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Do you think I am a slut?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 October 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Do you think I am a slut?

I have been flirting with this guy for years, he likes me because I am shy, we have kissed a couple of times, we get on really well and very recently we were kissing and as we were kissing he asked me to make him cum, which I wasn't sure about but he put my hand down his pants and I did, now I feel a bit cheap. Did I do the right thing or am I a bit of a slut?

He has never aksed me out we just flirt all the time. Think he just wants FWB.

View related questions: cheap, flirt, kissing, shy

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A female reader, RCK New Zealand +, writes (26 October 2009):

No

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (24 October 2009):

DoubleM agony auntNo, you are absolutely not a slut, according to the given description. But you did not offer any explanation regarding his relationship status. I think that any man who flirts with a young woman should be single and available. If he is not, then the infatuation should be reconsidered, but you did nothing terribly wrong by supplying a hand job - if that's all that happened.

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A female reader, Stranger. United States +, writes (24 October 2009):

Stranger. agony auntWell honestly being a slut is diffent.

like going out and prolly having sex with many guys.

you didnt do the right thing though.

that just makes you look just look wrong.

dont do that.

at all.

he just want to have his way with you.

dont do that to yourself.

respect yourself.

dont do that okay?

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (23 October 2009):

fishdish agony auntto me, a slut is someone that goes around with A BUNCH of guys, you only did one sexual thing with one guy, so from my definition I'd say you're not a slut. I agree with what people are saying re: maybe you're feeling used because you want more out of your relationship with him and he's only looking for physical but I think, even though I wouldn't feel slutty in your situation, I would feel a little used just because I didn't get off, it was definitely a one-way..situation. would you have felt as cheap if you got some action instead of just giving it? if so if he says make me come again, i'd say uh you owe me one. consider that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):

I don't think you're a slut. I think that you just did something that you didn't really want to do and with hind sight kind of regret it. You're not only and I'm sure from now on you'll be more confident about standing your ground if you are not sure you want to do something. Its hard when you really like someone as you want to do anything to please them and get you to like them back. He probably knew this at the time as well. I'd just put it down to a learning experience and try to get over him, if he was interested in more than just FWB he would have made that clear by now.

Also, don't beat yourself up about it. You are allowed to enjoy sexual feelings and acts, it won't make you a slut for enjoying yourself in the right situation. As women, society sends us so many messages about looking sexy but if women are seen to be enjoying their sexuality they are branded as sluts. Women have as much right to enjoy their sexuality as men do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):

Nah, you're not a slut. You felt cheap as you have standards.. and a guy going "make me cum" is not exactly romantic is it?? Demonstrate you are a women of high value and don't get in situations where you feel cheap and save the sexual stuff until you're in a nice and commited relationship with someone.. it'll be miles better that way.

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A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2009):

shania agony auntNo, your not a slut, you have been interested in this guy for years and only now it went a step further and become more sexual,trouble is i think this fella is using you....Reason being,he hasn't asked you out on a date even though its obvious that you fancy him and all he wants from you is a bit of sexual relief without the relationship.....is that what you want? Is he married? has a girlfriend already? I think your wasting your time with him because he cant offer you anything, if i was you, i would look elsewhere.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):

He pretty much forced you to make him 'cum' that is wrong and you did nothing wrong. No I do not think you are a slut at all you just have to be careful what situations your in.

He might not like you at all from my view it seems he only likes you cuz he thinks he can get in your pants

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2009):

Of course you're not a slut. You haven't done anything wrong at all.

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