A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I liked this guy for ages, but was never sure if he liked me... i was pretty sure he did, and so, at the age of 17 (yes, it was humiliating) I finally kissed him at a party. It was my first kiss. He definitely seemed to like me that night, but when my friend egged me on to talk to him the next day, he said he wasn't looking for a relationship. We subsequently became friends and I tried soooo hard to get over my feelings for him. I didn't help that he'd stay up until the wee small hours talking to me. Anyway, I managed, a few months later to move past it, and i fell into this state of apathy. Buuut a few months later still a different guy asked me out, who i wasn't so keen on, but there was a long 'courting period' and we ended up dating for 4 months. The relationship wasn't anything special, and I ended it. I have few illusions of teenage 'love' lasting forever. I must admit though, it did feel good to try and make the first guy jealous.SO. All throughout this period me and the first guy kept meeting at parties, and it was consensus amongst my peers that he thought he'd made a mistake, but still i was unsure. It wasn't until about a fortnight ago that he came to talk to me after quite a long time, and the feelings came rushing back. It made me so angry!! But again, I pushed it faaaar down. This guy is one of the 'cool guys', he's nothing special when he's around other people, but around me... I don't know, I guess he just felt comfortable enough to be less cool (and more likable), a lot of people do really. But like I say, I pushed it down. I've decided uni is the most important thing atm, and I've lost sympathy for males in general. BUt yesterday i got really drunk at a party, and so did he, we talked for ages, sat in an armchair in front of a fire together, swapped numbers, and eventually kissed. He even walked me to my car. My problem is... what do i do?? I was totally hung up on this guy for so long, but I'm older and wiser now. And he made it clear he was very drunk. It seems to me like the answers clear... brush it off, laugh and go back to being friends (and yes, i think i could do this)... But i dont know what he thinks anymore... because even through my drunken haze i was very very aware that he liked me, that he sought me out, and that HIS friends (and mine, but specifically his) were teasing him due to some things he'd said. What if this time he really did realise his mistake? what if this time he wants to take it further? I can't work out how I feel about any of this anymore, please help!!
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (25 October 2009):
 honestly, i'd be forthrigh about it and call him and be like do you want to be friends or not because you're going back and forth and that's not worth my time; you don't have to make yourself vulnerable and say how you feel about him, just say it's frustrating not to have him be consistent, something like that.
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