A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am happily married to my husband who I met ten years ago. However an ex boyfriend from when I was 17-18 added me on social media. I accepted because there are no feelings there and I didn’t see the harm in being on good terms as it was so long ago, I’d have been happy to treat him like any other old friend. We got on very well and any feelings I assumed were long gone. We had a brief conversation and liked a few of each others pictures. Disappointingly though he started reacting to pictures of me with heart eye emoji or the flame emoji. Obviously this crosses a line and my husband was not impressed. He didn’t ask me to remove him but I feel like I should. I am a bit gutted because I thought we could be friends again, should I message to say that I am cool with being on good terms but I don’t want him being flirty or we can’t, or would it be best to just leave it? Like I said we got on well so the potential for friendship was there but I feel like it’s off the table now. Would love some unbiased opinions
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (22 March 2024):
 I think that ex's are ex's for a reason and should be left in the past where they belong.
I think you should delete this ex before the situation causes complications in your marriage, and that's the last thing you want.
Leave the past on the past, delete and block this ex and concentrate on the here and now.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 March 2024):
 I forgot to add,
If you need/want more friends, try and make some with people you haven't slept with. Or maybe of the same sex as yourself.
Sounds a little bit like you are caught up in the attention the ex is giving you. Ego boost.
HOW would you feel if the situation was reversed?
If your husband's EX was all of a sudden doing the SAME things your ex is doing? You would probably NOT like that one bit, right?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2024):
Your husband has a lot of trust in your and I DO think he expect you to know what the right thing to do it...
"He didn’t ask me to remove him but I feel like I should"
You should remove this ex. HE is NOT a friend. He is not ACTING like a friend.
Cut the exBF loose.
BE respectful of your husband. He is respectful of you. Your Ex on the other hand, is NOT.
You don't need him in your life. And if you claim you do, you need to rethink a few things.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2024): Do give making your boundaries crystal clear a chance though before deciding from his subsequent actions whether to block him and delete him.
He might be pixels on your screen while your husband is flesh and blood right next to you, but at the other end of the line, it is also a just as fallible human being.
Everyone of us who does that would make the sacrifice of every Gazan child, elderly, woman, civilian pulled from the rubble just even a tiny bit more meaningful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2024): Yes just be honest, tell him you're married and what he's doing isn't appropriate. Then see how he reacts and if he respects your boundaries you can be friends.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 March 2024):
 Just delete the ex boyfriend, who clearly isn't worried about causing friction in your marriage.
Even if you don't include your relationship status on your social media, and you had no photos that suggest you're in a relationship, your ex should have been more cautious in reconnecting with you. You're in your 30s so he knew there was a good chance that you were in a relationship. If he wanted to rekindle a proper romantic relationship with you, he'd have had a conversation with you about that from the start.
Your ex is not looking for a platonic friendship.
The easiest, best thing to do is just delete and block him.
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