A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My 20 year high school reunion is coming up in a few months. I never made any of my reunions (5 year reunion, 10 year reunion, or my 15 year reunion). I was bullied by a few students and most of the students just acted like I didn't exist. The high school I attended was a private school and they claimed that the school was a family. To me, I attended the school, I got an education at the school, but I was never a part of the "school's family". I attended the school, I wasn't a part of the school. People have been reaching out to me on Facebook trying to convince me to go. The thing is, I just don't want to go. I stayed in contact with the people who I want to stay in contact. There are a lot of people from high school that I prefer to never see ever again. Is there anything wrong with me skipping my high school reunions? How do I get people to stop trying to convince me to go?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2024): The only reason for people to try to get you to those reunions is for their gain, not yours. They are being nosy, or curious, however you wish to put it. They want closure on how you turned out. They aren't thinking of you, they're thinking of themselves. You owe nobody anything.I was in your shoes, and I also ditched my school reunion because (likely being the same as you) the bullies from my school never grew up. They seldom do. More often than none, bullies remain that way for life. It's rare that they see any wrong in their actions and the reunion would only trigger bad memories once you see them again.I can never understand the point of reunions from high school to be honest, I see them as pointless. I've no idea what people gain other than an option to gloat about their success to a bunch of people (now strangers) who don't care. The only thing you all have in common is that you all attended the same institution as a teen, the most awful years of many people's lives and all down to each other when it comes down to it.I guess you can read between the lines of my rant that, there is nothing wrong with ditching your high school reunion for the sake of your mental health above all else. You owe nobody nothing!
A
female
reader, Tinytina +, writes (23 April 2024):
Hi, no there’s nothing wrong with not going to the reunions. It will only evoke the negative memories you had from the past. Move on with your life and make more positive memories
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2024): No you absolutely do not need to go. If you don't want to, just tell the people reaching out to you on Facebook etc that you are busy that day or that you just don't feel like going.
Having said that, I don't see why you should let the bullies of the past stop you from getting to see old friends or getting back in contact with people you lost touch with many years ago. Perhaps there might be some benefit in you going, especially if some people you are still friendly with will be there? It might help free you from thr bad memories of the past?
There is no reason you have to attend for the whole day/evening. You could just pop along for an hour and then leave again. And if you don't go, you will never know what you missed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2024): Not at all ! At least..that's something that never crossed my mind. I didn 't attend any high school reunion . I was not bullied or anything , in fact it was for me a very fun and interesting time of which I have good memories. Just, the few people with whom I was really close friend then, and that I wanted to stay in my life - have stayed in my life and I can see them anytime I want, they are just a call or text away. All the others, nice people I guess ,but , if for whatever reason I wasn't close to them or interested in them, and I have managed to do without them 5 , or 10 , or 20 years without missing them - I don't see the reason to take any particular pain to reconnect . Said brutally , I don't care. But one cannot care on a personal ,intimate level for all the people whom one has come in touch with in a whole life !
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 April 2024):
 "Is there anything wrong with me skipping my high school reunions?"
Absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you don't want to go, then don't.
"How do I get people to stop trying to convince me to go?"
Just say you have other (and better plans that day). No need to explain further. OR you can just say nah not interested. If they keep asking you keep saying no.
No - is in fact a whole sentence.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2024): Absolutely nothing wrong in staying away. You're in contact with those you like so would it be an idea to have a smaller reunion with them? Sounds like they are the family you chose.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (22 April 2024):
 No there is nothing wrong with not wanting to go. You are a grown man and really don't need to make excuses to people other than to say "I don't wish to go". Some people have very fond memories of high school, some don't. I had some friends in high school and was in band, chorus, etc but never really felt close to people and couldn't wait to graduate. I grew up in a small town and everyone knew everyone. I wasn't the least bit sad when I moved 1/2 way across the country a few years after high school. I haven't been to one of my reunions and have no desire to go. The administrators that work on them can't get in touch with me so they reach out to my family?? I mean what the heck is that about? My mom will tell me and I'm like "whatever...I have no desire to see people from 30 plus years ago that didn't care about me then and would just have nose trouble now.
Be happy and live your life darling. I left high school where it belongs...in the past.
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