A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi.Ive been with my gf for about 3 months. ive known her for years and shes always really fancied me. Iv always suffered with acne and i dont go out when i get a bad flare up. Most people dont realise i have bad acne because i dont go out when its bad. before we came a couple i only used to see my girlfriend ig we were in town with mutual friends on a night out. she never knew i had bad acne now and then and didnt realise how unconfident i am and how low my self esteem is because of it. she would only see me when my skin was in good condition. im good looking when my skin is good and im in really good shape, and im a really nice person. anyway when we started going out i would make excuses not to see her when my acne was bad, but soon i had to tell her why i did not want to see her and why i sometimes didnt want to go out on the weekend. she was fine about it and shes been really nice and supportive.my acne is getting worse and my flare ups are becoming more frequent. im about to go on medication which should get rid of it tho.Anyway what im worried about is, do u think this will put her off me. im worried me always being down about it will make her be less attracted to me! Also when she was absolutely smitten for me for so long she didnt know i had acne and she always saw me out as this good looking, happy go lucky, funny person that was really fun to be around and liked to go out on weekends. but now shes with me im scared shes gonn a think im a miserable git, because im always down and self concious. i cant be myself and im always moody because of my skin. im scared shes gonna think im not the guy she fell for. and im worried cos i havent been out the last 5 weekends because my skin flares up just before the weekend, im worried shel think im boring and shel meet sum1 else when she is out without me. someone who really is good looking all the time and who is fun and happy all the time! surely me being down and confiding in her about my acne is gonna put her well off me and certainly make her not as attracted to me. what she fell for was nothing like how i am now. i feel like ive fooled her cos im like the super confident alpha male when im out but deep down im a sensitive depressed git!lol.Do u think she will be totally put off by my problem? She is absolutely stunning! a real stunner and she could have any1 she wants, and i dont think i live up2 wot she thought i was because of my acne.
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acne, depressed, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): Give her some credit for liking YOU... none of us are perfect, and the folks who people think ARE often suffer the most insecurity. I work with a guy with really bad skin and none of us even notice it... it's simply part of who he is, he's a great guy (got a great wife too!) and some weeks his skin is fairly clear, other weeks it's not... we don't care... he is who he is, and we all like him!
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (25 October 2009):
 agree with the other girls--i mean you've already warned her, so i feel like she's prepared enough to "face" you (oh, a PUN!), just think broadly, even though your skin has been bad a while, it's about to be a temporary ailment that is going to clear up. you're on the cusp of all that about to being over. i really think she can handle it, she should be mature enough to understand that pimples don't make up a person, i always felt that way. she likes you more than for just your face, i'm sure. go out with her, pay attention to her, i would be concerned if you were avoiding nights out for about 2 months...couldnt you at least see her, just the two of you a night alone watching a movie at your house or something? i think you should try to see her during one of your worst flair ups because a) she'll see you at your 'worst' and you'll see her reaction, and b) when she doesn't scream and run away, you'll gain a little confidence back. good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): Your acne would probably be the last thing on her mind! I know that you probably think about your skin all the time and wonder if other people are looking at you but I think your struggle is more of an internal one. She has already decided that your her guy and she's decided that with or without blemishes you are a keeper. That should make you feel pretty special! You've probably heard this before but acne is temporary, when it's gone you'll be damn sexy and have a girl that loves you for who you are. I know that acne can put you down in the dumps but while your with your girl try to make that extra effort. FYI I know acne has NEVER ever put me off a guy and there are heaps of actors like Nicholas Cage (aka hunky heartthrob) who had acne. Xx take care and chin up.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 If she really likes you then she won't be put off by your acne. And like you said you are getting treatment for it. Just be yourself around her and everything will be fine. Just don't act depressed around her.
Don't worry, everything will work out if she likes you enough.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 October 2009):
She's not. And if she did measure you purely on acne, she wouldn't be that great. Don't be so self concious around her. She really likes you, and that's all that counts. If she didn't, she'd have dumped you beforehand. Just relax and trust her.
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