A
female
age
26-29,
*inaAmericanInUK
writes:Serious issue here :/I have had a girlfriend for a while now. It's become very serious.one time when she came to stay round mine we decided to have sex for the first time, it was my first time all together, and her first time with another girl. there was no passion what so ever. (about to go into detail) i put 3 fingers inside her and she wasn't even wet. she didn't seem to be enjoying it and didn't orgasm. i am very worried as she has had a male parnter before me and that as a girl i can't satisfy her in the same ways. i am also worried that i am doing EVERYTHING wrong.i know it was my first time so i wasn't expected to be a pro. but i was expecting her to have some sort of reaction.i can't talk to her about it as everytime i try to talk about it she immediately changes the subject. i can't even try other things with her as we haven't even come close to having sex againif someone could perhaps explain these things to me or even just one them and what we can do to sort it out, it would be a lot of help (: thank you.
View related questions:
lesbian, orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, confused4321  +, writes (10 November 2009):
maybe she doesnt think its a good idea after all
A
female
reader, openmind +, writes (29 October 2009):
Hey girl dont be discouraged cumming is just as much a mental thing as a physical thing. As this is her first girl on girl lovin then her mind was probally racing with all kinds of stuff. I agree with the previous responses 3 fingers even if they fit comfortably is too much espically since she was not wet. First of all after some intense kissing and a good back rub, slowly remove her clothing one piece at a time. Explore every inch of her skin with your mouth and nose being very sensual. Try gently caressing her breasts and gently taking her nipple between your teeth and massaging it gently with your tongue. Put your head between her legs and lick around her clit and explore her whole vagina with your tongue, lick her labia, clit ect. Then begin rubbing her clit with your tongue in slow circles suck on her clit gently. Before you finger rub your finger or even your tongue around the entrance to her vagina to really turn her on. When you finger her start with one you will feel a rough ridge like place in side her and you move your finger in a come hiter or beckoning motion on this ridge that is her G-spot dont forget about her clit rub it with your free hand or let her use a little bullet vibrator. You will tell from her reactions what she does and doesnt like, also play with yourself before to explore what feels good to you and do it to her. Dont be nervous and take it slow sex with a woman is an amazing and beautiful experience dont concentrate on getting her off but on how amazing your bodies feel together go get her girl!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): At your age I'm going to count this as a same sex experimentation, and not a lesbian relationship. At 15 (or 13, or 14) you're still trying to figure out what makes YOU tick, much less how to get someone else off. Maybe she was too up tight to relax and enjoy your efforts. Since she's not trying to have sex with you a second time, it's likely that she's not into it... sorry!
You're going to need to get your lovers comfortable so that they can relax and share the experience with you, telling you what they want, and how to please them... it's part of learning!
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (25 October 2009):
 okay also,
is she in general, very distant now? I'm wondering if she's having second thoughts about being a lesbian, if this is her first experience. maybe she's feeling weird about how it went and now is questioning her orientation. I think there definitely needs to be a conversation, regardless. But just cause it was lackluster one time doesn't mean anything. it takes a long time to hone one's talents. I'd try to plumb her for information, if she needs time to figure out who she is or if she was just hoping for more chemistry.
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (25 October 2009):
okay. I'm not sure how much you know about female orgasms (it says you could be as young as 13), so I might come off as condescending, I apologize in advance if this is all stuff you know. It sounds to me that you took on too much at once. If she wasn't wet at all, you shouldn't have 3 fingers inside her. Arouse her by rubbing her clit, or licking ONE finger and sliding between her legs a couple of times, maybe inserting it in her vagina and take your finger back out after a couple of thrusts, put it back on her clit and rub in circles..most girls don't orgasm from having fingers (or penis!) inside of them, but more often girls orgasm from clittoral stimulation (or maybe you were doing that and you didn't mention it). i would try to engage her too, you know, if she gets really hot and bothered making out with you or you know her chest is sensitive, make sure kiss her or her boobs while you use your other finger on her. don't just get absorbed in stuffing more fingers in her like a thanksgiving turkey. I don't know if you two are on this level, or want to be, or whatnot, but a lot of people engage in oral sex, and lick a girls clit to make her come. Three fingers to me, even if I was aroused, would probably just feel awkward. Usually my guy starts with one til I ask for more. you can tease her by touching everywhere but her clit, or when you insert a finger, drag it out slowly along the tate (skin between the vag and butt), that area is particularly sensitive on some girls. ask what she wants ask her what feels good, (good sex also requires good communication and encouragement from the other partner, otherwise you can't improve, try to tell your gf that, that's a big hurdle to overcome (embarassment or whatnot)but its worth it!). there's a lot online too if you want to look up how to give good oral sex, or i'm sure even just 'handjobs' on maxim type sites. hope this helped.
...............................
|
