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I want to divorce the town I live in

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Question - (4 April 2024) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2024)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I want a divorce- from the town I live in. I hate North Carolina SO much that I'm too sad and angry to pray to God

We moved here from another U.S. state when I was a teenager, but I can't adjust, because it's toxic. To say that I'm in extreme culture shock is a huge understatement. I live in North Carolina, and I hate it so much that it literally interferes with my relationship with God. Someone breaks my spirit practically every day, and I'm too sad and angry to talk to God anymore. The vast majority of people here are mean, rude and uncaring, and the only thing that's changed since I came are the bad memories I've accumulated. The vast majority of people here are hateful af, and this place is like a garment that doesn't fit me at all.

Today, I had an extreme disappointment, and experienced such severe mistreatment from a healthcare "professional" that it pushed me past my emotional breaking point. I have been crying hysterically afternoon, because no one has ever been so cruel to me.

Over the years, North Carolina has robbed me of my dreams, it's robbed me of my mental health, and it's robbed me- YES, ROBBED- of my happiness.

People become civically defensive if you criticize North Carolina. They say that they're as sweet as their sweet tea, but I think that sweet tea is nasty and disgusting, just like most people's personalities up here. There is a lot of hatred and hostility here, and certain demographics of people are VERY hostile, and I've experienced discrimination, but I get retaliated against when I stand up for myself.

I don't belong here. The thought of living and dying in North Carolina makes my heart sink.

I had dreams for my life, but they can never come true because North Carolina ruins them for me. I would like to have a horse of my own. I would like to learn how to ride a horse skillfully. I would love to play guitar in a band (your girl's a good guitar player). But, of course, North Carolina has cheated me out of all of that.

Please don't tell me to accept North Carolina, or to settle for it. I can't have the life I want, because I don't live in the town I want. I just want to leave North Carolina and NEVER come back.

North Carolina will NEVER be home to me, and I would like to go live in another state or another country. How can I make that dream a reality

I don't want to be here anymore.

View related questions: divorce, player

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2024):

i see you have posted three different problems and questions one after the other, all pointing to you for sure. All full of self pity, all full of blaming the World, God and anyone else other than you for your own lack of courage or initiative to make your life better. Start by accepting that you and only you are able to make changes and has the incentive to. Then pick things that are manageable.Not ridiculous ideas like meeting a pop star or winning the lottery. Sit down and talk to yourself about your feelings and aims, do this with a qualified therapist as you clearly are not up to going through it alone. It is their job. They do it all the time. And you will never get there otherwise. It is that or continuing as you are - moaning and self pitying.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2024):

I'm sorry you're so unhappy with where you're living. But you sound full of anger and hatred and are blaming it all on North Carolina.

It sounds like you are confusing a lot of things together. I think you might benefit from some counselling. Then you could work out what is stopping you from learning to ride a horse or play guitar in a band.

There was a similar post to yours just now so I wonder if it's you? If not, could you ask for your contact details to go to the other lady and discuss things with each other?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (5 April 2024):

Honeypie agony auntYou are in your 40's so old enough to make a plan to move elsewhere.

But be realistic. The grass isn't always greener elsewhere.

I think you are being a little OTT.

NC didn't stop you from learning to ride. A state can't do that.

NC didn't stop you from playing guitar in a band either. Again, realistically, getting gigs and find a group to play with is UP to you, your skills, their skills - hitting it big? Doesn't happen to many people. I'd probably say Nashville would have been a better area to find people who are into music, but that wouldn't have guaranteed that you would have succeeded.

You could have had a side-gig as a guitar teacher, right?

If you don't want to stay there, then figure out WHERE you want to go and HOW you can realize that dream.

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