pay it me when I look to leave.

Six months down the line, the new job won't be so new any longer and, hopefully, your new employers will have fairer career progression opportunities.

Never stay somewhere you are not truly happy because you are afraid of the unknown.

Good luck in your new job.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 March 2024):

Honeypie agony auntThe fact that your current job didn't want to PAY you more until you handed in your notice should tell you how LITTLE they actually valued you.

They KNEW they had a good employee in you but they CHOSE not to pay you more, they CHOSE to USE you for all that they could.

Starting a new job IS scary, but also a challenge.

I can't tell you what you should do.

I can tell you what I would do. And that is, take the new job.

Customer Service is SUCH an overlooked job, the fact that you have done it for almost 18 years is amazing.

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